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In New York we do not tolerate crinkly bags. At least, I don't. The biggest assholes are the people who use their cell phones.

Use their cellphones? I'd beat the living shit out of anyone who dared do so.

Yes! I need you.

*widens eyes*

I, er, need you here.... people like you, that is...

There's no one like me, we have already been over this. Anyways, I am currently tied up beating this shit out of people who don't indicate when changing lanes.

I think there should be another horn that instead of honking, blasts the word "DOUCHEBAG." I would use that a lot. Presumably everyone would. Might stop some rage accidents.

Should be like that TV show Wacky Races. Then we could have buttons for flame throwers, oil-slick, smoke clouds and the like.

I may not know anything at all about motor vehicles, and while that definitely seems helpful, I've just got this nagging feeling that it might make things worse.

Worse? Or better!