User:Rairyu75/sandbox/Viktor Orbán Rewrite

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Putin's biggest fanboi.
The dictator is coming. *Salutes with cheeky grin* Dictator!
—The ever prescient Jean-Claude Juncker, cracking a joke.[1]

Viktor Orbán (born 1963) is a suspected Sith Lord[2] and the current prime minister of Hungary. An advocate of freedom and liberty in his youth and an advocate of oppression and conservatism in his dotage,[3] Vitkor has been described by various parties as a racist,[4] a homophobe,[5] a thug,[6] and a neo-fascist[7] - but the truth is that he is none of those things. Because in order for a man to believe in something he must have ideals he holds dear - and Viktor disposed of such burdens many decades ago. He is a demagogue,[8] a hollow shell masquerading as a man, willing to say whatever he believes will keep him in power and money. If tomorrow the people of Hungary decided that they will vote for the smelliest politician in the country, he would smear himself in shit to win their favour. He lies as easily as he breathes and is so greedy he would sell his grandmother's walking cane for a quick buck.[note 1]

The many faces of Viktor Orbán[edit]

Viktor as the defender of Europe[edit]

Heroes need villains to fight; and if there are none for them to fight, they need to invent some. Due to Hungary's long history of being invaded by conquering nations the electorate likes to feel threatened by external forces and is somewhat paranoid about foreigners.[9] Orbán taps into this fear and paranoia by painting people fleeing war and suffering as invaders who are coming to destroy the lives of ordinary decent Hungarians.[10] Once the electorate has bought into the idea that these enemies are out to get them he can present himself as their saviour, a heroic man who will shield them from harm.[11] By passing anti-immigration laws and building walls to keep the foreigners out of the country[12] Viktor can compare himself to the Christian kings of old Hungary, who have defended Christian Europe for many centuries.[13]

The refreshing taste of Orange Fanta Fi.De.Sz = Fiatal Demokraták Szövetsége (Alliance of Young Democrats). Not all that young these days though. Or democratic.

Except, wait, no! Europe sucks!!![edit]

Despite his "Defender of Europe" shtick Viktor and the EU don't get along particularly well these days, although that's by design; he takes the money that the EU gives him and spends it on "national consultation pamphlets"[14] and "educational poster campaigns"[15] which make it seem like the EU is meddling in Hungary's internal affairs. The propaganda makes the citizens dislike Brussels and this, in turn, makes Brussels dislike Orbán. He then plays the victim, blaming the EU for EVERYTRHING under the sun. From the way he tells it you'd think every time someone slips on a bannana peel the EU was behind it.[16]

Viktor Orbán vs George Soros: The Fight of the Century[edit]

Something something, Jews are hiding under my bed. (Talk about his anti-Semitic shite)

Viktor as Mr. Sexy Time[edit]

Viktor is obsessed with the sex lives of his citizens. Hungary has an aging[17] and declining population[18], which is pretty worrying from an economic standpoint. The only solution to this problem, clearly, is perpetually telling people to have more kids.[19]

According to Orbán, the godless liberals have ruined traditional families by not being mean enough to the gays, while simultaneously seeking to replace good upstanding Hungarians with migrants.[20] To counter this the Orbán government goes out of its way to throw money at large families in the form of tax breaks and subsidies[21], offers free fertility treatments[22] and vigorously denies same sex couples the rights that their heterosexual counterparts enjoy.[23][24]

Viktor Orbán: International Rock Star of Right Wing Crap[edit]

Corporate needs you to find the difference between these two guys...

Viktor is absolutely adored by his foreign counterparts,[25][26] and is something of a celebrity in right wing circles.[27][28] To those who genuinely buy into his hard-line authoritarian and nationalistic rhetoric, he is like a defender of Christianity, traditional masculinity, and (presumably) sexy M&MS.[note 2][29] The sight of a raging homophobe running a country brings a lot of comfort to the people who are terrified of the scary gays. And for the demagogues who don't really buy into this sort of crap his success is like a template for what they, too, can one day achieve - power, fame and wealth; all for the cheap price of one's soul.[30]

Viktor Orbán as a borderline fascist[edit]

Fascism as an ideology is pretty hard to pin down - not to mention the fact that the word is overused, to the point where it's almost meaningless. With that said, historians have provided some useful lists of characteristics which fascists tend to display.

