Fun:Conservapedia, The Musical/Why Can't the Atheists?
|
This Conservapedia-related article is of largely historical interest and is no longer the focus of RationalWiki today. Conservapedia (and religious fundamentalism to an extent) was a major focal point in the early history of RationalWiki, but long ago ceased coming up with new ways to appall and amuse. Our energies are now spent debunking other, fresher examples of pseudoscientific claims, authoritarianism, and deceit. For RationalWiki's less ancient content, try the Best of RationalWiki. |
Karajou (gazing in disgust at all the new posters who refuse to proclaim the inerrancy of the Bible)
Look at them, their minds are in the gutter,
Condemned by every liberal word they utter.
By rights they should be taken out and hung,
For refusing to own a Bible and a gun.
Random Conservapedia Poster
...but don’t you think that Jesus would object to owning a gun?
Karajou (horrified)
Heavens! What a thought!
This is cause for massive consternation;
It’s all the fault of public education!
TK
Oh, Karajou, I think you picked a poor example.
Karajou
Did I?
Liberal websites here and there:
Quoting Dawkins everywhere.
Spouting atheist lies just as they wish!
This one went to public school?
Clearly, he must be a fool!
He thinks man evolved out of a fish!
Hear a Democrat, or worse,
Hear a physicist converse,
I'd rather hear a choir singing flat.
Hellbound for their Darwinism,
Just like this one!
Random Conservapedia Poster
Naturalism!
Karajou
I ask you, sir, what sort of word is that?
We have to keep these atheists in their place,
Make sure that they don’t dare to show their face.
Why can't the Atheists teach their children how to pray?
Their false “objective science” should simply go away!
If you thought as they do, sir,
Instead of the way you do,
Why, you’d be a Godless commie, too!
An atheist's way of speaking absolutely classifies him,
The moment he talks he makes all true
Americans despise him.
Their evil falsehoods should be banned for good, you bet!
For only the pious get to set
A good example to people who
Don’t have a lot between their ears!
We keep the masses moral by playing on their fears!
We need to reach a point where logic completely disappears!
In our homeschool class, we haven't used it for years!
Why can't the Atheists simply kowtow and obey?
They need to understand that
Creation took one week!
And anything which contradicts
The Bible must be banned!
The Bible’s a bit too liberal, actually,
Just ask our fearless leader, ASchlafly!
I find their talk of science both confusing and quite frightening.
Their viewpoints are all backwards,
They should be struck down by lightning!
For they won’t acknowledge it was all made in six days!
Why can't the Atheists,
Why can't the Atheists learn to pray?