A day in the life of an atheist
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Atheist ideology makes them very busy. Here is just a bit of what they have to go through:
|Pray to Satan. (Goat sacrifice preferred but not required.)
|Eat prayer crackers for breakfast. Use Bible as napkin.
|Drive to work. Curse in God's name at every red light.
|Arrive at your atheist public school, where you brainwash Christian children, because you hate good Christian values.
|Prevent humble Christian children from standing to the pledge of allegiance, because you hate God.
|Corrupt good Christian children by teaching them about
|Prevent humble Christian children from praying during lunch, because you hate God.
|Eat goat (roasted over burnt Bibles) for lunch.
|Take a shit. Use the Bible as toilet paper, because you hate God.
|Corrupt good Christian children by teaching them about contraception, because you want to kill unborn babies.
|Prevent humble Christian evangelists from preaching aloud and handing out Bibles, because you hate God.
|Attend a Parent-Teachers Association meeting.
|Prevent humble Christian evangelists from opening meeting with a prayer, because you hate God.
|Join the FFRF in blocking a motion for mandatory school prayer, because you hate good Christian morality.
|Block a motion for mandatory creationist teachings, because you hate sound science.
|Move to punish bullying of gay and trangender kids (as well as of your very own atheist child), because you hate righteous Christians.
|When your motion fails, curse in God's name.
|As you leave work, tear down posters mentioning Christmas, because you hate political incorrectness.
|Stop to piss on the flagpole, because you hate America.
|Attend drug and gay sex party in a humanist church.
|Pray to pleasure, your true god.
|At the party, bribe scientists in every field to hide evidence that the Earth is 6000 years old, because you hate sound science.
|Eat bananas (roasted over the remains of Noah's Ark) for dinner.
|Force your state legislature to shove abortion and gay marriage down good, righteous Christian throats, because you hate religious freedom.
|Curl up in an armchair with a mug of cocoa to read the God Delusion and works by Richard Dawkins, your true god.
|Pray to Darwin, your true god.
|After a light snack of aborted fetal tissue, retire to bed.
|Wake up and Break the Sabbath.
|Under the cover of night, plant fake dinosaur and Neanderthal fossils in the ground.