Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/December 2007

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  • Even people who don't know Lord of the Rings by heart know that The One Ring wasn't the only ring...
  • Haven't seen Karajou's signature move in a while: "This debate is over!" - "No, seriously!" (Riddle: What do you do if the liberal gets the last word? Revert it. Now you have the last word.)
  • What's the proper response to very challenging questions put forth in a logical and concise way? Apparently, it's to delete it, and ban the user, claiming that it's somebody else.
  • Apparently, this is what happens when "liberals control technology". Here I thought it was a good thing to question the government and ensure that it's following its own laws, and restrictions, and following due process. I guess that idea was wrong...
  • Conservative is back from his Christmas break, and he's either jet-lagged or *bleep*ing kidding: He asked PJR to create articles like "Creation Versus Evolution", "Arguments Against Evolution", or "Darwin's Theory of Evolution". The reply grinds down to the predictable "...bwah?"
  • Ed Poor - movie Mythbuster! (note that the terms in the equation in the first reference are not defined, which could cause problems for the "students" that CP is geared towards)
  • Only on the Trusworthy Encyclopedia can David S. Broder be considered a "famous liberal".
  • CP's Breaking News are like "Spot the x hidden errors" images: Let's see... a conservative complaining about guns... and the fact that the linked article explicitly mentions that the violence started "when the United States began fortifying its border after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks". Yup, definitely the fault of The Liberals.

"I've got it! If it weren't for liberal gun gontrol, someone could've SHOT THE DOG while it was MAULING A BABY."

Because news networks usually report every scuffle in the world, right?

  • Sudden outbreak of liberal behaviour on CP: Uncle Ed unprotects a swathe of articles and Andy approves! It's one small step for man...
  • Ever wonder why HelpJazz keeps getting the runaround for edit rights? This ([1] [2]) might clue you in.
  • "Sure, some people can be found who say they both believe in evolution and are Christian, just as one can find Americans who burn the American flag." --Andrew Schlafly
  • Martin Luther King? Malcom X? Charlie Parker? Duke Ellington? Jessye Norman? Richard Wright? Ralph Ellison? Nope, the only famous African-Americans are basketball players.
  • Andy, I appreciate your goal to be concise, but this one may really need some more explaining.
  • FightPerniciousSwarm gets banned for not using his real name. Because you know, using your real name is important, yo. Update: DanH apparently sees hidden messages in user names now. I knew I shouldn't have thrown away my Spidey Decoder Ring... Moar Update: FightPerniciousSwarm is back.
  • The poor, poor corporations!
  • Fox gets promoted to sysop, his third promotion in less than a week. Meanwhile, at the other end of the spectrum...
  • And another case of "Let's annoy all our editors, regardless of whose side they're on!": JakeC (author of Christian Domestic Discipline and the guy who made the Gun Control and Young Mass Murderers connection) gets a one-day block for this discussion - apparently after trying to use the same source Andy used on the front page.
  • Conservapedia community sense: Another editor leaves in disgust, and being the diplomatic sysop he is, Crocoite eagerly adds it to the "Parthian shot" article instead of, you know, trying to moderate.
  • The world according to Schlafly - "obesity is a bigger problem than starvation" and "mental anguish is a greater epidemic than material needs".
  • Discussion, Conservapedia style: Andy and a few random dudes kick off a discussion about the term "Creationist". Then, TerryH posts a complete rundown, which earns him a "WTF". Finally, Andy reaches a conclusion. And a foolish newbie still thinks that there is actually a discussion.
  • Conservapedia in an amazing display of brilliance note that the WP article for Conservative doesn't mention any specifics more appropriate to American Conservatism, which does cover the specifics mentioned. Remember folks, it's only appropriate for an encyclopedia if it's AMERICAN. (Ok, minus the gun control position, but shouldn't it be in the WP article anyways?) Note Well, well. Would you look at that?
  • Thanks to night-time (night in the US, that is) editing restrictions, the only ones editing CP during those hours these days are PJR, Crocoite, Fox, and Karajou. At the same time, people are still being denied editing rights, and several people with editing rights haven't edited at all in months. Brilliant! Update: Two members of the edit list are actually blocked and cannot edit anyway.
