Essay:Why Do Non-Conservatives Exist?

From RationalWiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Essay.svg This essay is an original work by SuperJosh.
It does not necessarily reflect the views expressed in RationalWiki's Mission Statement, but we welcome discussion of a broad range of ideas.
Unless otherwise stated, this is original content, released under CC-BY-SA 3.0 or any later version. See RationalWiki:Copyrights.
Feel free to make comments on the talk page, which will probably be far more interesting, and might reflect a broader range of RationalWiki editors' thoughts.

Original Conservapedia article: Why Do Non-Conservatives Exist?

This article by is located under the Conservapedia "Mystery" namespace, as the existence of non conservatives is a well established mystery.


Conservative principles are based on reason. So why do non-conservatives still exist? Here are some reasons:

"Conservative principles" is a fairly general statement, but we're assuming a Conservapedian is being referred to here, typically a white American male, in love with guns, homophobic, against affirmative action, supportive of women in their natural habitat (a kitchen), and generally being "open minded" to new concepts.

Statistical Anaylsis[edit]

(It says "Estimates" at the top of the page, so there's no actual proof of the figures here, but it's definitely right anyway, so I wouldn't worry. All REASONABLE "estimates.")

Societal bias...[edit]

30%: did not hear about conservative principles, their logic and full benefits until after they made up their mind and, perhaps due to pervasive societal bias, refuse to reconsider

This sounds about right. The 30% figure is obviously a good estimate of the lack of people's knowledge of general right wing awesomeness. Conservapedia's conservativism does put forward some exceedingly good logical and rational arguments. Simply see our article Conservapedia:Best of Conservapedia for the great logic of Conservapedia.

You simply refuse the truth![edit]

15%: lack of desire to find the truth, and a greater desire in gaining attention, praise by liberal teachers, getting along by going along, and not standing up to liberal bullies

This is obviously right. There are numerous examples of liberal bullies ("I'm sure lots of studies confirm that prayer is good for mental health. Have you looked yet? It's obvious." From the words of the big numer one himself, as long as you're sure of something, it's correct.) and people are just so damn lazy the refuse to find the truth, simply preferring to sit on the couch and vote democrat! And rather than conform to a conservative viewpoint and get praised, they'd rather conform to goddamn liberal teachers and get praised! The CHEEK of them!

Memories of the past...[edit]

15%: refuse to let go of their past, especially their past mistakes and image

Valid point. Sound argument. Non-conservatism is a mistake. If there's one thing to be learnt from history, it's that any kind of society in which only one single ideology is accepted and everything else refuted has always worked successfully.

Traditional conservative...[edit]

10%: fooled by the demonizing of conservatives and mistakenly feel that conservative benefits are available only to those who are from an intact family or privileged background

Another sound argument. Conservatives get knocked all the time in the media. Any and every media output in the world is obviously outspokenly liberal and always quick to demonise conservatives.

A little self indulgence...[edit]

10%: refuse to rise above their personal temptations, often self-destructive, and hate conservatives who criticize their self-indulgent behavior

Yeah, that's right. You non-conservatives are all self destructive and self indulgent. Ever read a book? It's science. Why hasn't anyone put this forward before!?

The unemployed...[edit]

10%: bitterly unemployed, or having a salary or benefits that conservatives would reduce, such as public school teachers, and a refusal to rise above self-interest

Because conservatism isn't based on self interest at all. Not the refusal of basic human rights to gays, not the idea to execute criminals rather than take the time to try and rehabilitate them, not the belief that you're only doing all of this because you'll be rewarded with eternal life, not the so called protection of the middle class, not the helping those who already have the means to help themselves, not the refusal of decent healthcare because of a fear that it makes you a communist. Nope. The poor, the unemployed, the welfare state, the ill, they're the lazy fucks.

"He's not a conservative, he's a very naughty boy!"[edit]

5%: were told off or disciplined once by a conservative, often a parent or ex-spouse, and harbor a grudge or refuse to rise above the animosity

Er, yeah! Obviously this accounts for 5% of it! Damn those adult conservatives ruining conservatism for the rest of us!

You are an antichrist, you are an anarchist...[edit]

5%: like an anarchist, genuinely want to believe in and propagate destructive ideas

Sound reasoning once again. 5% of the general population generally want chaos. Ever seen Fight Club? Or the Dark Knight? It's science. Or hollywood. Whatever.

What Triggers Reconsideration of Liberal Beliefs?[edit]

"How to we defeat the evil liberals?" I hear you asking. Don't worry, I've found us a rational explanation on Conservapedia!

More estimates!

Goat Child rearing...[edit]

25%: raising or teaching children, and realizing how destructive liberal values are to many of them

Obvious argument. The downfall of society is accountable entirely to liberals. Conservative values are ALWAYS successful when teaching children. Just look at the saviour of American Conservatism Andrew Schlafly! He was raised in a devout Christian household and he's loved by anyone and everyone who's heard his beautiful name.

Biblical literalism...[edit]

20%: a religious conversion followed by taking the Bible to heart

Follow literally everything in the Bible and the Ten Commandments - ratified by the US Congress over two hundred years ago - and you can't go wrong. There's nothing contradictory or nonsensical in it, so just follow it all!


