CLoM » January 2010 Archive

Experimental results of coffee

[ link ]
[ talk about this post ]

[ main page ]

I got these results a while back but didn't really know what to do with them. And then I remembered I had a Log especially for random bits of information like that. Every word counts after all.

Results presented in order of strength. The weakest coffee is first. I didn't drink much of each, just about a tablespoon maybe, so I will suffer no ill effects. Coffee names have been changed to protect identities. Also don't trust the timestamp date for this thing. Dates are known to lie.

• Type 01, 'Blue umbrella': It is kind and mild. A treat for the eyes. This is a coffee for Mei.
• Type 02, 'Herba': Tastes like a sharp pain in my ear. Does not respond to sugar. I would drink this mostly with milk.
• Type 03, 'Wealthy diplomat': Stronger than Prussian artillary. Last quarter inch of cup composed 90% of coffee powder. I would not drink this again or even on this occasion.
• Type 04, 'Mysterious green ribbon': Very dark. Made me hear strange music. Cleaned my spoons, for a net gain. Couldn't really taste anything: distracted by music and spoons.
• Type 05, 'Lengthened gage': Not strong at all. Nice and rich, not bitter. One hundred and eleven named angels saluted me. The final events before the great war have been made clear and there are obscenities to come.
• Type 06, 'Valvettithurai': Quietude colonised, reorganises, sets back geography and reveals the sightlessness. One faces, one sets back. Keeping score: keeping score.

--06:12, 28 January 2010 (UTC)

[ main page ]

---

Symptoms of Mei Volume IV

[ link ]
[ talk about this post ]

[ main page ]

My neck is sore and feels wrong. My scalp aches. I'm groggy and unwell.

Where are my contact lenses?

Now here's Pg.99. [1]

--04:16, 28 January 2010 (UTC)

[ main page ]

---

The End of Lists

[ link ]
[ talk about this post ]

[ main page ]

In my mission statement I mentioned my plan to phase out lists. The process begins today. Over the next few years lists will be seamlessly replaced with anecdotes. Lists have become an inappropriate way of communicating in the modern era: like talking too quietly or shouting at the top of your breath.

I have compiled a list that covers the main drawbacks of lists. This is not a joke, it's just the most efficient way of expressing this information. I actually tried to think of another way to get my point across, but all I could think of was lists.

1. The main drawback of a list is that Mei already writes too many lists. Seriously. If I'm not doing something else it's because I'm busy writing a list. Right now is an example, because I should be doing something else and instead I'm writing a list.
2. If you write a list in public, people will respect you less and may attempt to undermine your financial position.
3. Lists do not come in so many colors. Usually they will be black.
4. Lists reinforce the notion of an atomized world in which all physical and conceptual objects are functionally discrete.
5. Lists are not the warm smile of a cute girl. x___X
6. All lists tend towards infinity, which can be kinda dangerous or at least time consuming. What would happen if you got stuck at the end of an infinitely long list? Nothing good. I mean it's not so likely but it could still happen. Think about it.
7. Lists are a bad habit.

And for the sake of old times here is a list of things I like about lists.

1. You can put blank lines in lists if you can't think of anything yet.
2. Lists are economical and easy to read!
3. Lists don't judge me.
4. I can start writing a list without even thinking about what it's for. It encourages fluid thinking.
5. Lists make it easier for me to communicate.

This is actually pretty depressing. Oh look it's the end of the post.

--03:41, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

[ main page ]

---

Symptoms of Mei Volume III

[ link ]
[ talk about this post ]

[ main page ]

I am overheated and nauseous. Now here's DJ Shadow.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5OGk9N8Y5s

Edit: OK that might not work. And I don't know why. So that's a new symptom - 'video failure'. -______-

Edit: Converted to a link.

--01:33, 26 January 2010 (UTC)

[ main page ]

---

Mission Statement

[ link ]
[ talk about this post ]

[ main page ]

ATTENTION

I have decided that this log should become competitive. When I started to write this log, I assumed it would immediately be celebrated for its combination of usefulness and lists. In reality, the number of times it was cited for usefulness or lists was vanishingly small. People just don't want things listed. To boost viewing figures I reached for my secret weapon - a list which contained the concept of usefulness. Again, public response was mostly lukewarm. This precipitated Cunning Log's official move away from lists, which is an issue we will return to.

DIAGNOSIS

The critical weakness of Cunning Log of Mei is simple. At the moment it just doesn't have enough words in it. Other documents with more words include...

1. An encyclopedia
2. A dictionary
3. Some leaflets

My intention is to divert all available words to Cunning Log and boost its literary worth. This will not be easy - some of the words will have to be very poorly concieved. Others will be irrelevant, illogical, or just annoying - whatever is necessary to reach our goal. An example would be the word "swirling" in this sentence, which is utterly pointless.

