Talk:Heterophobia

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Heterophobia asserts a rational fallacy: It is logically equivalent to the assertion that if some men are black, all men are black

I have a lesbian friend. I once asked her why most lesbians seemed to dislike me to an extreme degree. She replied that that was an easy one. She said they disliked me because I was a handsome man and that they saw me as competition for women they were attracted to. However, she didn't feel that way and her remarks couldn't be understood as a universal generalization. There may be individual gays who can be characterized by generalizations, but going from there to an across the board statements about all gays is faulty logic, as far as I am concerned. dMbTiger 23:31 22 October 2012

That is the worst hatemonging BS I have ever readed

Just search craiglist for "Gay-only" or "LGBT-only" tenants/roomates ads. It is usually paired with a gender discimination "Gay male-only" for example. So somebody here assume because Im a male hetero I would be a lesser roomate -and therefore human being- than a gay girl. Thats discrimination and therefore heterophobia as the disctimnating factor is who I fuck.

Thanks to rationalwiki I learned anybody not in complete denial of it is supposed to be homophobic.

Thats plain retarded.^{— Unsigned, by: 64.228.83.40 / talk / contribs}

At least we can spell and punctuate. Who's retarded now? Queex_{chthonic murmurings} 18:59, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

Let's give you the benefit of the doubt here. Do you know what the biggest flaw of your argument is? ikanreed ^{You probably didn't deserve that} 19:47, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

ikanreed, I don't thing hinting will get you far with a BoN by whose logic, anyone advertising that they prefer a female tenant is a misandrist (and possibly a transphobe too), advertising for a male tenant is misogyny, requesting a young tenant is tantamount to gerontophobia and preferring an elderly one would make the landlord an ephebiphobe. Dear BoN, does a preference for non-smoking tenants equal a phobia towards smoking? I hope these examples illustrate why a preference for a certain type of tenant does not mean that the landlord has a phobia towards tenants (or people in general) who don't match these preferred qualities. ScepticWombat (talk) 04:44, 10 July 2015 (UTC)

Woah

I mean, I still think that this isn't really a thing, but I was watching a video joking about "tumblr feminists" (aka SJWs, Feminazis, misandrists or whatever but actually and not Phylis Schlafly's definition) and one (who goes by the name of "genderbitch", unfortunately a Google search shows she isn't some random person, she's actually semifamous in their fucked-up community) said: "I'm sorry, but there is no way I could handle it if my child chose to be straight AND cis. I'm going to start the cross-dressing regime from an early age to make sure that doesn't happen. If it does anyway, I guess I could still love them" There is so much wrong with that. First off, sexuality is not a choice. So I guess we could lump her with Ben Carson or someone like that. Also, isn't that terrible. Just think about that for a second. So the homophobia we have taken years to weaken (and will take years more to fully demolish) has started in another form against another group. And "the cross-dressing regime"? Isn't gender supposed to be a personal thing that you are supposed to respect and not interfere with? Will you punish your child if s/he wears clothes associated with his sex from birth? But worst of all, "I guess I could still love them". There is so much wrong with this but it is self-explanatory. And this woman (who was male at birth, but unlike her, I respect people's genders) complains about 'transmisoginy' because there's something wrong with the word transphobia tweets such disgusting bile as "#PinkForLeelah sounds like cis people just trying to absolve themselves of guilt." Who the hell thinks like this? So that means like 99% of the population should feel responsible for a tragedy because of their gender? That means all Muslims should be responsible for 9/11, all white people (inc. yourself) for the murder of Jo Cox MP? I mean, it might be just an example of one person, but it's still one too many. Also, should she get an article of her own as many other sexists, bigots etc. do? I'm not sure how notable she is to be fair. She locked her tumblr but looking on reddit there seems to be some pretty bad shit that they linked. {{SUBST:User:Mkbw50/sig}} (talk) 08:02, 29 August 2016 (UTC)

Actual 'heterophobia'