15%: a loss of a loved one that resulted from accepting or promoting liberal values, as in losing a loved one to crime caused by pornography, drug addiction, gambling, etc.

Can't tell you how many times I've papercut myself looking at porn mags, and I'm so happy I converted! So if God decides to take someone you love for being a liberal, that's his way of trying to get closer to you!

Conservative conversion...[edit]

10%: a new friendship with someone who is conservative, and realizing how much good flows from the conservative values[1]

The example cited being Ronald Regan's friendship with his conservative father in law, this is more than enough undeniable proof; Regan is said to represent to 10% of the American population which is where this statistic comes from. And even as if you NEED any further proof, just LOOK how many people Schlafly has converted with his insights!

The evil impact of liberalism...[edit]

10%: simply by maturing and seeing liberalism's impact around them, and realizing what they were taught as youth was wrong

Yeah, young liberalism is wrong. Once again the evil left forcing their belief on schoolchildren, as opposed to Christian Conservatives who allow their children to make up their minds for themselves.

The truth (again)...[edit]

10%: a desire to learn the truth, and a dislike for those who mislead

Yep. That's right. Liberals are liars. They mislead, teach falsehoods, and force science, atheism and homosexuality on America's youth.

Conservatism vs addiction...ism...[edit]

5%: using conservative values to overcome an addiction, and then realizing the benefits of conservative values in many other ways

Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12 step programme is based on Christianity. [1] Obviously, you have no control over how much you drink, God's punishing you. What more proof do you need?


5%: taking a truthful course in economics, or learning it in the workforce[2]

This is relevant. A nice, homeschooled economics course free of liberal bias and professor values'll sort you out.

Cultural indoctrination[edit]

"Brainwashing and deceit..."[edit]

They [filthy liberals] pride themselves on doing well in school or reading the newspaper, can't accept that what they were taught was incorrect or biased.

Yeah, that's right. Liberal media at it again.

Dangerous professors who impose their opinions upon vulnerable youth.

Hippy professors forcing their beliefs on you. Conservapedia lets you think for yourself and doesn't force a viewpoint on you!

Television programs posing as comedies, such as South Park, Family Guy, and The Simpsons, which inject liberal beliefs and mock conservative values

Comedy Central at it again! They love abortion and gayness! When will the liberals learn that if you've been raped you MUST keep the baby, and if you're gay, you DESERVE a savage beating, because as Christians it's our right to do this!

Exposed to incorrect liberal ideas throughout education. Standard American kindergartens up to the fourth grade. Wastes the potential of most children—does not expose them to foreign languages and other learning tasks their minds are obviously and mysteriously suited for. All helping to make them think they need liberal man-made structures that in fact limit their potential in a self-defeating sort of cycle.


Indoctrination by liberal churches which have a disproportionate focus on biblical passages that appear to support liberal positions, eg. the adulteress story, the disciples holding everything in common, etc.

And they love gay marriage too! What kind of Christians are these that support the right of all people as equal? Disgusting...

A blind obsession to be famous, act and imitate the ways of their famous idols, to absorb their ideals as their own.

Hollywood values inflicted on the American youth again. The bastards.

Failure to realize that modern science and modern wealth are the result of historical processes set into motion by God-fearing Christian Conservatives like Blaise Pascal, Robert Boyle, Isaac Newton, and James Maxwell. (When the obvious importance of Christianity to these scientific figures' everyday lives comes up in an academic situation, dangerous professors—liberal historians and liberal scientists—have been known to label it as "some mental disorder".)

Revisionist historians opening an old can of worms. Can't they just accept that we got to where we are today as a result of religion?

Elementary through high school textbooks having appalling and reprehensible omissions on the basic facts of American life (religion, marriage, politics, and business)[3]

As opposed to Mr Schlafly's in-depth review book. [2] [3]

For decades Universities have discriminated against hiring conservatives, especially social conservatives and religious believers.[4] This has resulted in most college graduates being exposed to liberals prejudiced against conservatives and conservative thought. These graduates become the teachers and other professionals who are unwitting soldiers in liberalism's battle against a Christian Reformed, Roman-Catholic/Anglican/Orthodox, obedient-to-God reality.

It's all a sick and twisted liberal cycle, as opposed to a healthy and straightforward conservative cycle.

"No exposure..."[edit]

Current fashions in American professional behavior make expressions of Christian faith awkward in the workaday world.

They do as well!

Increasing zone of publicly funded anti-religious fanaticism (e.g., no prayer in public schools)

The liberals are taking classroom prayer away. We need to bring it back so these children can be indoctrinated introduced at an early age!

Spectacle of entertainment industry (e.g., movies and T.V.) cuts into traditionally popular Christian church social activities

TV corrupting youth again. That's why we're trying to censor it as much as possible!

Most univeristies and hospitals have forgotten or have been forced to deny (to get various grants and even retirement benefits for their professors) their religious roots. Catholic affiliated institutions remain one of the few exceptions (few or possibly no other body of Christians can make legitimate claims of offering modern Pastoral care as the Roman Catholic church)

The politically correct movement forcing Christianity out of hospitals.