Orbán has been accused of being a fascist, or something close to it at least[31] - how many of the boxes does he tick?

  • Nostalgia for a mythical past: Check. Viktor never shuts up about the past or how unfairly Hungary has been treated by other countries. Regardless of what problems Hungary faces in the present he will draw parallels back to past tragedies. He constantly references the Treaty of Trianon[32] and promotes the idea of Greater Hungary[33] to remind his base that the wider international community doesn't care about the average Hungarian.[note 3] The EU politely asks Hungary to do something? Bring up Soviet occupation and compare Brussels to Moscow![34] Refugees at the borders? Nothing a few mentions of Ottoman occupation won't solve.[35]
  • An obsession with racial purity: Check. Orbán's regime thrives on a "them vs. us" narrative. He bullies Hungary's Roma minority,[36] bashes Muslims on the regular[37] and is fond of anti-Semitic dog whistles.[38] He also very publicly and unambiguously promotes the great replacement conspiracy theory.[39] He is notorious for bashing mixed race people, claiming that countries where race mixing is allowed to happen are on the edge of extinction.[40] He gives speeches in which he claims that people in Africa are gleefully rubbing their hands at the prospect of "diluting" Hungary:
Forces are appearing, the like of which the world has not seen for a long time. In Africa there will be ten times as many young people as in Europe. If Europe does nothing they will kick down the door on us. Brussels is not defending Europe and it is not halting immigration, but wants to support it and organise it. It wants to dilute the population of Europe and to replace it, to cast aside our culture, our way of life and everything which separates and distinguishes us Europeans from the other peoples of the world.[41][42]
2022 Election Results:[43]
  Fidesz (Viktor's party) - 54.1% of votes
  Egységben Magyarországért (the opposition parties in a united coalition) - 34.4% of votes
  Mi Hazánk (the actual fascists) - 5.9%
  Miscelaneous - 5.6%
  • Abandonment of democratic liberties: Check - with a few caveats. Reporters without borders classifies Viktor as a "predator of press freedom"[44][note 4] due to the way he gutted the Hungarian media landscape. Unlike someone like Donald Trump who steers public discourse by doing outrageous things and drawing attention onto himself, Orbán deprives his opponents of their rightful platforms by bullying journalists critical of him in the courts. The battleground in the "free marketplace of ideas" is further distorted by the billboards he buys with tax-payer's money/EU funds. By contrast, if his opponents strike back at him in the media very few of the citizens will get to hear about it. His rhetoric in general is contemptuous of pluralistic/liberal values. He has expressed admiration for authroatain countries such as China and Russia.[45] With all that said, however... elections in Hungary DO take place on the regular. And those elections are free and without shenanigans (well, except for the whole, ya know... disparity in resources thing. And the toxicity of the campaigns).[46] Viktor Orbán hasn't stayed in power for this long by pointing a gun at people's heads, and he isn't a dictator - the people turn out to vote for his party[47] and the opposition keeps shooting itself in the foot.[48]

Notes[edit]

  1. The authors of this article may or may not have purchased the item in question.
  2. Something his friend Tucker Carlson feels very strongly about, apparently.
  3. Neither does he, of course, but whatever. EU bad, Orbán Good! EU bad, Orbán Good!
  4. The only one in the entire European Union. As response he claimed that RSF is funded by George Soros. The man is like a broken record.

