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A day in the life of an atheist
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Tired of laughing? RationalWiki has a slightly more serious article about Atheism. |
Atheist ideology makes them very busy. Here is just a bit of what they have to go through:
| 6:66 AM | Pray to Satan. (Goat sacrifice preferred but not required.) |
|---|---|
| 7:10 AM | Eat prayer crackers for breakfast. Use Bible as napkin. |
| 8:00 AM | Drive to work. Curse in God's name at every red light. |
| 8:30 AM | Arrive at your atheist public school, where you brainwash Christian children, because you hate good Christian values. |
| 9:00 AM | Prevent humble Christian children from standing to the pledge of allegiance, because you hate God. |
| 9:05 AM | Corrupt good Christian children by teaching them about |
| 12:20 PM | Prevent humble Christian children from praying during lunch, because you hate God. |
| 12:25 PM | Eat goat (roasted over burnt Bibles) for lunch. |
| 12:45 PM | Pray to |
| 12:50 PM | Take a shit. Use the Bible as toilet paper, because you hate God. |
| 1:00 PM | Corrupt good Christian children by teaching them about contraception, because you want to kill unborn babies. |
| 3:00 PM | Prevent humble Christian evangelists from preaching aloud and handing out Bibles, because you hate God. |
| 4:00 PM | Attend a Parent-Teachers Association meeting. |
| 4:10 PM | Prevent humble Christian evangelists from opening meeting with a prayer, because you hate God. |
| 4:25 PM | Join the FFRF in blocking a motion for mandatory school prayer, because you hate good Christian morality. |
| 4:40 PM | Block a motion for mandatory creationist teachings, because you hate sound science. |
| 4:55 PM | Move to punish bullying of gay and trangender kids (as well as of your very own atheist child), because you hate righteous Christians. |
| 5:00 PM | When your motion fails, curse in God's name. |
| 6:00 PM | As you leave work, tear down posters mentioning Christmas, because you hate political incorrectness. |
| 6:05 PM | Stop to piss on the flagpole, because you hate America. |
| 6:30 PM | Attend drug and gay sex party in a humanist church. |
| 6:40 PM | Pray to pleasure, your true god. |
| 7:30 PM | At the party, bribe scientists in every field to hide evidence that the Earth is 6000 years old, because you hate sound science. |
| 9:15 PM | Eat bananas (roasted over the remains of Noah's Ark) for dinner. |
| 9:40 PM | Force your state legislature to shove abortion and gay marriage down good, righteous Christian throats, because you hate religious freedom. |
| 10:30 PM | Curl up in an armchair with a mug of cocoa to read the God Delusion and works by Richard Dawkins, your true god. |
| 12:00 AM | Pray to Darwin, your true god. |
| 12:10 AM | After a light snack of aborted fetal tissue, retire to bed. |
| 3:00 AM | Wake up and Break the Sabbath. |
| 3:30 AM | Under the cover of night, plant fake dinosaur and Neanderthal fossils in the ground. |