"Peer pressure..."[edit]

They have liberal friends, and want their approval or acceptance.

Liberals upon liberals upon liberals. Forcing liberalness everywhere. Conservatives simply don't do that!

They live in a predominantly liberal state or community and fear rejection from said community.

Yep. That's true. If you're a conservative in, say, Hollywood, a place rife with sexual disease and liberalness, you try to fit in, whereas if you're gay and living in Texas, you'll be accepted for whoever you are.

"Systemic bias..."[edit]

Some people are inherently irrational, and are thus driven to liberal ideology.

Whereas some people are inherently rational and driven to conservative ideology.

Their job and salary, such as working for public schools, depends on keeping conservatives out of power.

That's right. Liberals segregate conservatives from real society. Conservatives do not segregate liberals from real society.

Media bias acts to caricature conservatism, making it seem unpalatable, conditioning people to reject its teachings.

As opposed to caricatures of liberals which are often favourable. Just see the caricature's of Gordon Brown at the moment! They LOVE that guy! And let's not forget that one of Obama on the New Yorker!

Schools reward politically correct, liberal answers on tests.

See the Extra Credit section at the bottom of Mr Schlafly's World History Midterm Exam for some good, upstanding conservative propaganda test questions.

Negative focusing by the media highlights personal flaws of conservatives, driving people to choose to identify with liberals rather than be categorized with those traits.

Whereas Conservapedia's news segment frequently cites mistakes by both liberals AND conservatives. And it shows utmost respect to their President.

Liberal Characteristics[edit]

"Poor abstract thinking..."[edit]

They have trouble understanding some of the slightly abstract concepts in conservatism, such as "more guns, less crime," and "less taxes, more revenue."

Yeah. Liberals are generally pretty thick and talk in disjointed, caveman sentences. "Me liberal! Me love progressive tax and gun control!"

They are more comfortable discussing simple issues like race and poverty than complex issues like globalism.

And they're scared when they know they're wrong. Stupid, thick liberals.

Intellectual myopia - failure to heed the long-term consequences of ideological positions that seem beneficial in the short term.

Always looking in the short term those liberals. They need to think ahead.

Stereotyping: They knew a conservative whom they disliked for some reason, and tar all others with the same brush.

"For some reason," many liberals dislike Andrew Schlafly! I know it's crazy, but it's true! They're using him as a skidmark benchmark for conservatives!

Ignorance: politics isn't a priority for some people. Without any wish to learn to think for themselves, some liberals don't bother to think through what's right, and just go with what's "cool."

This is entirely true. In no way whatsoever is Conservapedia considered "cool."

"Close minded..."[edit]

They made up their mind before hearing conservative principles, and will not reconsider their views.

That's right. They only listen to one side of the argument.

They have something criticized by conservatives in their personal background, and feel compelled to defend it rather than let it go.

More proof here (like you need any, they're so RIGHT!). Mr Schlafly is always prepared to let things go; when wrong, he admits it!

Slavish adherence to the ideals of liberal parents

Liberal parents forcing their ideas on their kids again. Conservatives wouldn't do that!


Non-conservatives demonstrate just how prone mankind is to arrogance.

Yeah, cuz conservatives aren't arrogant at all (see Andrew Schlafly's first reply displaying conservatives lack of self obsession.)

An admiration for historical figures whom liberals claim were liberals.

Fact. There were no liberals in existence before the founding of the Democratic Party. That's how it was, and that's how it is.

A desire for large government inculcated by personal weakness and reluctance to take personal responsibility.

Yep. Society is obsessed with diverting blame upon others. Conservapedia is not guilty of this; when they are wrong, they admit it!

Impressionable individuals buying into Bush derangement syndrome, and reacting with emotion rather than reason.

Bush was SMART, dammit!

Reliance on charisma: Charismatic leaders trading on image, rather than experience, can dupe the unsuspecting.

Also true. Mr Schlafly has in no way shown any significant charismatic skills, and so uses the internet to bullshit homeschooled kids get his rightful message across!

"Self-destructive or contrarian behavior..."[edit]

Some choose to do what is irrational.

Yep. This is true. Some people just do this.

Use of mind-altering drugs, which encourages one to become a liberal to reconcile the cognitive dissonance, or dulls mental acuity resulting in mindless conformity.

Conservatism and christianity is in no way mindless conformity to a certain way of thinking.

Sexual experimentation to make up for lack of self-esteem, often with multiple partners, with partners of the same gender, or in public places

Loose people are depressed and alone. Fact. Nothing to do with the fact that sex is fun.

Unthinking rebellion against conservative parents.

As opposed to rational conservatism with parents and fitting in with a wider community in general... "dulls mental acuity resulting in mindless conformity..." hmm...

Determined to prove their "independence of mind" by denying authority

They think they don't need authority, but they DO!


All in all, the mighty Conservapedia has resolved another mystery! They should have their own detective show! Schlafly Doo and the Conservapedia Gang! Unravelling the mysteries of liberal deceit tactics and such.