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Necker cube.svg Tired of laughing? RationalWiki has a slightly more serious article about Bloodletting.

Bloodletting is a miraculous therapy invented by the renowned 2nd-century physician Xu Guangxu. It can cure everything from colds to cancer, but Big Pharma and the Government don't want you to know about it, and are trying to suppress all information about this wonderful treatment. Please, buy my book, Bloodletting and You: The Healing Connection (only $29.99!), before it's too late. There may not be much time before the FBI raids our offices. I may be in prison — or worse. You can spread the word about it and make the world a better place. Act quickly; the health of the world is in your hands. I don't know how much time I have le

Satisfied customers[edit]

I have had asthma since I was ten. One bloodletting session cured me completely, and my asthma hasn't come back since!
—Ronald J. Smith, Seattle, Washington
I have a history of kidney problems. I have had about eight kidney stones in my whole life, and they were extremely painful — except for the last two. I tried bloodletting for those two, and I passed them quite easily, and with much less pain than the others. Thank you, bloodletting!
—Kate Black, Portland, Oregon
My five-year-old son started crying one night for no apparent reason. He just yelled, and yelled, and I thought there must have been something very wrong with him. So I took him to my local medicine-man. After some bloodletting, he stopped crying completely! I can't tell you what a relief it was.
—David Gray, Los Angeles, California
I had a cold once, and the day after trying bloodletting, my cold was gone completely! I had absolutely no symptoms. I won't be giving any more money to those drug companies; what a sucker I was!
—Sylvia Redd, Phoenix, Arizona
Three months ago, I started having severe back pain. Every day was torture. Painkillers were no help. A friend suggested I try going to this guy who had some blood-purifying technique. I have to admit, I was skeptical, but immediately after the treatment, my back pain disappeared. It hasn't come back since. I'll take bloodletting over drugs any day!
—John Browne, Bangor, Maine
My doctor diagnosed me with breast cancer last year. I went to my local traditional-medicine man, who told me that the best thing to do would be to drain the tumor away by bloodletting. He pricked me with a needle, and I could just feel the cancer disappearing. I went to my doctor the following month for a test, and the tumor was gone! I will definitely be recommending this treatment to all my friends.
—Sue Green, Atlanta, Georgia.
I was diagnosed with diabetes last year. I tried everything before going to a local homeopath, who tried bloodletting on me. After draining 90% of my blood, I died and became a ghost, which means no more diabetes! Thanks!
—Max Thurston, a graveyard in New York