User:MadmanJohnson/Comic Sans

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Testing out a new experiment in Poe's Law using the amazing power of snark, stupidity and confusion. Please note that the following is meant to be parody. It will update to adapt into a final, overly surreal crazy form of madness meant to break through Poe's law like a glass ceiling.

In Comics Sans, the embodiment of the shark's hatred for man is finally given a voice in the form of a shockingly easy-to-read font. After all, Sharks are well-known players of Calvinball. No rules=!ripping each other apart over such petty things as if "Rugby isn't violent enough" and "Football is for pansies." And other things like "Who gets out of mom first".

I for one, welcome our new Shark Overlords with their shining golden fins! If we distill the essence of shark into a equation..... I like to call this...the..

Calvinball's uncertainty principle.

If we take the the distilled essence of Calvinball and apply it to the minds of our shark overlords, divide it by the near-infinite variable of Stupidity, we get a equation that can easily be used to describe politics.

Sharks are evil, evil, creatures that know no little to love for their friends,enemies and others.

A politician is a creature that will rip apart any or all rules to shit if they feel threatened.

Vogons are the end result of a bad politician.


Now applying the Calvinball's uncertainty principle to these three axioms, we can determine, while true in some cases, these three are not universal. This means these three may cause conflict, mostly among the parties mentioned.

Using this principle....we can then apply it to any idea that will cause conflict.In all situations. No exceptions.

The Crocoduck Equation[edit]

Now using the Calvinball Uncertainty principle, we apply this to the beloved Crocoduck. Now assume this...

2+Torture=5

See! Math! Now let's apply the Calvinball Uncertainty principle to it!

2+Calvinball+Crocoduck+Torture=?

See, the result is uncertain! Nobody knows the answer! You can't prove that! Science!

The great teacher Skythulhu and it's teaching on war[edit]

In the darkest dreams of mankind, there is a place and way to determine a method to the seeming gibbering madness of it all. However, then came the depraved madness of strangeness crossed with insanity crossed with Albert Einstein's hair turned into tentacles crossed with bad grammar.

It was Skythulhu, maddening ruler of all that he saw in his dreams of mankind! Slowly rising out of his house made entirely out of horrid metal bands, Skythulhu declared a war on mankind! All of sudden, all of the formerly competent world leaders just threw up their hands and sighed as Skythulhu played horrible songs at all who opposed him. The military, shocked at this amazingly stupid turn of events, surrendered! Soon, great Skythulhu formed a undead massed army of the casualties risen from all the depravities of 4chan, thus killing each and every one on Earth.

Skythulhu lay down to sleep, perchance to dream of badly quoted playwrights.

Evolution threw up it's hands and went "Shit", then got back to work making far less productive, but safer creatures. It also considered why it was personified in this story, considering the idiotic nonsensical stuff that went on. It then played the oh-so happy song "Rolling on the River" and read the great seminal works of the great god of hilarious boredom PowderSmokeAndLeather.

The idiot of a author was killed, his babble silenced for the time being. The little cult that had formed, dedicated merely to hating him dissolved. It was regarded as quite the bad idea, the "Church of Formerly Killing MadmanJohnson".

And the universe barely noticed.