Movies

Then there are all those assholes with crinkly foil bags and crackly plastic bags and then they saunter out of the theater praising the cinematography, pretending to know what it means, while getting the way of people like me who just want to get out the urban death maze that is the modern day cinema complex.

In New York we do not tolerate crinkly bags. At least, I don't. The biggest assholes are the people who use their cell phones.

Use their cellphones? I'd beat the living shit out of anyone who dared do so.

Yes! I need you.

*widens eyes*

I, er, need you here.... people like you, that is...

There's no one like me, we have already been over this. Anyways, I am currently tied up beating this shit out of people who don't indicate when changing lanes.

I think there should be another horn that instead of honking, blasts the word "DOUCHEBAG." I would use that a lot. Presumably everyone would. Might stop some rage accidents.

Should be like that TV show Wacky Races. Then we could have buttons for flame throwers, oil-slick, smoke clouds and the like.

I may not know anything at all about motor vehicles, and while that definitely seems helpful, I've just got this nagging feeling that it might make things worse.

Worse? Or better!