User talk:Tolerance/Archive1

Greetings

I am Ishkabombom destroyer of the Martian civilization. I feel qualified for this position due to my previous position as EndBringer, in which I successfully killed 2 billion preindustrial Martians and destroyed every artifact of their civilization, save for their canal system and a big monument shaped like a face. Ishkabombom (talk) 17:46, 13 September 2011 (UTC)

Er. Hi. I'm Dumpling. Eat too much of me, you'll 'splode. Don't do anything reckless now.--Dumpling (talk) 17:49, 13 September 2011 (UTC)

Those are indeed Excellent References! Might I trouble you for a little Clarification?

• Am I to take it that you Brought this Destruction about by Supernatural rather than Technological means? (I know that some would Quibble about this Distinction but it is Important to me.)
• If you perceive yourself as as deity, do you see yourself as a Hands-on, Interventionist daily Crusher of the Ungodly; or more as an "End of the World" Götterdämmerung type? From your Previous Experience I assume that latter but I want to make sure that I consider you for the correct role.
• Could you supply more Detail about your methodology used in destroying the Martian Civilisation?

Thank you.--Tolerance (talk) 17:59, 13 September 2011 (UTC)

My destruction of the Martians was sue to my ability to spit globules of explosive radioactive fire from each of my three heads. Their primitive weapons could not harm me because I am made of living metal. I see my self as a hands on deity, as I was the Assassin of the Gods. Eventually the gods got fed up with the Martians and told me to kill them all. It was quite an experience, as my prior duties never required more than the destruction of a duchy or so. Unfortunately, the rest of the pantheon is now sulking around Kolob, and I have been left behind. I was briefly discovered by a human group called Lemurians, but they failed to be specific so I destroyed both them and their enemies, the Atlanteans. I also have control of the weather, and the ability to control arctic wildlife. Ishkabombom (talk) 18:08, 13 September 2011 (UTC)

My doubts have been Allayed! I am considering you for the triple Role as "God of War, Weather and Extinction". However I am waiting for other responses and I am sure that you will Understand that I wish to hear from all candidates before making before Making a Decision.

Nevertheless, given your ability to control Arctic wildlife and your demonstrated powers of extinction I wonder if you would consider the temporary role of "God of the lemmings"? I understand that this may be a little beneath your present expectations but the lemming Population is becoming a bit of a Problem at the moment and I was Wondering If you could help Out.

Finally, there is the question of your Remuneration. Traditionally payment has been made in Virgin Acolytes but they are in Somewhat short Supply at the moment I am afraid. Of course being an Alien Deity you might have no interest in them anyway. How you you feel about payment in lemmings?--Tolerance (talk) 18:25, 13 September 2011 (UTC)

I understand perfectly as it is a competitive market these days. I will gladly accept this temporary assignment as God of lemmings, as I should be able to exterminate vast amounts of them. As to the question of renumeration, simply female acolytes will do nicely, Martians were physiologically similar to Earthlings, albeit blue. They didn't put much stock in virginity either. Ishkabombom (talk) 18:29, 13 September 2011 (UTC)

Ahhhh ..... You are thinking in terms of Female Virgin Acolytes. Would Males be acceptable? If not, I Understand that the Lemmings are Most attractive at this Time of the Year and you might Consider Payment in terms of them?--Tolerance (talk) 18:55, 13 September 2011 (UTC)

Females are traditional and taste far better, but really, when you're 60 meters tall it takes quite a bit to keep you sated. Males are acceptable, as they are filling but bland. Ishkabombom (talk) 19:00, 13 September 2011 (UTC)

Do they have to be Virgins? Would Ordinary Acolytes suffice? On the Other Hand you might consider the Lemming dish?--Tolerance (talk) 19:04, 13 September 2011 (UTC)

Virgins lack... stimulating souls. Ordinary acolytes will suffice quite well. Ishkabombom (talk) 19:07, 13 September 2011 (UTC)

OK Great. Your on the payroll as the God of the Lemmings for the next few Weeks while I review other Candidates. You have Honestly set a high standard in Cruelty, Abomination and Hard Bargaining which they may Struggle to Surpass. Welcome Aboard. --Tolerance (talk) 19:10, 13 September 2011 (UTC)

Thank you, I shall set to work on the lemming problem immediately. Ishkabombom (talk) 19:13, 13 September 2011 (UTC)

Feel free to supply progress reports. I am preparing the first batch of acolytes.--Tolerance (talk) 19:15, 13 September 2011 (UTC)

CV

SCREECH. FLAP FLAP.

