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Pittsburgh

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LORD PALMERSTON! PITT THE ELDER! LORD PALMERSTON! PITT THE ELDER!
—Barney Gumble and Wade Boggs arguing at Moe's.


The city of Pittsburgh is located in southwestern Pennsylvania, in Allegheny County. It was the site of a French fort used during the French and Indian War, Fort Duquesne. In 1758, Fort Duquesne was taken by the British. General John Forbes then named it Fort Pitt (in honor of the British secretary of state William Pitt the Elder) and the surrounding settlements became Pittsburgh.

Confluence[edit]

Anytime Pittsburgh has a nationally televised sporting event, you can bet the announcers will mention the 'confluence.' The 'confluence' is the merging of two rivers, the Allegheny and the Monongahela, to form a third, the Ohio. The downtown section of Pittsburgh is located in the crotch of the Allegheny and Monongahela.

Noteworthy 'Burghers[edit]

  • Gene Kelly – dancer, actor: “Singing in the Rain”
  • Andy Warhol – artist
  • Marc Cuban – billionaire owner of the Dallas Mavericks of the NBA, financier of the movie 'Redacted'
  • Tom Vilsack – current Secretary of Agriculture
  • Dennis Miller – uses big words, getting his sports show cancelled
  • Rick "Man on Dog" SantorumFORMER US Senator and 2012 Presidential candidate
  • Ron Paul – paleoconservative former presidential candidate, and by extension, Rand Paul (R-KY)
  • Tom Ridge – former Republican governor of Pennsylvania and first Secretary of Homeland Scare Tactics
  • Dr. Greg Forbes – foul weather expert on the Weather Channel, is an excellent source for hearing the unique Pittsburgh dialect, (listen for how he pronounces "county".
  • BILLY MAYS - HERE, THE LATE TV PITCHMAN WHO MAKES YOU READ EVERYTHING IN CAPS IN MY VOICE ALL THE TIME. TRY OXYCLEAN.

Noteworthy Burgers[edit]

A drippingly greasy staple of the McDonald's franchise, the Big Mac sandwich, was developed by a Pittsburgher, Jim Delligatti, in the 1960's.[1] And what goes better on a hamburger than some Heinz Tomato Ketchup? Pittsburgh is the home of Heinz.

Dialect[edit]

Pittsburghese, as it is colloquially called, is a very strange and distinct dialect, in that there are words used in Pittsburgh and its surrounding areas that are not used anywhere else in the world. Rubber band is 'gumband', cleaning up becomes 'redding up', and you all becomes 'yinz'.(???)

Other examples include:

  • Bumpershoot – umbrella
  • Dippy Eggs – fried eggs with runny yolk
  • Slippy – slippery
  • Jumbo - Bologna luncheon meat
  • Pop – soda
  • Chipptam – thinly sliced ham
  • Nebby - to be in one's business, bothersome
  • N' at - contraction for "and that", used at the end of a list of things (I had to go to the store to pick up some chipptam, jumbo, and some pop n' at.). Even though most people don't even use "and that" at the end of a sentence, it still fits the Pittsburghese dialect.
  • Worsh - wash, as in "needs worshed". Thus Mt. Washington becomes "Mt. Worshington" in the local dialect. Strangely, sometimes the same pronunciation is used in the state of Washington.

There is no letter 'w', or anything that makes that sound, in Pittsburgh except if it is the first letter in a word. Downtown becomes 'dahntahn', out becomes 'aht'.

Educated locals attempt to hide their accent because it does not sound, as a language, very intellectual, but sometimes the words just slip aht.

For an audio treatment of the dialect, see here.

Politics[edit]

Regardless of the high ranking Republicans from the area, Pittsburgh today enjoys a 5 to 1 ratio of Democrats to Republicans. There has not been a Republican mayor since 1933.[2]

Sports[edit]

Da Stillers are a local and regional legend, and probably on their way to more Super Bowl victories if Ben Roethlisberger's arm holds up and he stays off his motorcycle and out of Harrah's Casino in Reno. Nothing good comes out of Reno and Ben of all people should know that.

The Penguins are the local hockey team. They used to play in an arena named Civic Arena. But then a local investment bank -- one that bore the family name of one of Richard Mellon Scaife's ancestors -- bought the naming rights. However, 'Burghers just called it The Igloo, which is what it looked like. It was the world's first sports arena with a retractable roof. Now they play in the Consol Energy Center which unfortunately doesn't have a retractable roof and looks nothing like an Igloo.

Piratesmiley.gif Arr ye mateys, the Pirates ☠ are the other local favorite, causing much piratey imagery to be popular in da Burgh. ☠☠☠☠☠ Piratesmiley.gif Unfortunately, they are one of the worst teams in the entire league and have had 20 consecutive losing seasons. They finally managed to make it to the postseason in 2013 and look like they may be on their way to becoming a respectable franchise again, that is if the team owners don't sell off all the good players by June of 2014 like they usually do.

Guess something needs debunked[edit]

The Steelers have lost two Super Bowls, yet the world still turns.

References[edit]