Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/April 2011

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April 2011[edit]


Andy's firmly aboard the birther bandwagon and accuses the nasty, liberal Christian Science Monitor of playing the race card.img Oh and some non-sequitur about David Letterman.


Jpatt: The Justice Department has fined Wendy's $17,000 for refusing to hire illegal aliens, meaning they are from another planet.img Source article: The people were refused employment because they were non-citizens.


Gentlemen, I give you the Conservapedia Pro-life project!img Side note to Andy: The world might have been better off had Hitler been aborted.img Update : Meh!img


Conservative Riddle: Q: How does Andy make a page on birthright citizenship "much improved"? A: By claiming it doesn't existimg


Andy: Here, Mr. (future President?!) Trump, let me move that goalpost for you.img UPDATE: Luckily Orly Taitz is there to keep Andy's hopes alive.img


Koward wonders how Obama's moderate presidency will end in a mountain of skulls, just like Pol Pot.img Where will Obama hide two million skulls? Perhaps he opened up the FEMA concentration camps without anyone noticing.


Barack Obama: "Here, have a birth certificate."img Conservapedia: "And what do you want us to do with this information?"img


More Royal Wedding fun! In wingnut land: Obama is snubbed by British royals because of his poor gift-giving skills.img Reality: William & Kate eschew gifts for donations to charity.


Some silly liberal thinks iPads are killing jobs!img Haha, surely we conservatives are aboveimg makingimg suchimg arbitraryimg connections.img


Now that we've seen RobS' complete inability to articulate an idea coherently or even take positions consistent with what bits of his worldview he does manage to communicate, it's no surprise he says Obama is stupid for defending peopleimg against their corrupt government but is a bastard for not defending peopleimg against their corrupt government.


Andy: Obama isn't invited to the royal wedding, probably because of his rudeness towards the Brits.img Source: Obama isn't invited to the royal wedding because of the security costs of protecting the president.


Andy: Notable lamestream media figuresimg are desperately trying to marginalize criticism of Barack Obama by not being birthers. Who are these dirty liberals? Michele Bachmann and Eric Cantor.


Yes, Jpatt, the trustworthy encyclopedia should have a trustworthy quote that declares that there is no leader in the country.img


Resident seditionist: OMG!! A 2004 AP report says Obama was "Kenyan-born!"img Snopes: Oh dear, another birther moron. Andy: "Nothing to see here folks."img


HSMom: "Can anyone provide any references for this entirely unreferenced science article"?img DouglasA: Do not dare to ask for science references!img In fact, no-one must ever ask the question again!img


HSMom: These articles are copy/pasted from .gov websites.img Koward: And just why are you complaining, instead of fixing the stuff that I so lazily copy/pasted, bitch?img


Damned if you do... Resident seditionist Jpatt thinks that Obama's support of the anti-Gaddafi rebels is part of his Muslim agenda.img God knows what he'd think if Obama supported Gaddafi instead.


Conservapedia in a nutshell: Inserting accurate Bush quotes in the Bush article is "liberal vandalism"img for which seditionistimg Jpatt, who "would like to see the military remove Obama"img from office, will without the least sense of irony sentence you to 5 years hard labor for "inserting false information."img


In yet another stunning twist, Jan the "Riviter" becomes Jan the RINO.


Andy: I believe these absurd and useless college majors exist, because they sound absurd and useless.img


It only takes a vocabulary of about 100 words to coach a soccer team.img According to Andy, that makes soccer a socialist sport.


The dumbing down of CP continues, courtesy of Ed Poor.img What next, "Giant Men with One Eye" instead of Cyclopes?


Well known liberalimg Bill O'Reillyimg is covering for that shifty bastard Obamaimg


Calling for an armed uprising against the governmentimg. Sedition: Now a conservative value. UPDATE: Jpatt clarifies: "Yes, I am calling for a military coup."img


Andy on Trump: "His unscripted, abrasive, arrogant style may be just what voters want."img A well-founded analysis from someone whose own unscripted, abrasive, arrogant style has endeared him to both voters and editors at his blog.


Karajou:That shifty bastard Obama won't tell us his social security number!img


User: I kindly ask that my account be deleted after realizing how much scholarly pathetic satire featuring flying kittens there is on this site because I am more than that.img Andy: Your logical criticism Parthian shot is unpersuasive and you're a liberal.img Ken: The atheist is just selfish.img Then Ed saves the best for last: ...You just insult us and refuse to help out on our popular, well-researched and comprehensive articles and I have tried so hard but those liberals don't want anyone checking their work or removing errors!img


According to Andy, racial tolerance and diversity are liberal conceptsimg... actually, that makes a lotimg of sense.


Yesterday: Those dirty liberals would rather shut down the government than compromise!img Today: Look at all of these stubborn affirmative tea-partiers who refused to compromise give in!img


Apparently 35% of public schools are overweight!img Naïve user: This makes no sense.img Andy: You are wrong; allow me to not really explain why.img


Conservapedia, basically synonymous with subtle reverse psychology.img


The CONSERVATIVE House cuts spending, and thus JOBS ARE CREATEDimg. Yay Conserv-wait, hold on. Turns out they were only part-time jobs.img Yeah, that's Obama's fault.


Give it up liberals! We have a 13% lead on the election that's just 19 months away!img


Andy Schlafly creates an irony singularity by claiming, in a news post beginning with the words "The lamestream media", that mainstream media is "stepping up its biased headlinesimg".


Yay! With 94% countedimg, the conservative is ahead of the filthy liberal (who spent loads of money). Oh my!!! With 99% countedimg, the conservative still has a slight edge over the filthy liberal (who spent loads of money). SILENCE the liberal is ahead after counting finishes. REALITY conservative groups spent 37% more than liberal ones. UPDATE We never said them thingsimg. MORE UPDATE It's a stunning Conservative upset!img. SILENCE AGAIN: "Oooops, I found 14,000 votes under this cushion", County Clerk says, and not for the first time.


Cheerleader hater DMorris gets promoted. Just what CP needs isn't, another hateful and closed minded admin?img


"Don't be sorry, just get it right."img Because of advice like that, User #188, your "Father of the Year" Award is being shipped as we speak.


More misogyny from Ed Poor: Woman Scientists? Can't be many of those.img


CP's priorities at work. Obama's TV ratings are downimg makes "In the News". Obama is officially running for re-election goes unmentioned.


Only Ken could take Birtherism to new levels of stupidity: "Does Barack Obama's birth certificate declare him to be an atheist or have "no religion"? Did Obama spend close to a million dollars in legal fees to keep his birth certificate private because it declares him to be an atheist or to have no religion?"img


One downimg 279 to go!


How does Andyland react to a DDoS attack and resulting worldwide 403 blocks? "Conservapedia has broken its March record for the number of unique visitors!!"img


Andy: Barack Obama finally produces his birth certificate!img lawls!