Forum:Nerd support group

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There are a lot of people owning up to nerdliness. For example Gerard[1]. Here we can talk about mustering the desire to do stuff that is better for our health or pleasure, than vexing our fellow nerds.

Upon entering the support group, it is customary to say your nerdonym, confess you are one of us, and indicate your species. Let's begin.

I am Lumenos the Lagnificent, and I am a nerdog. (Next you say in unison, "Live in hope of prospering, nerdog.") I love no one like my animi (animus/anima[2]) and I want to join secret society of yeti scientists. <A moment of silence and uncomfortable glances around to see if that was cool/permissible. If so, ey may not be one of us.> ~ Lumenos 15:49, 14 August 2010 (UTC)

Hello, my name is Armondikov. It's been 6 months since I played my last table top RPG. I know with the help of this group, I'll be able to stay clean for 6 more! ^sshole 16:09, 14 August 2010 (UTC)

And if we searched your top dresser drawer we wouldn't find a baggie filled with oddly sided die? tmtoulouse 16:12, 14 August 2010 (UTC)

I used to marvel at the 100 sided die a friend of mine had. He became my martial arts teacher and later joined the military or something. Miracles can happen. Why don't we take that first step and buy a gun? No wait, I uh... need to check the handbook. The first step is talking about our premature suicidal feelings. ~ Lumenos 07:04, 15 August 2010 (UTC)

Hello, I'm Phantom Hoover. Two days ago, I gave in an wrote a quasi-monadic IO system for Lazy K in my spare time. Regrettably, I do not have the force of will to abstain from weird little esolangs. Mindless evil Phantom! 18:46, 14 August 2010 (UTC)

Hey man, this isn't a place to surreptitiously brag about everything you know about computers. Rule of thumb, if it can get you laid, it isn't nerdy. This group is for people with real issues. How much of your diet consists of nose goober? Didn't think so. Fregan geeks and their 5ci11z. ~ Lumenos 07:04, 15 August 2010 (UTC)

Strange place for Lumenos' most coherent edit to date. Tiatton of (talk) 08:36, 15 August 2010 (UTC)

I might be able to help you people. I have never held nor rolled an odd shaped die, played any card game the doesn't have a gambling element nor have I ever entertained the idea of playing WoW. Ace^X-102 07:49, 15 August 2010 (UTC)

Yes, Sir! As certified Lost Jerk-offs, you certainly know what it is like. How do you cope with this on day to day basis? Caffeine? Do you use daily affirmations before the mirror?

~ Lumenos 19:56, 15 August 2010 (UTC)

How in the hell does that get someone laid? ^sshole 08:17, 15 August 2010 (UTC)

I have no idea. I can say categorically that I have not gotten laid, or indeed even the slightest bit of interest, from it. Mindless evil Phantom! 22:53, 16 August 2010 (UTC)

Was that question directed to me? Ace^X-102 09:23, 15 August 2010 (UTC)

No, to the idea that bragging about computers gets you some. Real life doesn't work like The Big Bang Theory. ^sshole 09:29, 15 August 2010 (UTC)

Umm upon reflection I'm going to have amend my most coherent of edits. I do believe I have been flirted heavily when my computer repair/install 5ki112 were requested. Single milc requested that I "come over" to "fix" their "computer". You find out what that means when she suddenly decides to apply copious amounts of fragrant moisturizer to her hands, right in front of you; the glistening hands massaging each other and pulling over the fingers with excruciating deliberance. It's cool, I managed to make it out of there without touching any bodily fluids. I'm still one of us.

If there is a much easier way to actually satisfy some need/pleasure, with your standard Windoze monopoly issue (or any prepackaged program), and you choose instead to embark on great obsessive compulsive mission to do the same thing with some obscure software (which you wrote yourself), this could qualify as nerdliness, and I must apologize to PhatThom. ~ Lumenos 19:56, 15 August 2010 (UTC)

Well, Lumenos, I don't know about you, but no hot chicks have ever asked me to "come over" to "explain" "category theory" to them. Mindless evil Phantom! 07:37, 17 August 2010 (UTC)

Hmm how about "hot chicks"? The other possibility is that "category theory" might be converted to cash and this converted to hot chicks. Have you tested your theory in any seedy pickup joints or perhaps a craigslisting such as "computer tutor looking for love"? Most of our problem is simply advertising; the thousands of available [nerd] chicks are all around us but don't know we exist.