  • They get the name of the town wrong. And Rochester NH is not a "suburb".
  • Crime rates drop during the 8 years after gun control comes into effect? No connection - the crime rates dropped worldwide, anyway (no citation needed). Voters tend to the left, 11 years after gun control comes into effect? Definitely a connection because lack of guns causes emotional dependency on the government. Yo, PJR, if you wanna vent about Andy, just come here, make a sock, and rant away.
  • Got shovel? UPDATE:You didn't see anything Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain
  • Wait a second, did BrianCo just imply Jesus was a socialist?
  • Meritocracy in action: HelpJazz (stats as of now: 1152 out of 1655 are in the mainspace, and he got Block rights in September) won't get night-time edit rights because Andy doesn't "yet see a compelling need for overnight editing. Maybe with more substantive contributions and more of an explanation of the need then it can happen." Update: STFU and get back to work!
  • One of the effects of gun control? Genocide! This article will only get better with time.
  • SSchultz wishes Merry Christmas... and Andy manages to ruin even that.
  • Nope, not a joke; we're just THAT crazy...oh and don't ask questions.
  • According to Jose83, only liberals are obsessed with celebrities, as can be seen on these pages which reveal the liberal obsession.
  • Christianity outlasted Communism. Well, except for Vietnam, Cuba, China, North Korea, Laos, and every other communist political party within free countries.
  • Oh, my... PJR argues that there are cases with no clear evidence for gun control leading to an increase in crime rates (scroll down a bit). Good thing he's a sysop. Others would get a warning on their user talk page for including liberal bias like that. Update: "Much improved" by Andy... by not just reverting the paragraph, but actually reversing its original content. More: PJR tries to continue at tweaking.
  • Family-friendly? It must be cold in that theatre. (Also, note that "their" interpretation of "fair use" is even more lax than ours!)
  • Tony Blair could be king (or queen)? Funny, don't see his name here. (Maybe he's lucky # 1348?) Update: Andy explains it all: Literal interpretations are silly, since it's all about the spirit of the law...
  • Karajou gets mad. For what offense this time, you ask? Apparently SimonA asked him what his Political Compass results were.
  • Recent candidates added to the Republican Primary: Conservapedia and Fox News. On a side note, does it seem quite clear that they have no real understanding of the accepted definitions of neo-con?
  • It certainly is.
  • Apparently, "Andy" is insisting that a statement that was a slightly paraphrased quote from Rick Scarborough is false, and that there is no support for the claim. Thank God geeks for making Google. Also, how can "Rick" (is that his real name?) be a conservative unless he changes his name to "Scarburow"? Oh, that's right, CP acquiesced to Commonwealth spellings months ago.
  • Uh oh, Tash keeps asking uncomfortable questions and making indignant comments. Quoting Andy's wise words results in a block for making useless edits, but the actual reply is worse as it bluntly hints that now Tash may be in trouble if the questions keep up! Also, it appears that the only way to attract College Republicans is to offer them sysop powers, since free beer can't be downloaded.
  • CONCISE! That's 8568 clear, concise, trusworthy and edumacational articles. 500 bytes or less
  • Also late, but Conservapedia gets schooled about defamation and improper use of pronouns refering to transsexuals.
  • This news is a little late, but a "neutral" article does exists on Conservapedia, because it's impossible to argue with any of the facts on it: Gender identity disorder. It took me forever to draft that article, justifying each and every point with unquestionable facts.
  • Start the Ban Countdown (Update: Link changed to reflect what Karajou thinks of this entire Free Speech thing... But hey, no ban yet! Must be the Christmas Spirit hard at work!)
  • Cover your eyes! There are images on CP that are "probably not family friendly" - in this case, this one
  • I've just discovered that Wikipedia is still helpfully redirected to from Wackypedia.
  • This edit summary tells it like it IS, dammit!
  • TrueGrit's countdown to bannination... 3... 2... 1... Hammer time! and memory holed...
  • Darn those deceitful liberals!!--They never let up on their campaign to destroy Christmas! And by "leftists", of course, CP means "nut-job theocrats"
  • CP's definition of Omnipotence seems to be phrased exactly to work around all objections, leading to God having almost-kinda-not-quite-really unlimited power - and, all human suffering is caused by free will.
