Fun:Conservapedia, The Musical/How Lovely to be a Schlafly

This Conservapedia-related article is of largely historical interest and is no longer the focus of RationalWiki today. Conservapedia (and religious fundamentalism to an extent) was a major focal point in the early history of RationalWiki, but long ago ceased coming up with new ways to appall and amuse. Our energies are now spent debunking other, fresher examples of pseudoscientific claims, authoritarianism, and deceit. For RationalWiki's less ancient content, try the Best of RationalWiki.

Phyllis
When you're only a Kennedy
Having to deal with liberals all year,
You doubt you will ever be
As lucky as if you're a Schlafly,
Where your morals are clear, and you have no fear
Of not having to ever see

The women
How lovely to be a Schlafly
Where a woman knows her place.
How lovely to be brought up
To serve with style and grace.

The men'
How lovely to be a Schlafly
Where men are trained to lead,
And taught that if anyone gets in our way
Jesus will make them bleed.

All
It's wonderful to feel
The way a Schlafly feels
When the Eagle Forum sends you
Into joy, you're head over heels.

Andy
How lovely to be a Schlafly
And just have one job to do.
To brainwash homeschoolers and teach them,
And then, when you are through
You've made them the creationists you want them to be,
And model conservatives, just like me.

All
How wonderful to know
The things a Schlafly knows.
That all blacks are prone to violent crime
And you can pick out a Jew by his nose.

How lovely to be a Schlafly
And protect good ol' Christian values,
And always be fighting the good fight
Against all the liberal news.
How lovely to not be enlightened and free.
How lovely to be a Schlafly like me.