I'll allow you to stay on a probationary basis, but if we find any practical application for these "Lazy K's", "category theories", etc, you'll have to go to tech support group. ~ Lumenos 16:17, 17 August 2010 (UTC)

Hello, I'm Radioactive afikomen, and I still play Pokemon. I do not see this as a problem. Radioactive afikomen ^{Please ignore all my awful pre-2014 comments.} 22:23, 15 August 2010 (UTC)

That's what we are looking for; divine superfluousity. The first step is admitting your problem with recognizing your problem. You set a fine example. Live in hope of prospering, pokenerd. ~ Lumenos 21:10, 16 August 2010 (UTC)

Hello, I'm InsaneBookBadger. I wear glasses and play DnD. Last night, I stayed up until 4:30 AM writing my first piece of fanfiction in two years. I am terribly ashamed of my relapse - I really thought I had put it behind me! InsaneBookBadger (talk) 02:28, 18 August 2010 (UTC)

Oh the deep nerdungeons we create. I feel your boredom. I'm not so sure of glasses. It is probably a nerdy genetic defect, but it is rather geeky to overcome a defect with technology. It seems you are using those eyes for nerdy pursuits however. Live in hope of prospering, nerdungeon. ~ Lumenos 19:08, 18 August 2010 (UTC)

Hello, my name's crundy and I'm a nerd. I last built a computer 1 year and 4 months ago. I've been clean for a while but today I had a relapse and built a nitrate reactor for my fish tank. With your help I'll get over this, I'm just taking things one day at a time. Crundy^{Talk nerdy to me} 13:20, 5 January 2011 (UTC)

Hmmm computer building can be nerdy when any geek knows it is rarely economical. Nitrate reactor you say? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpiZDy6DQls fascinating; Google, YouTube and WP will not tell me WTF it does! ~ Lumenos (talk) 13:37, 12 January 2011 (UTC)

[3] It's just a bottle with special stones (SeaChem De-Nitrate) in that provide an anaerobic environment for clostridium bacteria to grow which break nitrates down into nitrogen gas. Crundy^{Talk nerdy to me} 13:44, 12 January 2011 (UTC)

Z'it for fiSheS? ~ Lumenos (talk) 14:11, 12 January 2011 (UTC)

Hello, I'm SuperJosh and I'm a borderline nerd. I'm not a smart nerd at all; I was never an A-student, and I instead find myself more in the B/B- range. It first started when I signed up to RationalWiki and, unable to think up a cool pseudonym, instead put the word "Super" in front of my name. Then after I started university, a sonofabitch IRL introduced me to World of Warcraft. This was prolonged unnecessarily when a user here encouraged this behaviour throughout several Skype conversations. While I play very irregularly, and only subscribe to it when exceedingly bored and have no work to do, I once said to the sonofabitch who introduced me to it during a ten-hour marathon, "I've got to sort out my mana problems. I'm more concerned about them than my erection problems." However, I drink and smoke a lot, and enjoy football, which I think cancels a lot of this out. SJ ^Debaser 14:34, 12 January 2011 (UTC)

Emergency meeting

Grand Supreme Ruler has used the trusty potion to lure one into intermediate territory.[4] The excitement builds as we watch the master at work... or so we like to think. The intermediate territories may seem to be a modest and worthwhile investment leading to the non-expense zone, but she may indeed cast a visual/auditory enchantment that will force him into full blown shopping center. Rather than the beginning of a royal family, this could be the end of RatWiki as we know it. Let's get a reading on those enchantment levels <rolls dice>... 58. Dang! Roll for his current generosity... 78. Crap! Draw a card for compatibility sensors... the juggling midget. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?!? ~ Lumenos (talk) 12:16, 27 December 2010 (UTC)

Blah!

A herd of nerds!
They're unheard
and not preferred!

So uncool!
They know the joule
But no April fool

They wank
and stink
but do not drink.
They're weird
and smeared.

--Idiot number 58 (talk) 13:49, 27 December 2010 (UTC)

Big deal, you know about line-breaks. Didn't think I could read your code did you g33ker? Trying to say you are better than us? I wonder why the poem tag doesn't work at RW.

Huum it seems true, nerds aren't much into alcohol or "drugs" unless they be prescribed. Drugs only get in the way of nerdliness. Huum what do you call intellectual alchies... oh yes, Brits! ~ Lumenos (talk) 22:38, 3 January 2011 (UTC)