Fun:Corona virus conspiracies
PSA: This is a parody and nothing more. Do not take this bunk I spew as something I literally believe. I am making this for comedic purposes. This has been a public service announcement from Your Unquestioned Zombie Lord. Be sure to add extra conspiracies
Note- This is not yet complete
Aliens Created The Virus To Trigger Artificial Evolution
Our extraterrestrial creators believe that humanity can no longer evolve on its own so they created the SARS Coronavirus as means of artificial evolution. They intend for us to become an intergalactic species and infection is salvation. Here is how it works-
- The aliens released the virus in China because the Chinese were the first people on Earth. The genetic makeup of the Chinese people is unique and will provide the means of infection.
- A percentage of people dying is necessary for this
- Mismanagement of the pandemic will allow the spread of infection
- Panic is needed as adrenaline is needed for the virus to take full effect.
- As the pandemic subsides the human brain will evolve
Jews are using chemtrails to spreading the virus
A rabbi in Israel developed the virus to kill all non-Jews so they can take over the world! There is proof everyone! This rabbi went to China where he initially released the Coronavirus. The virus did not spread very well among people in China so he unleashed the virus in Japan but it still did not spread well. Finally the rabbi bribed airlines with beer, cigarettes and chicks once it ended. Planes were equipped with virus laced jet fuel to effectively spread the virus.
This is how the virus is spreading sheeple- WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
COVID-19 is a demon
The demon known as COVID-19 was released from Hell during a Satanic Ritual in China to destroy humanity. The COVID-19 demon will turn us away from God, accept Evolution and homosexuals. We must banish the demon with the power of Jesus Christ hallelujah!
The COVID demon has possessed the Chinese people, turning them into flesh eating zombies that will take over the world.
If someone is possessed, do the following:
- Wave a crucifix in front of the possessed person
- Read a Bible verse, does not matter cause it is all the same holy stuff
- Give the possessed a pamphlet on the truth of gay people
- Donate $1000 dollars to Bob Jones University or Pensacola Christian College
Time is running out and the Fundie schools need new football uniforms and one of the pastors needs a sports car! Hallelujah!