• LIVE IN SUBTERRANEAN CAVE UNTIL SAVIOUR TO COME REVEALED. SCREECH. BORED TO TEARS.
• BIG FANGS AND CLAWS
• ABLE TO FIGHT FINAL BATTLES. SCREECH. WITH ROCKS TO DROP.
• ABLE TO CARRY MR. SCREECH TOLERANCE ON BACK.
• SCREECH. REFERENCE: TERROR TRINCA, SAME SUBTERRANEAN CAVE.
• FEARED BY MANY. TERROR TABA (talk) 01:54, 15 September 2011 (UTC)

Ah. Hello Terror Taba. Your reputation precedes you.

I am Saddened to learn of the Conditions under which your previous Employer obliged you to work. I can assure you that we at Toleration have an entirely different work ethic. Would you like to Suggest some preferable conditions under which you might wish to wait for the End of Time?

Could you also fill in a few details? My understanding is that your specialty is the Lethal Delivery of crude gravity-accelerated Ordinance. (In Bat I suppose that would be: DROPPING ROCKS ON PEOPLE.) Perhaps you could tell me if you have actually carried out this activity in, shall we say, peacetime. That is to say, is your experience/ability only theoretical or do you have some "hands on" experience?

With respect to your other points, I must say that the idea of Tiding on the Back of a giant bat is somewhat appealing and we must come back to this issue.

With regard your emoluments I am not sure what would be in Order. I'm afraid that I'm a little low on acolytes at the moment and I was wondering if you would be interested in Lemmings - I expect to have a surfeit of the little chaps soon. Alternatively simply your return to previous position of Glory might satisfy you. Please Advise. --Tolerance (talk) 21:21, 15 September 2011 (UTC)

Holy Lord Bacu's Application

If I am appointed back to my rightful status as a true god, I will use my influence to replace the current proto-prophet with a prophet who will actually be able to successfully convert people (or even one person) to the faith. Clearly we chose very badly with Zarnacy and if I am appointed to the position I will see to it that he is removed. We need a leader with charisma, not someone who writes barely intelligible drivel for hundreds of pages. --Holy Lord Bacu (talk) 06:25, 15 September 2011 (UTC)

Dear Lord Bacu. I regret that we may be talking at cross-purposes. I am attempting to fill out my religion, Tolerism, with available deities. Those taking part in this project would naturally be expected to relinquish any claims to positions of power which they may have held in previous organizations, religions, universes or realities.

Unfortunately, I seem to feel that your Application is more concerned with the Leading of some Counter-reformation within your previous/existing set of realities. While I am sure that this is a Worthwhile Goal and one which should be Applauded it does not really allow you to readily fit into any of the Job Opportunities here at Tolerism.

This is certainly a shame as someone of your status, power and renown would certainly be an asset to our organization if we could come to terms.

Perhaps you would care to Reconsider your position and life-goals as a deity, and should you feel like making a Clean Break with your current reality I would be delighted to Talk to you Again. --Tolerance (talk) 21:30, 15 September 2011 (UTC)

Perhaps if you could give more of an indication of the sort of deity you are looking for, and the powers said deity would possess I could give you a more definite answer. Although I was happy to play second fiddle to some extent whilst I served my apprenticeship, I feel I am now ready to take the next step up and be the god I was always destined to be. I have been working on improving my jealousy and my rage, as well as my capriciousness and lack of regard for life in general. Holy Lord Bacu (talk) 03:15, 16 September 2011 (UTC)

