| It doesn't stop|
at the water's edge
“”The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.
|—John Kenneth Galbraith|
“”I am an aristocrat. I love liberty, I hate equality.
|—John Randolph of Roanoke|
Vulgar libertarianism (otherwise known as "LOLbertarians", "brogressives", or "glibertarians") is a term used to refer to libertarians who approach that political philosophy with an altogether cynical attitude. It was coined by the "free market anti-capitalist" blogger Kevin Carson. In georgist tradition, vulgar libertarians are known as royal libertarians, a term coined by Dan Sullivan.
Hard-libertarians and Randians gild themselves as enlightened individuals most in tune with reason, when in reality, they are so full of shit it's leaking out of their ears: No matter how much they pretend to care about scientific evidence, 'moral clarity', etc. they're somehow perfectly willing to believe in the fantastical myths of limitless growth and limitless profit, that history needs to somehow stop in its tracks and move backwards to move forwards i.e. eliminate everything that's been gained with democratic government, placing all of the power into the hands of a few transcendent John Galt supermen, creating a situation that, in reality, would probably be akin to the inhuman power structures of ancient Egypt, or Putin's Russia that they pretend to hate but likely envy. They see no problem at all in letting capitalists use whatever shitty advertising tricks they can think of to hoodwink the public (fostering public irrationality is perfectly fine so long as it's only fucking things up for 99.9999% of the population).
 Kevin Carson on vulgar libertarians
“”Vulgar libertarian apologists for capitalism use the term "free market" in an equivocal sense: they seem to have trouble remembering, from one moment to the next, whether they’re defending actually existing capitalism or free market principles. So we get the standard boilerplate article arguing that the rich can’t get rich at the expense of the poor, because "that’s not how the free market works" — implicitly assuming that this is a free market. When prodded, they’ll grudgingly admit that the present system is not a free market, and that it includes a lot of state intervention on behalf of the rich. But as soon as they think they can get away with it, they go right back to defending the wealth of existing corporations on the basis of "free market principles."
 Vulgar libertarians as corporate mouthpieces
Vulgar libertarians are those who focus on those parts of a free-market policy that most benefit big business, such as:
- Privatization of land and commons
- Deregulation - though food truck operators whose only crime is competing with brick-and-mortar restaurants would certainly benefit as well.
- Corporate tax cuts - though US tax law has a 'bubble' in its corporate tax rate that a small business will notice but the Walton family can comfortably ignore.
- Anti-environmental policies, including global warming denialism.
- Free Trade, especially on the products the donors are importing/exporting (though it also has big benefits for businesses that couldn't exist under older regimes which enforced tighter regulation as well as trade restrictions, e.g. microdistilleries)
- Liberventionism: regime change, conducted by the U.S. military, all in the name of liberation. And buckets of aid to Israel and the Saudis "to fight ISIS", as well.
While ignoring other parts that would most benefit individuals and small businesses, such as:
- Civil liberties - NSA, Homeland Security, and DEA will each have a place in Libertopia. (Also, I am all for gay rights and interracial marriage, just don't expect me to bake a cake for you.)
- Legalization of drugs
- Meritocracy - Many libertarians deny the wage gap. It's the same with race: If you believe the world is a meritocracy and are presented with racial income disparity you either revise your views or come to the conclusion that black people are inferior.
- Open borders - brown people asking to exist is a threat to liberty.
- Tax reform - closing loopholes exploited by big business.
- Eliminating corporate welfare - unless it's going to corporations not funding your think tank..
Steve Milloy, formerly of the Cato Institute, now of Fox News, is a vulgar libertarian, in that his primary interest is in denial of scientific developments that might suggest a need for new regulations, such as global warming research and the dangers of tobacco smoking.
 Vulgar libertarianism vs. Beltway libertarianism
"Vulgar libertarianism" is somewhat similar to the insult of "Beltway Libertarianism" leveled at such think tanks as the Cato Institute and the Reason Foundation. Carson has accused some of these institutions of vulgar libertarianism; this might be expected, since (1) these think tanks are being funded by those noted beneficiaries of libertarian policies, Koch Industries and oil, tobacco, and other corporate interests and (2) Carson is being funded by that noted beneficiary of non-libertarian policies, the health care industry.
 See also
- r/Libertarian - Everything is slavery and rape, except slavery and rape which aren't all that bad.
- Vulgar Libertarianism at Kevin Carson's blog
- Debate at Cato Unbound over libertarianism vs. corporatism.
- ↑ Chomsky on American libertarianism vs. classical libertarianism
- ↑ http://www.cooperativeindividualism.org/sullivan-dan_are-you-a-real-libertarian-or-a-royal-libertarian-1998.html Are You A Real Libertarian? Or, a ROYAL Libertarian?
- ↑ Chris Bertram, "Let It Bleed: Libertarians and the Workplace"
- ↑ Roman Skaskiw, "Putin's Libertarians"
- ↑ Austin Petersen, "When Do Libertarians Support Military Invasions? Apparently When Russia Does It."
- ↑ Jon Lee Andersen, "The Unraveling", The New Yorker. (Bernard-Henri Lévy, when asked why he supported the intervention in Libya, says, “I don’t know! Of course, it was human rights, for a massacre to be prevented, and blah blah blah…”)
- ↑ Alexander LeCasse, "With eye on 2016, Rand Paul tries to block US aid to Palestinians", Christian Science Monitor.
- ↑ Sam Harris: "Bomb Muslims." Reddit: "Umf, that's so logical and rational, Sam. The world needs more people who want to bomb Muslims. It's such a brave and rarely seen opinion."
- ↑ John Stossel, "I just can't get that worked up about it", Reason 6.12.13.
- ↑ Rothbard, Murray, "Right-wing populism" (1992). Rothbard: "Crush Criminals. And by this I mean, of course, not "white collar criminals" or "inside traders" but violent street criminals – robbers, muggers, rapists, murderers. Cops must be unleashed, and allowed to administer instant punishment, subject of course to liability when they are in error."
- ↑ Shackford, Scott, "Libertarians, Gay Marriage, and Freedom of Association: A Primer", Reason 8.19.14.
- ↑ Chapman, Steve, "The Truth About the Pay Gap", Reason 9.19.10. ("For men and women who never marry and never have children, there is no earnings gap.")
- ↑ Rachael Grezler and James Sherk, "Equal Pay for Equal Work: Examining the Gender Gap", Issue Brief #4227 on Labor. 5.22.14. Even the Heritage Foundation, after attempting to deflate the gap as much as possible, still admits a 5 cent gap.
- ↑ Cavanaugh, Jeffrey, "Ferguson Reveals Racists In Libertarian Clothing", Mint Press News. 8.25.14.
- ↑ Rockwell Jr., Llywellyn H., on Rodney King, L.A. Times 3.10.91. Lewser: "But street criminals, as economist Murray N. Rothbard points out, have the time preference of depraved infants. The prospect of a jail sentence 12 months from now has virtually no effect."
- ↑ Ron Paul: The sole function of a libertarian government would be to keep dark people out!
- ↑ Feeney, Matthew, "'Pro-Freedom' Parties That Aren't on Immigration", Reason 2.13.14. You know libertarianism is on life support when it no longer seems strange that libertarian parties in Europe are all restrictionist.
- ↑ David Koch was a co-founder of Cato. Also see these funding reports: Cato, Reason
- ↑ Carson's profile