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Paradise is . . .

  • . . . the name of several towns and villages. Among them are:
    • A township located on US 30 near the town of Intercourse in Pennsylvania Dutch (Amish) Country. It takes about six minutes for a modern person to go from Intercourse to Paradise. Head west on the Old Pike, then veer left on Old Leacock Road. If you don't make the turn, you'll end up in Bird In Hand. And don't go too fast or you'll go right through it. In olden times it took a lot longer to get there. The Amish still need about an hour to get there. (Pennsylvanians think all of this is funny. Just humor them.)
    • A town on Lake Superior in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Appropriately, Paradise is a long way from Hell, which is near Ann Arbor.
    • An unincorporated city in Nevada. It is wedged between McCarran International Airport, the University of Nevada - Las Vegas (UNLV), and the Las Vegas Strip. Believe it or not, when you go to Vegas for gambling, you'll probably end up spending most of your time in Paradise. The actual city of Las Vegas is located north and west of Paradise. Of all the Paradises in America, this one seems to be the least paradisiacal.
  • . . . the title of several movies, including one from 1982 staring Phoebe Cates and Willie "BibleMan" Aames. You remember The Blue Lagoon (1980)? The movie starring Brooke Shields and that blonde guy whose name and face you can't quite remember? The movie about the two little kids who are shipwrecked on a desert island, grow to adolescence, walk around naked a lot, do it, have a baby and get rescued? Well, imagine the same story, but set in an Arabian desert caravan and then an oasis. And they're both already teenagers. And there's a white slavery angle. But, you get to see lots of shots of Phoebe's pre-maternal boobies. And so does the future BibleMan.
  • . . . something you might find by the dashboard light. But if you do, you may end up praying for the end of time.
  • "Exactly like where you are right now. Only much, much better." --Laurie Anderson.