Conservapedia:Best of Conservapedia/0706

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June additions[edit]

Even older[edit]

  • (This item superseded by Conservapedia:FBI_Incident) Andy gets called out (by three four five six seven people so far! — JackTheRealMcCoy, Eddiec, SumsUp, Philaretes, Order, EdDeTour and Supervisor) on his hollow threat to report "vandals" to the FBI. Of course, these questions are all quickly removed [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12],[13], and the questioners all blocked or threatened [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20]. A recent reversion (by TerryH) is titled "FBI is NOYB". The powers that be seem extremely touchy on this subject.
  • (This item superseded by Conservapedia:FBI_Incident) Karajou, in a spate of slightly more than abnormal stupidity, bans Philaretes for asking about the FBI investigation on his own talk page.[21] He then claims asking questions about an investigation is “obstruction of justice.” [22] He then reverts Philaretes’ edits to his own page.[23] So much for one’s page being a “castle.”
  • By categorising Madonna as an 'Actress', LearnTogether has revealed himself as a troll, surely? [24]
  • The sad thing is, they probably don't see the irony in the historical Quote
  • "Nearly all law professors are liberal"[25] and "90% of law professors voted for [John Kerry]"[26]. Perhaps Andy forgot that 2 of the conservative members of SCOTUS are former law professors. [27][28]
  • Irony at its best.
  • Mocking Andy is the same as mocking Christianity! [29]
  • A clean, family-friendly encyclopedia that may be used by children needs to be very careful about discussion of breasts, so it has mammary glands. Complete with "she has been blessed" as a euphemism for development, or "she has been abundantly blessed" in some cases. I can just imagine the text messaging among boys in high school English class.
  • CP reveals: The Gates Foundation is "hostile to religion" because none of their 2007 money "has gone towards faith-based programs"!
  • CP considers actors portraying characters who indulge in activities which, in real life, the actor personally disagrees with, a form of Liberal hypocrisy. Presumably, Anthony Hopkins is a hypocrite for not REALLY being a serial-killing cannibal. Karajou makes a fool of himself trying to justify this ignorance.
  • Foxpuppet Doesn't like that point So it's gone.
  • Israel supports Same Sex Marriage? Nope, just the work of Liberal Activist Judges [30]
  • And this just kills me.
  • Emphasis on casualties in Saving Private Ryan is an example of liberal-ness.
  • How could David Vitter's wife not forgive him? God did.
  • Conservapedia keeps dossiers on all presumptive Cabal members, and all trouble-makers. These highly invasive files include personal information such as full name, age, family members, employment, and contact information. So, we now see what it would be like to live in a world run by Conservapedia: what we would lack in privacy, we would gain in vindictive animosity.
  • In contrast to the Fair and Balanced Fox News, the BBC is just biased!
  • Nothing like a spat between sysops TK and Fox to liven things up! [31]
  • Andy admits that "people of low IQs" often have "strong religious faith." Egad! Sounds like a typical CPer! [32]
  • Users banned for being people they're not [33]
  • Only Biblical paintings can be considered masterpieces [34]
  • Liberals Hate Abstinence, they want everyone having SEX!!!![35] or perhaps they don't?[36]
  • Looking for great conservative songs? Look no further!!
  • Mortal Kombat is Racist.... Who Knew? [37]
  • Dick Cheney didn't shoot anyone; his hunting partner just received buck shot to the face and neck after walking into his blind spot. Also, it appears that Cheney moved into Whittington's blind spot rather than vice versa.
  • Christians doing something they shouldn't? Then obviously they aren't Christians, and it's all a liberal conspiracy!
  • Public schools are responsible for all of the violence committed by the students. Well, duh!
  • "Thou shalt not bear false witness"... unless you belong to the Christian Coalition!
  • Conservapedia's sysop Fox is accused of being a liberal[38]. Block followed, of course.
  • Lookout! The Feds will be kicking doors in! Andy is putting the FBI on the vandals. [39] & [40] (It is recommended that you follow the diffs for a while, classic stuff.) Oh, and the FBI certainly does care about internet vandals, apparently [41]. Finally, the lawyers are coming out of the woodwork [42]
  • RobS claims that every human being is a capitalist, without exception.
  • 65,536 more IPs are banned, nonupling the number of blocks on CP. The number of blocks has octodecupled since the range block of July 9th.
  • The Fourteenth Amendment stands for the separation of church and state, according to Aschlafly. Now, maybe that's what they teach at Harvard Law, but not what the law actually says. See our Fourteenth Amendment article to see why Andy's wrong about pretty much everything.
  • CP, The trustworthy encyclopedia, embraces the most important issues of the day: to wit: Are Dogs better than Cats? and is it a leftwing conspiracy? CP say "yes" on both counts. And yet they ridicule Wikipedia for having a "silly" entry on the slang expression "duh" [43].
  • Before you complain about anything, you must complain about everything. Don't bother criticizing Andy until you tackle every other problem in the world.
