Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/March 2011

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March 31st has been named in honor of Terry (with a Y)img Schiavo...who may or may not be related to Terri (with an I) Schiavo


First Conservapedia lauds the closing of book stores, now they wax lyrical over potential budget cuts for the Smithsonian.img


As CP struggles to cope with a DDoS attack, Andy posts his revenge fantasy a news story on the main page.img


Uncle Ed: PLINO doesn't rhyme with Rhinoimg...true, but only if you don't know what the word "rhyme" means


Pot / Kettle Department: Andy slams Facebook for providing "a skewed view of what's really going on."img


Ken: Can anyone get me a copy of this study?img Ken a few minutes later: anyone who gets me a copy of this study is an atheistimg


Pavlov would be so proud - Jpatt:img "Oldest woman in America doesn't have a birth certificate because- Birth certificate? BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!! OBAMA!!! WHERE IS YOURS???????" (Also, somebody should tell her that she is destined to dieimg within two years.)


Shorter Ken: Let me explain that that my "atheism and obesity" claptrap isn't about name-calling, by calling you names.img


Andy continuing his anti-feminist rhetoric: Geraldine Ferraro has died. The feminist advocate for the so-called "Equal Rights Amendment" supported identical treatment of men, women, boys and girls.img Perish the thought!


What? A woman dares to aspire to run a restaurant? The misogynist that is Andy Schlafly is outraged!img UPDATE: Andy's not a misogynist; he sees no reason why a woman shouldn't aspire to be a gas station attendant.img UPDATE 2: Naive user: Here is a chapter from Proverbs in which a working woman is described as virtuous.img Andy: We'll see what the Conservative Bible has to say about that!img


Hey Schlafly, wtf is wrong with a woman having a career and not being a stay-at-home mom?img


Andy the book-burner educator once again celebrates bookstore closings.img


The Huffington Post "will likely lose more contributors the more it censors"img...Andy speaks from experience


Andy: Things were in "pretty good shape"img after the Great Flood killed everybody off.


There's no pleasing him. You'd think a movie where a pregnant teen doesn't have an abortion would be a good thing, right? Wrong. "Juno pushes feminism and marginalizes the essential role of fatherhood."img


Detroit's population has declined by 25% in the last 10 years thanks to... abortion!img


Andy: Anything that a human does is only foolish if other less-intelligent animals do it, too.img


The Mooniefication of Conservapedia continuesimg unabated.img Also, our readers don't know none o' that thar foreign crap.img


I'm sure it's just a coincidence that Andy's translation of the Bibleimg matches his personal agendaimg perfectly.


Kowardjerk: I think you're wrong on this matter my good man,img now let us discuss this maturely and allow me to demonstrate that in this case..... BLOCKED FOREVER!img


Unemployment down slightly = due to conservatives, unemployment back up slightly = due to liberals. Blah blah blah lamestream media...img


Andy trims the Barack Obama article, removing pictures and some content. Sudden pangs of doubt about the content? Not a bit of it! - he's just wrestling with a bandwidth monsterimg.


"Give it up Liberals, 62% of E-MAILS support Walker".img Which would be great, if it wasn't for the 57% of VOTERS who are against him. Give it up, conservatives. UPDATE: Walker lied about the number of emails supporting him.


This just in!img Americans are souring on Obama's Afghanistan war.


Maybe they are.img Something tells me the Koch Brothers won't raise the money.


And yea, at that precise momentimg did all doubt leave the disciples that the Conservative Bible Project was anything other than a pointless blog designed to reinforce the views of its creator.


'The UN will never agree to this'img...posted several hours after the UN agreed to it


Left hand,img meet right hand,img you two need to talk.


The unconservatively named Fukushima causes Joaquin to have to insert invisible characters into the name of the town's name in order to create the pageimg, despite pleas to Andy for helpimg. The spam filter is to blame, but Joaquin gets around itimg.


First the liberals used black holes to draw people away from the Bibleimg, now they are using plate tectonics to draw people away from the flood!img


Can you believe Chris Matthews? Using the tragedy in Japan to push his own agendaimg We would NEVERimg do that. I repeat, NEVER.img


We all know that liberals and atheists are less charitableimg than Christians and conservatives. So a user twiceimg requests that Conservapedia do something for the people affected by the Japan Earthquakeimg. Andy's reply: "This is not a blog." Meanwhile, liberal Seth Meyers on liberal Saturday Night Live ends his "Weekend Update" with a plea for help (at 38:00).


Did you know that pretzels are Christian symbolism[1]img? I didn't.


Meanwhileimg, Western Europe has been paying something in the region of $8-$9 a gallon for roughly the last 5 years. THANK YOU, AMERICA.


Countdown to Perfection!img Because nothing is more perfect than nothingness, or Conservepedia's lack of content. Or in this particular case, the lack of meaning behind Andy's "Conservative Words." Might I suggest saddlebacking? Tea bagging? No?


Someone doesn't like rock musicimg ... or PhDsimg


THIS JUST IN:img Radiation harm from Chernobyl disaster overhyped - anti-energy chicken little liberals exploit nuclear tragedy in Japan to scare people away from nuclear energy UPDATE: The more you know..., also here.


I have never used the phrase "irony meter" before now. Andy boasts that WP's editor retention rate is only 12%.img Any guesses on what Conservapedia's editor retention rate is? UPDATE: Apparently, Conservapedia's retention rate is two thirds (if you cherry pick three specific editors who joined during a particular period of time)img


The mind of a moderately functioning retarded adult in action: Global warming is a hoax, but temperatures increasing by even a single degree increase food production and good old America deserves credit for that. But maybe goddidit to go easy on old people in the winter.img


Methods of contraception:img non-encyclopedic. Abortion: very encyclopedicimg.


This just in: The Bible explains dead fishimg better than atheists can.


Those with an antichristian [sic] and anti-American agenda, such as liberals, homosexuals, atheists, evolutionists and leftists, have attempted to remove the Christian origins of our language by replacing common phrases, such as Shroveimg Tuesdayimg, with secularized versions. In other news, IT'S MARDI GRAS!!!img


Andy claims yet another nonpartisan phrase for conservatism.img


Andy: Test scores are unusually high in public schoolsimg. 20 minutes later he does some marking: 86/90img, 87/90img, 89/90img, 57/60img, 89/90img, 90/90img, and 88/90img.


Operation: Let's email the attention whore Ken beginsimg. Feel free to let him have it know what a fine job he's been doing not being on CP due to "other commitments".


Andy: We rank number one for secularized language!img Oh, wait, I mean, like in Cuba, and such.img


The Republican spending cuts in March have retroactively lowered the unemployment rate in Februaryimg


Andy: Comparing someone to Hitler is liberal claptrap!img