Let's call this your only chance

Only you would know. Were you in a situation where you felt compelled to have sex, where you were not given a choice in having sex, or where you did not really understand what was going on?

Ie., were you drunk enough to really give consent? You'd have said yes to painting the cat orange, if someone asked you to?

It's not about a need to define rape such that so many women end up "being raped", it's about getting a male entitled society to figure out it's not ok to use a women, just cause. you rally need to know she's ok with what you are doing.

I would say I felt compelled to have sex because of the social pressure to have sex, and so I felt it wasn't something I could walk away from. Another time I was blacked out, so I would say I wasn't really aware of what was going on.

I agree with your last part.