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User:David Gerard

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I'm this guy. Or, if you prefer, this one. Or my home page. Or my fake news blog. Or even the unofficial official RationalWiki blog.

Best way to get hold of me is to email dgerard@gmail.com. I am so real-name that I publicly post my phone number on the Internet (+44 7733 223 584, email is always preferred, usually goes to message, I do check them promptly though).

My pet robot is called Divabot. KILL, BOY! KILL!

I am a volunteer sysadmin for the RationalWiki Foundation boxes, still making sense of the damn thing.

I am also one of the moderators. Play nice, now.

Drafts[edit]

How to make a martini for me[edit]

  • 1 shot vodka
  • 1 shot gin
  • 1 shot dry vermouth
  • shake with ice
  • two olives

Achieves the cocktail effect: where all the alcohol cancels out and it slips past your lips and mouth like a song, before burning all the way down your gullet.

BrainMop.jpg As a confirmed mustard jar for taking on this job as a Sysop on RationalWiki: I, David Gerard, pledge to only do what I can be fucking bothered with.
I furthermore pledge that if I indulge in secret private conversations about you, we will make a formal report to the mob. Is that all?
If you impugn my motives without warrant, or challenge my "AUTHORATIE", er, there is nothing I can or will do.

How the election extension works (I think)[edit]

In LocalSettings.php, something like this:

$wgElectionName = "ModsNov2015";
$wgElectionCandidates = array("142․124․55․236", "Alec Sanderson", "Aloysius the Gaul", "Arisboch", "Captain Wolff", "ChrisAmiss", "CorruptUser", "David Gerard", "EddieMonah", "FuzzyCatPotato", "Genghis Khant", "Gooniepunk", "Human", "Ikanreed", "KOMF", "NarkySawtooth", "Noir LeSable", "PacWalker", "Paravant", "Queex", "Revolverman", "ScepticWombat", "Serocco", "Smerdis of Tlön", "Spud", "Stabby the Misanthrope");

This generates a file called ModsNov2015.blt in w/ (the MediaWiki directory) which some poor bugger then has to analyse. I think there's software for that bit.