User:DeltaStar/Helden

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There is much good advice that can be given to teenagers and people in their 20s and 30s. But the best advice of all is this: marry a conservative.

Benefits include:

  • freedom from sexually transmitted diseases and their harm (including most infertility)
        *although proof of the number of STD's among conservatives is not 
         used to promote this idea       
  • fidelity in marriage and accountability
        *because no conservative, ever, has been caught in an affair 
        *in fact, some of these conservatives caught in an affair (or sexual scandal) include;
                *Jim Bakker - infedility with a woman 
                *Bob Barr - married three times, caught in affair with a woman
                *Robert Bauman - charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy
                *John Bolton - forced his wife into group sex acts
                *Mike Bowers - admitted to 10 acts of adultery
                *Neil Bush - had sex with a woman while on a business trip
                *Mark Foley - sent sexual content to teenage boys for over 10 years
                *Ted Haggard - had sex with a male prostitute and used Crystal Meth
                *Larry Craig - offered sex to a male cop in a public bathroom
                *Bob Allen - offered $20 to a male cop for oral sex
                *Brian J Doyle - attempted to solicite a 14 year old girl for sex 
                       using a computer. He was busted in a Predator Sting group
                *Paul Ingram - plead guilty to rapping his own daughters
                *Rush Limbaugh - divorced three times, about to marry again
                *Bill O'Reilly - taped having explicite sexual conversations with another woman
                *Bob Packwood - retired after being revealed he sexually harrased over 10 woman
                *Strom Thurmond - impregnated a 16 year old girl while he was a married adult
                *Jim West - sex with an underage boy
                *Please Google "Conservative affair" for further information
        *unless you are Muslim, than its fair game
        *Miss USA (Rima Fakih) is a muslim woman, recently target by the GOP for her faith. 
            Claims made by the GOP include that she was only given the title because 
            of her faith. 
        *Obama - faced numerous threats and accusations of Muslim heritage
  • frugality and freedom from burdens of big spending and debt
        *Numerous conservative states in the U.S. are currently in debt and are spending far 
            more than they take in each month
        *offer does not include the Freedom Of Speech for non-conservatives
  • respect for a work ethic, and rejection of an entitlement mentality
        *Please read the list of sexual affairs for those caught while working
  • appreciates the importance of a conservative culture in raising children
  • no confusion over who is the homemaker and who is the breadwinner; recognizing the benefits of division of labor
        *Womans liberation and sexual empowerment mean that ladies get to make the sandwich 
             before or after sex. Its their choice. 
  • recognizing that values do matter and do have serious consequences
  • having values powerful enough to overcome addiction, such as drinking, gambling, pornography, obesity and smoking
        *Again, because no Conservative has ever had a sexual, drug, drinking, gambling, 
             pornography, obesity or smoking addiction
        *Sexual addiction - please see above 
        *Drug addiciton - Ted Haggard
        *Alcohol addiciton - Senator Roy Ashburn (includes sex with male prostitue)
        *Gambling addiction - William Bennett 
        *Pornography addiction - see above
        *Obesity - Rush Limbaugh
        *Smoking addiiction - seriously?
        *except when they can be used to benefit our own interests, including movies, news,
             clothing, music
        *unless you are a woman, then you allow the man to decide. Or do you want another
            pop in the mouth? Cause I will. I will hit you so hard. Why do you make me do 
            this to you? I love you, but you need to learn. 

True Case Studies[1][edit]

Example One[edit]

Ralph was a conservative who attended a graduate school having a predominantly liberal culture. There he fell in love with a woman who was quite liberal and held a very different set of values. He married her, but within six months he realized he had made a mistake, and within a year filed for divorce.

However, Ralph belonged to a church that does not accept divorce, and it took him another four grueling years to obtain an annulment.

What became the worst experience of his life could have been avoided had he realized the benefits of marrying a conservative.

