Fun:Glenn Beck

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Free of facts, free of facts. Thank God Almighty we're free of facts. —Glenn Beck at 8-28 Lincoln Memorial Act impersonating Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Sir Mentally Insane Becky Glenn, known to Americans as Glenn Beck is the modern counterpart to Joseph Goebbels with his evil propaganda and his chalkboard of doom that proved such things as "2+2=FISH" and "It's spelled EKonomiX." Beck is bad at spelling and loves to drink beer and is a Mormon who often pushes religion on his awful television and radio shows.

Beck smokes, does pornography, and eats onion rings to his death, as he admitted this on his shows and his propaganic "bestseller" Arguing with Idiots (spelled with a backwards "R" since Beck is dyslexic). He is also famous for being a secret lover of Bill O'Reilly and possibly Sean Hannity.

He has been known for propagating on chalkboards by writing messages like "homework is lame", "skool is 4 chumps" (Why he dropped out of high school) and "Mr. Smith sucks eggs".

His show, egotistically titled Glenn Beck, has said such things as "the death penalty is what is keeping America safe", "Corporal punishment is the best way to take care of our kids", "Barack Obama is a Muslim born in Kenya" (Wait, all Fox News shows claim this), and "Glenn Beck is your Lord and Savior right after Jesus Christ (or at least the version portrayed on the show)". He also uses it to force his religious views. That's why the Chalkboard of Doom is there.

He has written several idiotic books such as An Inconvenient Book, a cheap shot at Al Gore, Arguing with Idiots, where he argues with himself, Christmas Sweater, a sappy memoir, Glenn Beck's Common Sense, an obvious oxymoron, and most recently, The Overton Window, a cheap shot at Barack Obama.

Obama criticism is rampant on Beck's show. He has made some legitimate points such as Obama's spending has gone out of control. However some points are ridiculous and sometimes slanderous such as "Obama is a Nazi", "Obama is a commie", "Obama is a socialist (Which to a degree is true, like Bush is an authoritarian)", "Obama is a Stalinist", and "Obama is a fascist". Anyway, the point is, Beck gives this guy many political labels with differences that he treats all the same. Socialist is probably the least inaccurate.

Beck hates his mother, wife, kids, and friends since they do not share his radical views. Beck is a chalkboard wielding jerk.

Some say that Glenn Beck may have murdered a young girl after raping her in 1990. These rumors are of course unsubstantiated, but hey, I'm just asking questions here. I'd heard somewhere he's spent $100s of millions trying to keep people from learning about this in a courtroom, but the non-rapist certificate has yet to be shown to the general public. You have to wonder what is he hiding? Certainly if he wasn't a murdering rapist, he could show everyone his non-murder-non-rapist certificate?

Beck is a right-wing radio fanatic and uses it to attack those he disagrees with (the people with an IQ above 100). He also hates Michael Jackson for some reason as Jackson was lampooned by Beck immediately after his death. He also is "against censorship", but he censors truth on Jackson (or anything else, for that matter).

Beck will die, probably due to a heart attack, as he says he eats a load of artery-clogging junk food. Or we can send him to Iraq to be hanged.

Necker cube.svg Tired of laughing? RationalWiki has a slightly more serious article about Glenn Beck.