  • CP Unwelcome Mat is Official!: CP Sysops to earn points (and not just brownie points) by blocking editors. [44]
  • Deletion can only refer to DNA. [45]
  • Conservapedia weighs in on African Americans: A very brief entry on African Americans in CP includes a section devoted to their "lower than average" intelligence. [46]
  • Terrorism is hilarious! Thank God Andy understands this. [47]
  • More politicizing of tragedy: More Young Earth Creationist Math. Conservapedia thinks being in a coma for ten days with the likelihood of brain injury is pretty much the same as being in a persistent vegetative state for over a decade. [48]
  • Homopedia: An idea whose time has come!
  • Democrats gain an unfair advantage in elections because dogs can vote.
  • The Nobel Prize committee has given little recognition to Relativity, presumably because they doubt it's true; nevertheless, they denied a Nobel Prize to Robert Dicke because of his criticism of Relativity.
  • Conservapedia's founder gives right-thinking Christians carte blanche to judge others citing his considered opinion that some of the teachings of Jesus are too liberal and therefore not part of the real bible.
  • According to Andy, liberals all support the creation of chimera.
  • The sun set on the British Empire because they promoted the Piltdown Man.
  • Chuck Norris works to uncover a vast atheist conspiracy that wants to outlaw Christianity in the United States.
  • Geraldo Rivera is a liberal, even though he supports the troops?
  • Elamdri's logic: "If you are Mexican, but you don't live in Mexico, then you aren't really Mexican anymore because you've relinquished your Mexican citizenship"[49]
  • Guess what? Slavery isn't all bad!
  • The Confederate States of America existed until 1870.
  • Leftists [are]...advocates of thought control[50]
  • Authorisation is necessary to be on a public wiki, and only Sysops are allowed to talk to one another.
  • Ashlafly's educational advice to a student - "don't read a book to learn, but write a book to learn". Note: A shortened version of this advice recently became a CP motto.
  • Nothing important happened on June 8 or June 11
  • RobS grumpily accepts that his New Ordeal article is an essay, but still bans user Irat as the door shuts behind him [51]
  • Warm front sweeps through the Great Lakes region, bringing storms. Wild paranoia sweeps through CP, bringing bans.
  • Despite their protestations to the contrary, The Church of Jesus Christ are not Christians.
  • CP believes that conservatives out grew deceit by age 6.[52] I wonder if they count Tom Delay or Scooter Libby as a conservative?
  • Mirabile dictu! U.S. dollars pre-date the U.S.A.! This is clearly a measure of the strength of our currency.[53]
  • Midnight Cowboy is a "pornographic film" which "has long since been forgotten".
  • Liberals made fun of Jesus Christ in person.
  • This has a pro-evolutionary bias.
  • Creating an account then asking for deletion is a Parthian shot.[54]
  • Polls are important only when the results support your opinion.[55][56]
  • The TV Show 24 proves that torture is always needed in the War on Terror.
  • The main reason humans fear death is because they're afraid of God's judgement? See our refutation at Essay:Fear of Death.
  • People are not animals, and there is 'no evidence animals can "think"'.
  • As an award for proving Fermat's Last Theorem, Andrew Wiles was awarded US citizenship; this item was [57] fixed on May 27th.
  • The time period between 1929 and 1949 are known as the New Ordeal or the "Great Ordeal". Also, this 20 year period is entirely covered by 4 4-year terms, and no Republicans held the presidency during this time period. Also, Harry S. Truman's presidency preceded Franklin Roosevelt's. Note: Some of this has been fixed, but the uncited use of "New Ordeal" remains; see this article for more information.
  • Paula Jones, central figure in the Bill Clinton sex scandals, is the same person as the Stephen E. Jones who sued to prevent the electors from the state of Texas from casting their votes for Dick Cheney in 2000. That paragraph has been edited by two CP sysops[58] [59] since its May 13th introduction without that being corrected.
  • Writing "Ic3w3dg3 = JESUS" on a website viewed by less than 1/2 of .01% of internet users is an act of terrorism.
  • It is closed-minded to believe that physical constants (speed of light, half-life of carbon) are constant. Even when their modification would cause the universe to implode. It logically follows that when the laws of physics must bend to allow young-earth creationistm... they do![60]
  • Legal rules here (search for User:Richard) apply to Conservapedia's block policy... at least, when they result in decreasing annoyance to Andy. When legal conventions like "evidence" and "due process" get in the way of blocking users, they're summarily ignored.
  • Witchcraft exists because God exists.
  • Any kind of website attack, especially those involving being mean to Conservatives, is an act of cyberterrorism, even though that would involve changing the definition of the word.
  • Since February of 2007, more than 3000 users have been blocked from this website [61]
  • CP improves clarity, and freshens breath!
  • Plan B is awesome!
  • "Tweaking sysops" is a blockable offence. [62]
  • Being the target of a mocking column equals success. Being the target of a blog that no one has ever heard of is an even greater success!
  • Users banned for having incorrect musical taste - many songs removed [63]