  • Ed Poor and Andrew Schlafly show their mastery of mathematics in these two edits.
  • According to Conservapedia, a brown bear is just the same thing as a grizzly bear. Only deceitful liberals would claim that an endangered North American subspecies isn't the same as a globally-distributed species. Update: It appears somebody finally got wise and fixed this with a truly concise article. More proof that CP reads RW.
  • Ah, nothing like a bit of cultural sensitivity mean-hearted bigotry. Good thing someone else changed it before Joaquin saw it.... And that the guy was blocked for that very edit.
  • Did they really just block someone who has been honestly "supporting" Conservapedia?[3][4][5][6] Notice how the blocking sysop editor accused himher of violation of the 90/10 rule, but she wasn't even close to violation. See Learn Together's very strict analysis, even after PJR (a real sysop) declared himher not to be in violation. (The editor did not intend to insult the site leader, however, but show that a positive force for CP should be kept around, no matter what rules they break.)
  • Not exactly new, but connected to Liberal Math: Check out how CP describes the Axiom of Choice in layman's terms
  • CP's newest sysop is....a user who registered 1 minute before being promoted. Meritocracy at work!
  • Not quite TK, but then who is? (thank the gods)
  • Nothing escapes the Spanish Inquisition watchful eyes of CP's owner, even hard to understand things like the politics surrounding the theory of relativity. Update!!! User:Physicsnut totally kicks ass and Andy still doesn't get it. Karajou offers a grovel, user leaves.
  • Math, much like mountains, is liberally biased. Leave it to Conservapedia to break this fact to you.
  • Support the President? Meaningless if you have not girded your loins!
  • I really can't figure out if CP is being overwhelmed by brilliantly subtle vandals or morons. For instance, today someone pointed out that a ruler is a type of tool.
  • Nothing big here, but Andy warns a user for too many edits on sexually related topics. Favoritism is a bitch.
  • You know the worst thing about homosexuals? They smoke.
  • Your 2¢? Wait a moment, you've got change coming.
  • I think he got it right the first time.
  • SimonA cites a truly brilliant source. Update Look! They do read us!
  • A cut-and-paste run to bring tears to Ed Poor's eyes. Someone might want to check out the good doctor’s contributions: his claims of having used his “copious course notes” look less solid when one sees that this is from here, this is from here, this is from here, and so on down the line.
  • User Dadsnagem is permabanned by Iduan after removing the claim that Nixon defeated Kennedy in the popular vote count of the 1960 Presidential election. For the record, Kennedy got 34,220,984 popular votes, and Nixon 34,108,157. Now there was some controversy about it at the time, but, if CP wanted to take a stand on the controversy, they could have said so explicitly. The whole thing can be looked up in DeceitfulLiberallyBiasedWikipedia.
  • You say Khomeini, I say Khameini, let's call the whole thing off...(note where page redirects from)...
  • A "Jewish rabbi." As opposed to, you know, those other, non-Jewish rabbis.
  • ZOMG NEW CONTEST!
  • Mountains have a liberal bias. Or, at least geology does.
  • Andy thinks no atheist has read the Bible. Presumably, if they had, they would've been convinced by the overwhelming reason (or burst into flames) of it all... hmmmm. Anyways, have you read the Bible? Tell us here!
  • Apparently Google hits correlate with a subject's merit. Well, Andy, in that case, we urge you to look at the #1 sponsored link when you Google yourself (or the #5 link when you Google "Conservapedia") - that is, unless Googling yourself is un-Christian.
  • Ten thousand new articles in five days? I don't think so, Sharon - and Andy agrees. But what's interesting is the HTML comment there: "adjusted for estimated deletions and calendar day stubs" - I thought Andy claimed that the frontpage count was accurate (as opposed to the "estimation" of the Stats page)... things are about as transparent as a block of lead right now... just the way CP likes it.
  • Ronald Reagan's legacy is... much in doubt. Note that this is a Conservapedia featured article, which is woefully incomplete. With such rigorous standards for "featured content," it's no doubt why Conservapedia is so trusworthy.
  • Apparently this is the proper tone for an encyclopedia.
