RationalWiki:Annotated Qur'an/The Overwhelming Calamity

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Annotated Qur'an
Sura 88: The Overwhelming Calamity
Word-by-word translation
Alternate translations and related tafsirs
Alternate translations
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Qur'an 88:1[edit]

Has there come to you the news of the overwhelming?

Qur'an 88:1 Notes[edit]

Yes. I remember the Y2K bug scare predicted a calamity at the stroke of mellenial midnight.

Qur'an 88:2[edit]

Faces on that Day will be shamed.

Qur'an 88:2 Notes[edit]

Nope. In the end it was a pretty fun time for all.

Qur'an 88:3[edit]

Laboring and exhausted.

Qur'an 88:3 Notes[edit]

Nope. People worked hard leading up to the year 2000 and smoothed out all the computer bugs that was supposed to wreak havoc.

Qur'an 88:4[edit]

Roasting in a scorching Fire.

Qur'an 88:4 Notes[edit]

Yes, some said nuclear missiles might be launched (they weren't) but there were fireworks.

Qur'an 88:5[edit]

Given to drink from a flaming spring.

Qur'an 88:5 Notes[edit]

At the party I went to there was a bubbling Jacuzzi outside but we didn't drink from it, we drank for the cold punch bowl.

Qur'an 88:6[edit]

They will have no food except thorns.

Qur'an 88:6 Notes[edit]

I don't remember being served apples with razors in it. You're thinking of Halloween not New Years.

Qur'an 88:7[edit]

That neither nourishes, nor satisfies hunger.

Qur'an 88:7 Notes[edit]

I suppose at most parties we aren't served very nutritious food.

Qur'an 88:8[edit]

Faces on that Day will be joyful.

Qur'an 88:8 Notes[edit]

Nope again. Once the countdown is over, the real fun partying begins!

Qur'an 88:9[edit]

Satisfied with their endeavor.

Qur'an 88:9 Notes[edit]

Yes, all that work preparing food and mixing drinks was worth it.

Qur'an 88:10[edit]

In a lofty Garden.

Qur'an 88:10 Notes[edit]

Yeah, we took the party out into the back garden, how did you know?

Qur'an 88:11[edit]

In it you will hear no nonsense.

Qur'an 88:11 Notes[edit]

Nope. I wouldn't care to repeat some of the raunchy things my friends said that night.

Qur'an 88:12[edit]

In it is a flowing spring.

Qur'an 88:12 Notes[edit]

More like a splash than a gush. Someone fell into the swimming pool.

Qur'an 88:13[edit]

In it are raised beds.

Qur'an 88:13 Notes[edit]

Yes there was a blow up air mattress floating on the pool.

Qur'an 88:14[edit]

And cups set in place.

Qur'an 88:14 Notes[edit]

We were actually drinking out of plastic champagne goblets.

Qur'an 88:15[edit]

And cushions set in rows.

Qur'an 88:15 Notes[edit]

But not enough as several people passed out on the ground and slept the whole night without even a pillow.

Qur'an 88:16[edit]

And carpets spread around.

Qur'an 88:16 Notes[edit]

We have money but we aren't that rich.

Qur'an 88:17[edit]

Do they not look at the camels—how they are created?

Qur'an 88:17 Notes[edit]

I remember a goat kind of showing up out of nowhere, but I'm sure there was no camel.

Qur'an 88:18[edit]

And at the sky—how it is raised?

Qur'an 88:18 Notes[edit]

I couldn't tell you. Few of us remember a thing after one in the morning.

Qur'an 88:19[edit]

And at the mountains—how they are installed?

Qur'an 88:19 Notes[edit]

I...I don't know what hills you're talking about.

Qur'an 88:20[edit]

And at the earth—how it is spread out?

Qur'an 88:20 Notes[edit]

You mean the soil? In my garden. I don't understand.

Qur'an 88:21[edit]

So remind. You are only a reminder.

Qur'an 88:21 Notes[edit]

Me? I'm a remembrancer? What is that?

Qur'an 88:22[edit]

You have no control over them.

Qur'an 88:22 Notes[edit]

I beg your pardon? I am too a warder!

Qur'an 88:23[edit]

But whoever turns away and disbelieves.

Qur'an 88:23 Notes[edit]

You mean us?

Qur'an 88:24[edit]

God will punish him with the greatest punishment.

Qur'an 88:24 Notes[edit]

Oh no. Whatever can we do?

Qur'an 88:25[edit]

To Us is their return.

Qur'an 88:25 Notes[edit]

Okay. I'll return the lawnmower I borrowed from you last month.

Qur'an 88:26[edit]

Then upon Us rests their reckoning.

Qur'an 88:26 Notes[edit]

Why are you guys being such dicks about this? Okay, you've condemned most of humanity to cruel horror...do you really have to go "ha ha...now you are burning...nah nah nah?"