CLoM » Batman!

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These are some movies I have seen. I have summarized them so you can enjoy them again, or for the first time if you have not seen them before now. All very accurate and good.


JOKER - I represent the petty hatred and inhumanity of our society. There is genuinely nothing you can do to stop me.
BATMAN - You forgot one thing, Joker.
JOKER - Oh yeah?
BATMAN - I'm writing this movie.
JOKER - Well fuck.


RA'S AL GHUL - Batman! To be truly righteous you must kill the evildoers!
BATMAN - Never! For this you must die!
RA'S AL GHUL - Wait hold on a second.


MR FREEZE - It'll be a cold day in hail before you defeat me, Batman. It's a shame we can't just grit along - I'm an ice guy really. You just have to get to snow me... the truth really freeze your mind. Alas, I suppose I have to chill you. This morning I hope you remembered to frost your teeth, because you're about to kiss your toy b-icicle goodbye. Isn't it about time you cold for help?
BATMAN - I'm going to do violence to you now.


ROBIN - Batman! To be truly righteous you must kill the evildoers!
BATMAN - Wrong! I don't kill anyone ever. And what did I tell you about talking?
ROBIN - You said "no talking, ever".
BATMAN - That's fucking right. Now go start my car.
TWO-FACE - Hey guys.
BATMAN - Say your prayers, geek.
TWO-FACE - Jesus fucking piss Christ you fucking killed me you asshole. What the fuck, man?


PENGUIN - Hey I've just noticed this movie doesn't have a main villain. That must be why I'm never fighting anyone. Well hey, a guy could get used to this.
BATMAN - Eat lead.
PENGUIN - Oh fucking hell.


JOKER - Nothing doing. I didn't sign up for this. I'm going to sit here and be a law-abiding citizen, and you don't get to kill me.
BATMAN - I get a tank in this movie.
JOKER - I've seen this movie and you do not get a tank. Where the hell did the director go?
BATMAN - I killed him for his insolence. He draws bats in a way I do not condone. I am the death of all goths.
JOKER - Mr Burton? Helloooo? I want to taaaaalk to you...
BATMAN - Computer, prepare the BatTank. Extra missiles today.

Wow, Batman is a jerk.

--Mei (talk) 07:09, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

--Edited, Mei (talk) 13:32, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

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The Begins one made me laugh so hard, Mei. You truly are useful! --ԿՕՏՏՃՐԼՃՈStrong Opinions 01:09, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

Hooray, Yossarian! Yeah that was a pretty confused movie. In that movie, a secret group of remote ninjas decided to destroy an entire American city, and still managed to seem less implausible than the guy dressed as a bat. I think I like Batman Returns the most. Mei (talk) 18:42, 30 April 2010 (UTC)