  • Good news for homosexuals and bad news for atheists. It seems Conservative found a new hobby. The best part of it is where Conservative says that creationists tend to win debates with "evolutionists," because "evolutionists" refuse to debate them. Do you wonder why?
  • Mwuaaahah! Ha Hah! Hee hee! Oh noes! The Andy Schlafly openmindedness test: cp:Essay:Quantifying_Openmindedness Be sure to check the edit history, for 25 July, to see how Karajou and TerryH do on the test.
  • Following Rob's "Gay Bomb Would Have Prevented 9/11" idea, here is Andrew Schlafly's take: 9/11 could have been prevented if... a random passenger had had a gun!
  • Paging Dr. Freud! Conservative has a very important message for Andy about homoschooling. Update: Finger memory complications continue.
  • Start the bantimer on Iduan: [7][8]
  • Did Ed just call Andy a "nit-picking legal theorist?" Where's a planet-sized barnstar when you need one?
  • Wow. Just wow.
  • Maybe it's the Xmas er ah Christmas Spirit but it seems people are so helpful lately.
  • Reagan = new featured article. Sub-editors around the world buckle in and weep... Epic fail.
  • The new Quote Mines are here! The new quote mines are here!
  • This guy is interesting, and seems to have the ear of Schlafy also. Can he change things though?
  • As a wise Monkey once said.... It doesn't matter, it's in the past
  • The Bible Verse and Historical Quote that Andy once boasted about proved to be an impossible task for conservapedians and is no more.
  • You can't argue with logic like this. However, as I write this, RandolphC has probably already been banned.
  • I'm not much of a New Testament kinda guy. Is Mark 7:15 really about pooping?
  • Bethany logic: Of course we're going to keep presenting misleading, fraudulent and biased information on the front page. Nobody's perfect!
  • Nevermind the internet, it was rock music that influenced the Colorado shooter. As long as homeschooling is cleared of any blame. By the way, public schools are still at fault in every other case.
  • A user calls Andy out on another anti-anything but what he believes ideology.
  • Karajou "expands an article" by copying it from Wikipedia the same .gov source WP apparently copied from... (See source link at bottom) It's not new (Kara's been doing that gig for a while with countries), but it shows just how highly qualified the sysops are - it takes lots of skill to copy this much. ;)
  • Yeah, Andy, I'm sure the Eighth Circuit used the word "trolling".
  • According to Andy, the only views that exist are that a human is created at conception or at birth and no one argues otherwise. Except, you know, those millions who don't view a fertilized egg as a full human, but do take that view of an 8-month old fetus.
  • Maybe I'm just being a jerk, but why do they need the following redirects? How many Sarumans, Saurons, and Frodos can there possibly be?
  • CP's "Creations of God" category (category text: "Things made by God.") currently shows that YEC is wrong and that God didn't create the Earth (or the universe) after all: God's only creation as of right now is the "Human" "Homo Sapiens"
  • As bad as it is people still "choose" to be homosexual. God, it must be pretty damn good then, eh?
  • I'm being proactive with this one. Check back often with this discussion as it is sure to bring out the best in Aschlafly, Karajou, and any of the other classy CP editors. Already it is clear Kaltenbrunner Karajou, the literalist, can't even understand the concept of "hate crime".
  • This is nothing new or shocking. I just thought I'd throw it in for its ability to disturb rational people. Need a little more?
  • Homeschooling: Providing the modern world with its top scientists scholars mathematicians football players!
  • The world of cp:user:SlapHappy seems to be a very lawless place
  • "Unless George Bush, David Cameron and The Frickin' Queen of England stand here in front of me and tell me Dawkins is actually a Professor, I'm not having it!"
  • Debbie does Dallas, Karajou does Europe *hip-thrust* [1]
  • Karajou, the last great American and an expert in global pollution, even if his reading comprehension needs a minute to kick in...
  • The Golden Compass is a bust!!!!!!. Er, well, sort of, it's still at the top of the box office.
  • Andy's fan does Andy's work for him and is blocked and his silly rant is removed. But he may rant some more in one day. He is obviously inspired by the moon.
  • 'Wikipedia will be dead or unrecognisable within a year'. Andy lays down his One Year Plan. I'm off to the bookies.
