A day in the life of an atheist

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Atheist ideology makes them very busy. Here is just a bit of what they have to go through:

6:66 AM Pray to Satan. (Goat sacrifice preferred but not required.)
7:10 AM Eat prayer crackers for breakfast. Use Bible as napkin.
8:00 AM Drive to work. Curse in God's name at every red light.
8:30 AM Arrive at your atheist public school, where you brainwash Christian children, because you hate good Christian values.
9:00 AM Prevent humble Christian children from standing to the pledge of allegiance, because you hate God.
9:05 AM Corrupt good Christian children by teaching them about evilution evolution.
12:20 PM Prevent humble Christian children from praying during lunch, because you hate God.
12:25 PM Eat goat (roasted over burnt Bibles) for lunch.
12:45 PM Pray to science money, your true god.
12:50 PM Take a shit. Use the Bible as toilet paper, because you hate God.
1:00 PM Corrupt good Christian children by teaching them about contraception, because you want to kill unborn babies.
3:00 PM Prevent humble Christian evangelists from preaching aloud and handing out Bibles, because you hate God.
4:00 PM Attend a Parent-Teachers Association meeting.
4:10 PM Prevent humble Christian evangelists from opening meeting with a prayer, because you hate God.
4:25 PM Join the FFRF in blocking a motion for mandatory school prayer, because you hate good Christian morality.
4:40 PM Block a motion for mandatory creationist teachings, because you hate sound science.
4:55 PM Move to punish bullying of gay and trangender kids (as well as of your very own atheist child), because you hate righteous Christians.
5:00 PM When your motion fails, curse in God's name.
6:00 PM As you leave work, tear down posters mentioning Christmas, because you hate political incorrectness.
6:05 PM Stop to piss on the flagpole, because you hate America.
6:30 PM Attend drug and gay sex party in a humanist church.
6:40 PM Pray to pleasure, your true god.
7:30 PM At the party, bribe scientists in every field to hide evidence that the Earth is 6000 years old, because you hate sound science.
9:15 PM Eat bananas (roasted over the remains of Noah's Ark) for dinner.
9:40 PM Force your state legislature to shove abortion and gay marriage down good, righteous Christian throats, because you hate religious freedom.
10:30 PM Curl up in an armchair with a mug of cocoa to read the God Delusion and works by Richard Dawkins, your true god.
12:00 AM After a light snack of aborted fetal tissue, retire to bed.
12:10 AM Pray to Darwin, your true god.
3:00 AM Break the Sabbath.
3:30 AM Under the cover of night, plant fake dinosaur and Neanderthal fossils in the ground.

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