Our competition is fierce. An encyclopedia alone contains at least one word for each subject, and usually more. A dictionary is worse - it has the maximum number of words, which is all of them. In order to beat the word count for the dictionary, I may have to use some words more than once. Typing this amount of words can be very dangerous. To prevent injury of fingers and eyes I will often rest for several days, not unlike a python.

PROGNOSIS

My eventual intention is to have the most words. I think this will be a unique selling point. When everyone else is promoting their documents, I can just say 'Yes, but how many words does it have?' And people will see that is has at least one fewer than Cunning Log. I expect people to compete with me but I will beat them by writing extra words when ever they overtake me. In the long term, I will have a monopoly on words. Eventually people will be forced to borrow words from here in order to conduct basic social rituals. Each person will have a spare copy of the word 'please' in order to request words if they are out of words. It will be dangerous to leave the home without an adequate supply of words. What would happen if you encountered David Cameron without the word 'wanker' in your possession? You'd feel pretty silly.

WHAT CAN I DO?

Vote for Mei.

--22:23, 24 January 2010 (UTC)

[ main page ]

---

List of wasps

[ link ]
[ talk about this post ]

[ main page ]

1. Vespula germanica
2. Vespula maculifrons
3. Vespula pensylvanica
4. Vespula vulgaris

--14:06, 24 January 2010 (UTC)

[ main page ]

---

Play!

[ link ]
[ talk about this post ]

[ main page ]

01

Green, mostly. I did not get lost on this map, which is good going. For that I awarded myself a small medal, although the ceremony was quite rushed because of all the monsters throwing things at me. It all went quite well until...

MAP - I summon demonic spiders

MEI - ;_______;

There was a huge outdoor canyon thing, which wasn't really used for anything except being a canyon.

MAP - Look, green canyons!

MEI - Why are the canyons green, map?

MAP - Look, demonic spiders!

MEI - ;__________;

I heroically ran past everything. I executed a flawless 'spin wildly through room and bounce off corners' maneuver before exiting.

02

I didn't get lost in this map either. It was red mostly, if you were wondering.

MAP - Look, red canyons!

MEI - Why are the canyons red, map?

MAP - Have some more spiders!

(These were different spiders)

Some time passes...

MEI - I think I have enough spiders now.

MAP - No wait, there's more!

((more spiders))

The end is hard just because it's so long. There is a big room of spiders which you cannot run past (got my number) and which you have to kill to get out. But...

1. There are hundreds of them
2. They get stuck in their room

The room is shaped sort of squarely, except with extra bits designed for things to get stuck in accidentally. Because they get stuck you basically have to go in every few minutes and escort them out. I'm no longer a soldier, I'm more like a social worker for demonic spiders. I didn't even kill them in the end, I just took them over to an empty corner of the map and left them there. Then I went back to their home and stole their end-of-map thing.

MEI - I've stolen your end-of-map thing!

SPIDERS - Why did we follow blindly to this misfortune.

In theory they can run faster than me, but in practice they don't really know where they want to go. I think they might be lost.

MAP - You missed some of the spiders.

03

I did get lost on this map. It looks sort of like a kitchen.

MAP - Did you notice how there are no spiders at the start.

MEI - Yes!

MAP - Instead there is a tiny invisible switch you must find.

MEI - ;___________;

I did find the switch. Before finding the switch I got lost in the first room. Which is a box. Escaping the square kitchen leads to a squiggly kitchen.

MAP - This is where I keep my spiders.

MEI - NOOOOOOOOOOO

I died here lots of times. I put it down to a combination of spiders and being lost. If there is a world record for number of times lost in this map, I think I will enter.

--23:57, 23 January 2010 (UTC)

[ main page ]

---

Themes: Usefulness, lists, being ill

[ link ]
[ talk about this post ]

[ main page ]

If you were wondering, this is just a page where I can put my

1. random complaints about pain illness and confusion
2. investigations into usefulness
3. lists

...without filling the saloon bar or accidentally giving the impression that I'm dying. I think it is a good thing, although I made it mainly because I had the idea and it involved templates. Templates are good for you. Also my original plan was to post in the bar whenever I felt ill, and that clearly did not work.

If you want to talk about illness or lists there is a red link below that you can click on. If you want to talk about Obama or politics, there is also that. If you want to ignore this page, that is also good. There will be a special ignore feature in development. I will try not to fill up recent changes again. Sorry. ;;

--04:45, 23 January 2010 (UTC)

[ main page ]

---

Older - January 2010 - Newer.