  • Colorado's lax policy on gun control saved 100 lives, because, you know, that's the typical number killed in such shooting sprees.
  • Are you homosexual? Well you've got AIDS. (Here's the link to the Huckabee article referenced.)
  • The only information you can trust? Close your eyes, tap your ears and make it up by yourself, Andy says.
  • Andy speaks in tongues with this weird edit summary.
  • Sources? Who needs sources? Just counter by asking them for a source!
  • According to Andy's new essay, benefits of conservativism include: Allowing one to speak freely, and not in a self-serving manner; and rising above personal likes and dislikes; Enabling one to recognize "imposters" [sic].
  • Unfortunately, as yet very little information is known about the North American continent. Update: HelpJazz tries to make things look less retarded, but Karajou won't have any of that! After all, those are his empty sections.
  • Need evidence Andy reads RW constantly? One minute after this is mentioned on RW, it's deleted on CP. Nice one Edgerunner! Now make Andy bark like a dog!
  • Sometimes you just have to take pleasure in simpler, less sophisticated lulz
  • Genocide? Naaaaaaahhhhhhh. Just typical liberal fuss about nothing, says Andy. Andy knows.
  • Back to the Colorado shootings, Andy not only claims to ignore posts (but knows someone said "hypocritical", meaning he did read them) against him, but finds a new wide-range outlet to blame, the internet. Maybe WE caused it!
  • Conservapedia manages to stay abreast of affairs in foreign countries (36 years after the event).
  • Vulgar rap artists? Not allowed. Family friendly and such. It's best to stay away from hip-hop. Wait, hold on...we'll actually let the young 'uns idolize MIMS cuz he drops some tight rhymes!!! And his lyrics are a bastion of conservative values!
  • Ed poor corrects another liberal myth
  • Oh the power of political spin. A homeschooled gunman from a deeply religious background shoots churchgoers. Luckily, someone had a gun and could stop him! Connected: SSchultz updates the "Young mass murderers" article with factually correct info, but is reverted immediately because the guy doesn't fit Andy's definition of "young"... although he was the same age as the V-Tech shooter...
  • RobS goes above and beyond the call of stupid.
  • Rob exercises his knowledge of adjectives. Apparently, trying to appeal to Aschlafly's better nature doesn't just mean you're a hopeless optimist, it also means you're a COMMIE!
  • After a widespread call for proof of the vaccination-Autism link, Andy finally comes through with the proof: "thousands" of parents agree with him. Yes, nothing spells scientific certainty like upset parents ranting that "my son got vaccinated and now he has Autism!" And why did it only take 5 seconds for Aschlafly to find this link? (Hint: Andy is legal counsel to the AAPS.)
  • Andy calls for more guns to be added to the mix in Paris. Yeah. That'll calm things down.
  • In a masterpiece of circular "logic", Phillip J. Rayment tests possibly-imaginary beings for validity by seeing how they compare to...the Bible's account of what God can do.
  • A new editor who doesn't do anything suspicious is of course suspicious.
  • Jenkins gives Andy a taste of his own statistics.
  • So Ed's articles don't say much, but with 8 prepositional phrases in one sentence, they make fun parsing.
  • Not only does Ed Poor write very complete and useful articles, but, as evidenced by his edit summary, he researches them well too!
  • Don't tell anyone but Edna (hide my light under a bushel) Poor has made a few discreet edits. Luckily, his drum stub is far better than the article called drums, which was, of course, created by an RWian back in the days before the great purge.
  • Oh my sweet Jeebus... vaccines now have PLANETS in them? Update: Pointing this out will get you blocked on the 'Trustworty Encyclopedia'.
  • Surely this liberal, Freudian slip of an edit from Helpjazz won't pass the CP thought police. See also: crucifiction.
  • It doesn't matter what you say, it's your political beliefs that count
  • An unsigned comment from Wikimeister Auntie Edna shows s/he just doesn't understand the real issue of gun control.
  • Phase 1 of RationalWiki's Conservapedia Improvement Drive kicks off with this deep-mole edit in one of Assfly's pet articles. Unfortunately Edna hasn't comprehended the context and makes an irrelevant edit summary.