Example Two[edit]

Suzy was attractive, and promiscuous. Joe, a conservative, liked Suzy and was impressed by her ability to excel at a top college and even succeed at a good graduate school. Joe decided it did not matter if Suzy did not share his conservative values, and Joe married Suzy.

For the next 25 years Joe tried with Suzy to have children, without success. What caused the infertility can never be known with certainty, but it is known that about half of promiscuous people carry sexually transmitted diseases, and that these diseases can cause infertility.[2]

Example Three[edit]

Beth was a conservative woman who liked Bob, a liberal man. Beth put her reservations aside and married Bob, and then gave Bob the best 30 years of her life. Beth had children with Bob and raised them to college.

Then, around age 50, Bob decided he'd like to date younger women. He divorced Beth against her wishes, and now she lives alone.

Bob's actions were consistent with the Hollywood values he preferred. Beth's actions in staying with Bob and raising the children during her younger years were consistent with her conservative values. But now Bob is happy, while Beth is not.

Example Four[edit]

Elizabeth was a smart liberal who knew she would be better off marrying a conservative than a liberal like herself. She found one in Stan, a conservative who was a very hard worker and who did not have the luxury of time to develop the social skills that Elizabeth had.

Stan's circle of friends and acquaintances were limited, and he thought all women were liberal. He married Elizabeth thinking that all women were liberal like her.

For the next thirty years Elizabeth censored Stan's conservative comments, interfered with his conservative activities, and caused problems for Stan at every political turn. But Stan thought all women were that way, and rarely complained.

Tragically, Elizabeth became sick and died. Stan then remarried, this time to a conservative woman whom he did not even realize existed. For the rest of his life Stan marveled at how different -- and better -- his life was.

Example Five[edit]

Kate was a conservative woman who fell in love with Bill, a liberal man. Bill convinced her to marry him despite her parents strong objections. Ten years later, Kate began to suffer from strange bouts of lethargy and sickness. Several trips to the doctor were unable to find a cause, until he performed a blood test. It turned out that Kate had AIDS. She confronted Bill who admitted that he considered himself bisexual and had been involved in several homosexual affairs while married to Kate. He was tested as well, and also was HIV positive, but the disease had not progressed to AIDS. Kate divorced and is now forced to take a battery of medications to delay the inevitable.

Example Six[edit]

John attended a Conservative college, where he met Nancy, who attended a liberal college in the same city. The two dated, and developed strong feelings for one another, despite their large differences in their values. Nancy, an atheist, convinced John that she loved him, and that he loved her. Having expected it from her earlier, more liberal, boyfriends, Nancy convinced John to have pre-marital sex, despite his misgivings. They used contraception, but being imperfect, it failed, and Nancy became pregnant. John then proposed to Nancy and the two were soon married.

John finished college and got a good job, while Nancy dropped out and raised their son. Like many liberal college students[3], Nancy was a drug user, and had drug-dealer friends. These people had frequent access to John and Nancy's apartment. One day, while John and Nancy were on vacation, Nancy's drug-dealing "friends" let themselves in and stole nearly everything they owned. They even used their bank records to empty their accounts. When Nancy realized what happened, and who was responsible, she tried to make it look like a random break-in, rather than an inside job. She was sloppy, however, and the police were quick to realize her complicity after the fact. Nancy went to jail for several months, while John lost his job because sensitive papers he had brought home were stolen in the robbery. Completely destitute and without a job, John took his son and moved in with his parents.

John divorced Nancy while she was still incarcerated. He met a nice conservative woman who he started to date, and, with a good work ethic, slowly began to put his life back together.


Case Study Notes[edit]

None of these case studies have any factual merrit or proof. Read them at your own risk.

References[edit]

  1. The names and occasionally unimportant facts are changed to preserve privacy.
  2. "Among those who admitted having sex, the rate was even more disturbing -- 40 percent had an STD."[1]
  3. College drug use, binge drinking rise