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Linux is a Communist plot to undermine Microsoft. If Microsoft fails, America fails!

If we allow free software the next thing you know there will be free beer, then free vodka. The Russkies will have us all drunk, then watch out. In between frying America's brains on the Beatles and fluoride in the water, and frying our livers on vodka, Communist hackers will have free rein to subvert the entire world with Linux. Linux has already become very common in mobile phones and similar applications, and has tainted quite a bit of Internet traffic.

Please help the U.S. win the War on Terror by reporting anyone running this rouge operating system to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security right away so they can be put on the no-fly list.

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