  • Hey, you starving millions, it's your fault for not having faith. There's no scarcity really.
  • Us girls are the cause of it all according to Ed.
  • No, hang on a sec Andy, you've got me really confused now? (Read the two preceding comments for context). [2]
  • 20 lives, including yours, depend on your wit and skill to solve dire situations with moral implications, what should you do? Pray Jesus! Also, it is "silly" to speculate about a situation like this, because it would "never happen".
  • Hmmmm, interesting. But I thought Global Warming was a myth (or if real, it was certainly not caused by increased levels of CO2). Oh, and if the prose seems a bit too polished for Joaquin, that's because it's stolen from yahoo.
  • "Uncle" Ed Poor risks the wrath of Scotsmen world-wide with this edit summary
  • Now we have the definitive word on why science is useless, thank you PJR.
  • Karajou got it wrong in the first place, MichaelGaribaldi poked some fun and was reverted by Joaquin Martinez. And still they can't spell etymology. Update: Claude saves the day.
  • Andy removes all memory liberal bias of the American Indian Genocide, and Ed Poor tries to burn the evidence, along with other stuff.
  • Conservapedians hone their logical fallacies debating skills
  • YAY ANOTHER SHOOTING!!! This student also went to a public school, so clearly that was the cause of what he did.
  • Conservative messed up his articles after he deleted some of his crap, and Jenkins started to clean it up. Which, for some reason, bought a block, and a reply from justifiably enraged Jenkins.
  • A lot of good stuff here. Ranging from how Dinosaurs aren't millions of years old to how an Atheist claiming to be happy is exactly the same as a Smoker who claims to be in good shape.
  • "Republicans Report Having Better Mental Health Than Democrats...The survey found that 58 percent of Republicans polled reported having excellent mental health. Only 38 percent of Democrats and 43 percent of Independents reported the same." Indeed, Crockoshite, self-reported results are certainly a fool-proof method of determining the actual mental health of a population...
  • In perhaps the most deceitful comment ever uttered, RobS calls himself "extremely broadminded & flexible".
  • A new page on young mass murders, complete with a "liberal response" column (mewonders that the conservative responses are). Apparently wearing black is a belief as well.
  • With an epic amount of chutzpah, Andy berates Wikipedia for having a secret forum open only to the elite, and for blocking a large range of IPs in order to block a single user. Perhaps his real concern is Wikipedia stealing his playbook?
  • Move over, Babelfish! Conservapedia is the new site for Spanish translations!
  • In true pathetic fashion, the tragic event of a troubled teen shooting rampage is capitalized. Unfortunately, entertainment springs forth. (Too soon?)
  • Greg scores a 34/35 in Schlafly's exam and compliments his liberal teacher, as any good sportsman, Schlafly does too. Wait, did he say LIBERAL? no exam for you, interrogation pending. Update: Greg stands firm and doesn't backpedal. Update: Andy still suspects liberal deceit.
  • Karajou fills TK's boots and lets it be known CP doesn't do morals.
  • What we have all come to respect conservapedia for, articles just left blank for over five days;[9] [10] [11] [12]
  • If a supporter of Hillary Clinton submits a question for a Republican debate, then it's breaking news. If a man claims to be a suicide bomber and takes hostages at Hillary Clinton's headquarters, it's not breaking news.
  • So begins the circling of the wagons.
  • Conservative's latest addition to his "Gays are evil" magnum opus shows that he agrees with Ahmadinejad in at least one way: there are no gays in Iran.
  • Andy tersely concisely answers a high school student's questions about Conservapedia. Highlights include his assertion that blogs are "dinosaurs" (but only liberal blogs should realize this), CP has been too accommodating of liberals, and their ridiculous rants about liberal style et al can be "scientifically tested" (what he doesn't mention is that they fail the scientific test).
  • Blocked for LIEberal censorship.
  • Given CBC's last article on Conservapedia, I'm sure their latest documentation will be glowing.
  1. ↑ Amongst the non-homeskooled set, "things getting in the way" are collectively referred to as barrier methods.
  2. ↑ This is funny, but only if you treat operators in English sentences as having the same associativity as the C language. Otherwise, it's just lame. We can't wait for Andy's Critical thinking in Math course.
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