Animal Rights Militia

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A buncha tree-huggers
Save the rainforests!
Watch that carbon footprint!

Animal Rights Militia (ARM) is a name used by a fringe group of animal rights activists who engage in terrorism "direct action" and "physical confrontation" with people whom they claim are involved in animal torture, with the purpose of saving animals. Like the Animal Liberation Front, from which it likely splintered, it is a leaderless "resistance" movement and consists of autonomous small cells acting independently. Its tactics include sending letter bombs,[1] committing arson,[2] blackmailing, and threatening mass assassination,[3] which is viewed as "terrorism" by most reasonable people. They also fail to notice that their actions are, in themselves, torturing animals — said animals being members of the species homo sapiens. As such, they are guilty of the very thing they are trying to stop. They distinguish themselves from the Animal Liberation Front in that the ALF seeks to avoid directly harming humans, while those who operate under this banner do not.[4]

They got their start in the early 1980s, when they sent letter bombs to all of the major British political parties. An office manager for Margaret Thatcher's office was injured with minor burns as a result.[5] Two years later, they managed to detonate bombs in two vehicles belonging to biological researchers, which destroyed the cars. In 1986, they planted similar devices in the cars of researchers associated with testing facility Huntingdon Life Sciences,Wikipedia but some one may have had pangs of conscience because the police were notified and the bombs defused.[6]

Subsequent activities by the group have been covered in somewhat lesser glory. In 1987, individuals operating under this name managed to start a fire in a butcher shop in San José, California.[7] In 2004, they stole the body of an elderly woman from her grave, as part of a campaign of terror against a farm that bred guinea pigs for research.[8] Since these acts, the main activity of the group has been food tampering; claiming to have poisoned bottles of POM fruit juice is a typical act.[9]

In an interesting combination of fundamentalist ideologies, jailed ARM letterbomber Glynn Harding told police the he had reached an agreement with Jesus that in exchange for mailing 100 bombs, Harding’s stillborn child would be allowed to enter heaven.[1]

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