Fun:Evilution

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There is great deal of panic, for the pseudoscience of Evilution is growing in popularity! We must prepare our 100% true, factual arguments, copy-pasted from Answers in Magic, and the Cover-up institute. Here is a guide on how to battle the Evilution Menace:

  • Make it clear that "evolution" is actually pronounced "EEEEEEEEEE-vil-ution".
  • Tell people that EEEEEEEEEEvilution is evil, because it is pseudoscience that corrupts our minds with socialism, darwinism and fascism!
  • When they ask why, say that it has never been observed.
  • If they present evidence, call them an evil, atheistic Darwinist and a CommieNazi.
  • If they don't provide any evidence for evilution, convert them to Christianity by telling them that they must repent to Jesus by muttering to themselves praying piously for forgiveness and protection. If they don't believe your incredible claims of eternal life in heaven after death, tell them they'll burn forever in hell.

Make sure that you can resist logical arguments with sound evidence; the golden rule here is to remember these things:

  • They are liberals, and thus will spread deceit.
  • You are a conservative, and this makes you superior to others.
  • God told you that evolution is evil, and God does not tell lies, so EEEEEEEEEEVILUTION is EEEEEEEEEEVIL!!!1ONE
  • If they ever stump you with a question, just throw up your hands and say "Goddidit," smiling smugly.

The Church of EEEEEEEEEEvilution[edit]

The churches of evilution are: high schools, universities, libraries, and certain deceitful liberal websites. They teach lies about how humans came from monkeys. They tell us that modern bacteria just popped out of nowhere, as a product of random chance. But we, good God-fearing conservative Christians, know better than that! God created everything in 6 days, 6,000 years ago. Anything else is heresy and is incredibly offensive and wrong. However, the Cover-up Institute has found a way to stop this evilution menace! Over several years, we are to present our sound Creation Science to the Department of Education, and say that not teaching the Scientific Fact of Intelligent Design, along with the Theory of Evilution, is unscientific, and is a restriction of our free speech.

Youtube Propaganda Creationism[edit]

We creationists can use the internet, just as well as those darn LIEberals can! Let's spread the Good Word of God having made everything in six days. We'll be able to support our claims using the most logical book in the world: <drumroll> THE BIBLE!!! Who can argue with us now? In fact, nobody can! So you can turn off all comments and ratings, just to show how being critical of God's Book gets you nowhere. If anybody uses parts of your videos in their own videos, and shows them in a negative light, e-mail them, and threaten to sue them for violations of the DMCA.

History of evilution[edit]

Eeeeeeeeevilution has been against the pseudo science of creationism ever since its iiiiiiinception.