I feel this section is focusing on the wrong thing. Heterophobia as a hatred of straight folk, while im sure exists in some corners its hardly widespread. Heterophobia as an unease or discomfort around straight people is certainly a thing in the circles i move in. I know i feel constrained in a predominantly straight environment that i cannot put down to a fear of a homophobic response. It is never far from my mind that all the things that gay folk do in the course of being gay are literally the worse insults you can throw at a straight male. It is also that in certain establishment that i on occasion frequent straight people, while not expressly forbidden, might not be entirely welcome. It is also true that i to some degree self segregate from straight society. I have however come to realise that my existence is to fringe to be able say these experiences are widespread or that it ie merely a group of disparate indiduals bonding over a shared experience. AMassiveGay (talk) 10:38, 29 August 2016 (UTC)

its also entirely possible this manifestion of my own discomfort with my sexuality and internalised homophobia. AMassiveGay (talk) 10:45, 29 August 2016 (UTC)

I think the truth is that LOTS of very different people, of all stripes and sexualities, have neurotic relationships with their own sexuality and indeed with those of others (two "different" things which are in fact often closely interconnected). The necessary result of the fact that people can't stand their own sexualities sometimes is that for every sexuality that exists, there exists phobia against it (note that this is not a comment on how much such phobia exists, the numbers of people belonging to the sexuality, the injection of culture with said phobia etc...). It's like the video says; the problem is that sexual liberation actually never happened, and we're still very worried about being honest with our deepest, wierdest sexual desiers to anyone we'd want to think highly of us. If one is to take an incredibly positive (near-apologist) view on the nature of humanity, and if one were to forget all the violence for just one moment, one could say that — to some extent — it's "just" one gigantic, culture-spanning communication problem. Reverend Black Percy (talk) 06:27, 30 August 2016 (UTC)

Credible source

I was doing some other research and came across this article which I found poorly written.

Here is a credible source that may help clarify the potential etymology of the word.

Heterosexual Fantasies and Behaviors

Many lesbians are privately distressed by sexual feelings, fantasies, and dreams

about men, and they experience their awareness of these interests as threatening to

their lesbian identity and membership in the lesbian subculture. There is no more

justification to consider these thoughts and feelings, even when acted upon, as demonstration

of the lesbian’s “basic heterosexuality” than there is to consider the sometime

homosexual fantasy of the heterosexual person evidence of “basic homosexuality.” Since

the lesbian community largely looks with disfavor upon these heterosexual interests

and behaviors and with even greater disfavor upon bisexuality, lesbians in the treatment

context are often relieved to be able to speak of these interests at all; and they are

doubly relieved, though often uncomfortable at first, to speak of them with their lovers.

Toder (1978, p. 111) notes that there is a taboo within the lesbian community against

talking about these experiences and that “many lesbians assume that other lesbians

never have them and literally panic when they have a sexual fantasy or a dream that

includes men.” It may be useful to term this reaction heterophobia to point out that it

has a parallel in the well-known homophobia of heterosexual life and to indicate that

in the lesbian community, heterosexuality is often stigmatized.

For the heterosexual therapist, the exploration of these matters is a delicate matter

because lesbian women are ever alert for signs that the therapist disapproves of or does

not support their life-style and object choice, and may suspect the therapist’s reason for

raising these issues. It may not be possible, in fact, for some lesbians to discuss these

issues in such a context. In some cases, if the heterosexual therapist suggests that the

clients discuss these matters with a lesbian therapist, the heterosexual therapist’s

demonstration of openness may render the consultation unnecessary for the clients.

Although the sexual orientation of the therapist may make an important difference in

dealing with this topic, the therapist’s values and attitudes and communication of them

to the clients are usually far more significant.

Intolerance of bisexuality or of inconsistent sexual preference is very great in the

lesbian community. Thus, those many women who experience themselves as having the

potential for significant relationships with women and with men often feel lonely and

trapped with their feelings. These feelings are frequently named in therapy in times of

deepening commitment within the lesbian couple, when the member experiencing them

is addressing her own grief over the loss of social acceptance of her partner choice, of

heterosexual privilege, of the possibility of having a child who is biologically related to

both parents, and sometimes, of sexual relations with men.

• Roth, S. (1985), PSYCHOTHERAPY WITH LESBIAN COUPLES: INDIVIDUAL ISSUES, FEMALE SOCIALIZATION, AND THE SOCIAL CONTEXT*. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 11: 273–286. doi:10.1111/j.1752-0606.1985.tb00620.x

Tmpfs (talk) 07:41, 8 March 2017 (UTC)