Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?

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Keep up to date with what is going on at the extremist blog Conservapedia with our rolling reports of the bizarre happenings there. We report; you decide which entries make it to the Best of Conservapedia! If you are contributing for the first time please read the instruction manual. For the older entries, see the archives.

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What is going on?

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October 2019

4Trump, in his great & unmatched wisdom, decides to enrage the jurors in his impending impeachment trial. Blackout drunk on the Kool-Aid, Andy declares victory: Massive setback to neocons and other globalists: Trump is pulling U.S. troops out of Syria.img

September 2019

9 Andy: The Pagan NFLimg shows how little they care about the sport by firing an accused rapist.img

August 2019

25 Andy: Liberals hate chess, because feminists can't explain why all the best players are men.img

July 2019

16Nobs turns the stupid up to 11: Science is little different than reading the past performance of a horse at the race track. It gives you good clues, but can't forecast if the horse is going to twist an ankle today.img

June 2019

24Andy duz law, gets pwned: Accordingly, Plaintiff Andrew Schlafly's Second Amended Complaint with Class Action is DISMISSED, in its entirety, with prejudice.
12Conservapedia attemptsimg to set itself up as a Very Serious Publication and is therefore very truthful. How dare we use humor of any sort in our articles!

May 2019

7"'Lime Green' was named after limes... The Bible doesn't mention anything about lime green."img Thanks, Conservapedia. Fascinating information.

April 2019

6Andy draws the obvious parallel between the Dow Jones and Mainpageleft:img "The strength of this basket of these 30 stocks as an investment tool is in the additional productivity of having multiple approaches to a challenge. Our Mainpageleftimg, with its collection of roughly 135 key entries, illustrates a similar approach to developing helpful insights."
32The recent release of a black hole photograph goes over with Overlord Schlafly about as well as one might expectimg. Using coloration to show infrared is "dishonesty", and his misquoting Stephen Hawking naturally proves his point that his god is more provable than black holes. So, where was that photograph of God again?

March 2019

5Question Evolution is back!img, along with  K e n  D o l l 's claim to be a team of editors!
8 Our very own pet Conservapedian and world class bullshitter writes an article of his usual encylcopedic standard on the Christchurch terrorist attack.img Funny how, despite calling it a left wing attack, his subconscious won't let him call it terrorism.
11According to  K e n  D o l l , atheism is apparently linked to Alzheimer'sConservlogo late april.pngimg. Seriously, how the actual fuck did he come up with this?!

February 2019

16Setback for atheism: Saint Valentine's Day increases in popularity.img Andy sets the bar for parodists even higher.
Article on "Paganism": In modern times, pagan rituals include the Super Bowl, certain public school events, and even misnamed holidays like "President's Day."img
Article on "Demonic": An prominent element of uncertainty, as found in football, seems to enable demonic influences to thrive.img (FSTDT link)
 K e n  D o l l  PRESENTS ...
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About John Wayne's Bowels*
(*But Were Afraid to Ask)
"Gentlemen, John Wayne's bowels were as straight as an arrow. All true conservatives have straight bowels. Did John Wayne coroner's report show any gay bowel syndrome? No autopsy was ever done on "The Duke" because nobody ever challenged the straightness of John Wayne's bowels."img
See also: Inoculation against homosexuality

January 2019

\tfrac{1}{\sqrt{2}} \left ( |0\rangle_A \otimes |1\rangle_B - |1\rangle_A \otimes |0\rangle_B \right )
Several parables in the Bible foreshadow the insight of quantum entanglement about paired photons having opposite spin, by contrasting two men in their relationship with God.img The Prodigal Son contrasts two brothers, two churchgoers are contrasted in Luke 18:9–14, and two brothers are further contrasted in Luke 21:28-31. (FSTDT link)
24 VargasMilan makes irony meters explodeimg everywhere. Surely he is not a deep cover troll?
19Damn. Killer of Davis, CA cop was not a Muslim. But California has legal pot, so that must be it.img
40Conservative surpasses 200,000 editsimg, making him responsible for around 13.6% of all edits on Conservapedia (1,470,640 total).
See also: Conservapedia Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (COCD)
41Increasingly liberal! Andy marches Mormonism out into the parade groundimg, rips offs its epaulettesimg and breaks its sword across his kneeimg.