Also, as you can probably appreciate, ever since Taba lost her reality status, the rest of us Maratrean deities are a little concerned about our reality. A firm assurance that I could never be uncreated would go a long way to arranging a deal. Holy Lord Bacu (talk) 02:53, 16 September 2011 (UTC)

I can Understand that when any organization undergoes downsizing then this causes consternation amongst the remaining staff. While one can certainly argue that a "job for life" in nowadays not guaranteed for any mortal it really does seem Reasonable to assume that immortal deities would demand such reassurances. I am happy to pledge that any deity which forms part of Tolerism will remain a fully functional deity as long as the religion exists. Clearly however, I can not guarantee the existence or nature of godhood beyond the existence of the Religion itself. Consider the case of Zeus, once the Father of the Gods and now reduced to Mythic status. Or YHWH once a Magnificently oppressive and violent God who was obliged to undergo Therapy and reconstitution.

With regard to the positions available I may have been a Little Remiss and I shall add something about this Shortly.--Tolerance (talk) 18:02, 16 September 2011 (UTC)

Taba

I am Batman. Not terror Batman. Just Batman. Taba (talk) 11:42, 15 September 2011 (UTC)

Hello Mr Taba. I am led to understand that you have a somewhat confusing name - in that you are a Bat called Taba but you are not "Terror Taba". I have to say that your command of English is certainly better than that of your namesake. Equally though, Comprehensible typed English of any sort is is certainly a Remarkable Accomplishment for any bat no matter how magical.

Unfortunately, while your Command of the keyboard is Commendable I am left with the feeling that your job application, if that is what it is, is Somewhat Terse.

Do you think you could give me a quick rundown of your attributes and abilities? What, as a God, do you "bring to the table" so to speak? An idea of the sort of compensation package you might be looking for would also be useful. (If you are interested, I shortly expect to have a significant number of hot lemmings available.)--Tolerance (talk) 21:39, 15 September 2011 (UTC)

Terror_Trinka - whats up dude ?

Trinka here, applying for whatever you have going. Things are a bit lean at the moment and the bat droppings are piling up here in the cave. I seek enough to add high speed internet, an account with a streaming movie place and health care. I speak many languages such as french , parle vu france ? and spanish, No habla espanol and many others. Here is a picture that shows my photogenic side so I could be a spokescat for say Nair . Let me knows what you wants to do next. Thanks muchly Terror Trinka (talk) 00:02, 16 September 2011 (UTC)

Hello Mr (?) Trinka - or may I call you Terro?

In all honesty your requirements are quite easy to fulfill. While I understand that you are really an "end times" deity I am Wonder if you would like to leave the cave from time to time in order to involve yourself occasionally in more "real world" activities?

I'm not exactly sure what a Giant Cat could do for as the moment though - could you give me some idea of your dimensions in either Imperial or metric values?

I'm a bit confused about your Languages as you say that you can speak Spanish but then I think you seem to say (in Spanish) that you don't Speak that language.--Tolerance (talk) 18:59, 16 September 2011 (UTC)

Its Ms Trinka actually and I are a female cat, if you call me terror then the bat thinks you are talking to him. Whats a cubit ? hmm, thats tough cause no one seemed to indicate standard, english or egyption cubit. I think it was about 20 inches in your measurements so I are 7 cubits or 140 inches tall or 11' 8". Do you know how hard it is for an 11' tall woman to get a date ? and let me tell you, living in a cave with a giant bat doesnt help. :( I understand that you seem easily confused about the language thing, I am of course a sort of god, and therefore am polysyllabic or maybe polylinguil ? Engrish is so hard for a cat. * mreoowww * I think I could perhaps be a wild pole dancer but I would need a really big pole. Do you have a really big pole ? and lessons. Mi espanol es mucho gusto hombre ! My claws are supposed to be 1 cubit long but I keep them trimmed. I could be a bouncer if you need that , I like to toss things and watch them bounce. I see myself as a fashion model kinda like twiggy but on a far grander scale. * flappity flappity flab thud* OHH here comes Taba, I gotta go , byes. Terror Trinka (talk) 19:23, 16 September 2011 (UTC)

Hello Ms Trinka.

