Fun:Conservapedia, The Musical/Little Known Facts

This Conservapedia-related article is of largely historical interest and is no longer the focus of RationalWiki today. Conservapedia (and religious fundamentalism to an extent) was a major focal point in the early history of RationalWiki, but long ago ceased coming up with new ways to appall and amuse. Our energies are now spent debunking other, fresher examples of pseudoscientific claims, authoritarianism, and deceit. For RationalWiki's less ancient content, try the Best of RationalWiki.

Andy
Do you see that thing?
It's called a fir tree.
It's holobaramin is the trees.
And God made it, just the way we see it now.

Sharon
I never knew that before. That's very interesting.

Andy
Do you see this rock?
It is a rock.
It will never ever ever evolve
Into a human.
And also it's less than 6,000 years old

Sharon
Wow, this is all really fascinating stuff.

A Scientist
Now Andy, I don't mean to interefere, but-

Andy
And see this law?
The second of thermodynamics?
It disproves evolution
But they won't admit it.
And you know how we
Have this thing called morality?
Evolution denies that
So it must not be true.

Sharon
Is that so?

Andy
That's right. All those people who believe in
Evolution do it just to avoid having to believe in God
And take accountability for their actions.

A Scientist
Oh, good grief.

Andy
You know this thing
Called radiometric dating?
It is unreliable,
It can't be trusted.
And because of that
Lack of evidence
We know the earth
Is less than 6,000 years old.

Do you see that gap
Called the Grand Canyon?
It was made, in a day
By the Great Flood.
We know this because the Bible says it's so.

A Scientist
Andy, how can you say that?! I'm sorry, but I can't stand idly by and listen to-

Andy
And way up there,
The little stars and planets
Were made in a day,
Like the bible says.
And in the night
we can see them shining,
Because the speed of light
Has decayed.

A Scientist
Now Andy, I know that's wrong. The speed of light is constant in a vacuum and you have no evidence to say it was ever faster than we know it is now.

Andy
We know the speed of light must have decayed, because otherwise we wouldn't be able to see all these stars that were created less than 6,000 years ago by God!

A Scientist
Oh, good grief!

Sharon
Andy, why is a scientist banging his head against that tree?

Andy
To come in contact with God's creation.
The world is less than 6,000 years old.
Always believe what you're told
As long as it's coming from me.
These are little known facts
That now
You know! (Oh, and always remember to TRUS ME...)