I hesitate to ask this, but I wonder if you have been taking any umm ... Substances ... recently? That's not any kind of Problem I'm just trying to Understand your logic. Could you tell me if the Bat Excrement is in any way Narcotic?--Tolerance (talk) 20:27, 16 September 2011 (UTC)

Ms Trinka has hired me as her agent. She wants you to know Bat excrement is normally stinky but being a demi-god T.Taba poop is not that bad. She is very young and not very sophisticated since she basically sleeps in a cave with a bat most of the time. She would make a great Godess of erotic love although she claims 0 experiance. Perhaps a role as protector animal would be better with some limited stage appearances , perhaps Letterman or Leno ? is Art Linkletter still on ? P.S you never answered her question "do you have a big pole?" Hamster (talk) 04:55, 17 September 2011 (UTC) agent for giant cat lady

Godlike Positions Available

I have been asked to be a bit more clear about the godlike positions available. So in rough order of seniority. I intend to have an open pantheon with the free admission of new Gods and for existing gods to the the possibility of promotion within the pantheon.

• Father/Mother of the Gods. This is a sort of Chairman figure who exists, is highly respected, was active in the past but is now not very active. The sort of individual who is believed to exist but who doesn't actually involve themselves much in the actual running of things. For comparison I see this deity as akin to the deist God; Zeus; or Toulouse and the mods at Rationalwiki.
• Chief executive of the Gods. This is the hands-on deity who actually makes things happen in the real world. In the Christian Religion this is the position once undertaken by YHWH when he existed as a Murderous, Spiteful Smiter of the unbelievers, and thus was an individual respected, feared and hated in equal Measure. Now somewhat less active this deity might, in RW terms, be compared to User Human.

After these two we have the rest of the pantheon.

• The God/goddess of love and sex. This is a vital position in any religion but I am At a Loss to think of anybody who might fill the Role. Although traditionally a Female role there is nothing stopping a male deity applying.
• The God/goddess of war and destruction. Ishkabombom (see above), though an alien God, has significantly Impressed me and I am presently Minded to offer him the position.
• The God/goddess of indulgence and excess. (Think Ace here)
• The God of Confusion, ill Will and hatred. This is really The Adversary - the one who opposes. In the Christian Tradition that would be Satan. (I hesitate to refer to RW again but a sort of mixture of TK and Markus.)
• The God of Rational Thought and Logic. (I can't think of any Examples at the moment.)
• Master of the Underworld and the Departed.

Obviously there will be a number of other Significant Positions in the Pantheon.

• Finally we come to the Daemons and other Beasts. I'm really pretty open to all daemons and magical beasts. Assuming that magical powers are Present then I see no reason to not incorporate them. --Tolerance (talk) 20:21, 16 September 2011 (UTC)

FYI

Taba and Terror Taba got bored and decided that applying to your religion was too much like feeding the Maratrean's trollish tendencies. Sorry. sterile^talk 02:35, 18 September 2011 (UTC)

My Faith will maintain me in their Absence. Thank you for Caring.--Tolerance (talk) 19:32, 31 October 2011 (UTC)

Repent!

A sacred rat that will hurl rocks into the sky is not part of the teachings of The Landover Baptist Church which together with Mrs Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian is the only true church. Repent of this heretical belief and you may yet be saved! God is Lord (talk) 20:11, 31 October 2011 (UTC)

I believe that all faiths hold some Germ of Truth. Perhaps the Landover Baptist Church hold more Germs than others? Who are We to say?--Tolerance (talk) 21:28, 31 October 2011 (UTC)

How long do I have to edit constructively before I get all those nice sysop button? God is Lord (talk) 11:47, 10 November 2011 (UTC)

Christpedia

http://christpedia.wikinet.org/wiki/Main_Page

Here's the link to it for whenever you want to start working on it. Inquisitor Sasha Ehrenstein des Sturmkrieg Sector 17:49, 10 October 2012 (UTC)