References[edit]

  1. 'Here comes the dictator' Juncker's cheeky welcome for Hungarian PM from the YouTube channel euronews 22 May 2015
  2. Orbán Viktor Brüsszelből Darth Vadernek látszik 24.hu 17 January 2018
  3. A philosopher’s death and the two realities of Orbán’s Hungary Politico 7 February 2023
  4. Hungary: Opinion Editorial by UN High Commissioner for Human Rights Zeid Ra'ad Al Hussein Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights - United Nations 6 March 2018
  5. EU to Hungary's Orban: Respect LGBT rights or leave Reuters 25 June 2021
  6. A discomfort with Western liberalism is growing in Eastern Europe NPR 4 December 2021
  7. He Used to Call Viktor Orban an Ally. Now He Calls Him a Symbol of Fascism. The New York Times 15 March 2019
  8. Viktor Orban: Hungary's rebel-turned-patriot premier france 24 7 April 2022
  9. The man who thinks Europe has been invaded BBC News 6 April 2018
  10. Hungary's poster war on immigration BBC News 14 June 2015
  11. Pope to Orban’s Hungary: Open your arms to everyone Associated Press News 12 September 2021
  12. Hungary builds new high-tech border fence - with few migrants in sight Reuters 2 March 2017
  13. Hungary Has A Xenophobia Problem NPR 27 April 2018
  14. “Stop Brussels”: European Commission responds to Hungarian national consultation European Commission 27 April 2017
  15. EU slams Hungary campaign posters Deutsche Welle 19 February 2019
  16. How Orbán broke the EU — and got away with it Politico 24 September 2020
  17. An ageing population - Demography of Europe Eurostat
  18. Projection for Hungary's population in the next 20 years Eurostat
  19. Hungary will defend traditional families, stop demographic decline, Orban says Reuters 25 May 2018
  20. Hungary touts family policies as alternative to immigration Associated Press News 5 September 2019
  21. Hungary PM launches election campaign with $2 bln tax refund for families Reuters 20 September 2021
  22. Hungary Says It Will Offer Free Fertility Treatments To Counter Population Decline NPR 10 January 2020
  23. Magyarország Alaptörvénye, L) cikk
  24. Hungary's Constitution, Article L
  25. 'Like me, a little controversial': Trump praises Hungary's anti-immigration PM Orban Reuters 13 May 2019
  26. Putin and Orban reaffirm Russian-Hungarian ties amid international strains Reuters 17 October 2023
  27. Viktor Orbán Conservapedia (WARNING! READING MAY ROT BRAIN!)
  28. Orbán gets warm CPAC reception after ‘mixed race’ speech blowback Politico 4 August 2022
  29. Hungary's Viktor Orban tells Tucker Carlson: 'Western liberals can't accept' right-wing dissent Fox News 5 August 2021
  30. Why Conservatives Around the World Have Embraced Hungary’s Viktor Orbán The New Yorker 10 August 2021
  31. Hungary PM Viktor Orban adviser Hegedus resigns over 'pure Nazi' speech BBC News 27 July 2022
  32. The 100-year wound that Hungary cannot forget BBC News 4 June 2020
  33. Viktor Orbán’s controversial ‘Greater Hungary’ scarf explained The Conversation 30 November 2022
  34. Orbán blasts the European Union on the anniversary of Hungary’s 1956 anti-Soviet uprising Associated Press News 23 October 2023
  35. Hungary’s Orban invokes Ottoman invasion to justify keeping refugees out The Washington Post 4 September 2015
  36. Hungarian top court confirms Roma unlawfully segregated, awards damages Reuters 12 May 2020
  37. Hungary’s PM denounced in Bosnia for anti-Muslim rhetoric Associated Press News 23 December 2021
  38. Viktor Orbán’s anti-Semitism problem Politico 13 May 2019
  39. Hungary’s authoritarian leader is no gift to US conservatives Human Rights Watch 4 August 2022
  40. Viktor Orbán sparks outrage with attack on ‘race mixing’ in Europe The Guardian 24 July 2022
  41. Orbán Viktor’s ceremonial speech on the 170th anniversary of the Hungarian Revolution of 1848 miniszterelnok.hu 15 March 2018
  42. Orbán Viktor ünnepi beszéde az 1848/49. évi forradalom és szabadságharc 170. évfordulóján miniszterelnok.hu 15 March 2018
  43. Poll of Polls - Hungary Politico 2022
  44. Predator: Orbán Viktor Reporters sans frontières 2021
  45. Democracy is on the brink in Hungary, so why is no one talking about it? The Conversation 8 August 2017
  46. Hungarian election wasn’t a fair fight, observers say Politico 4 April 2022
  47. Hungarian PM Orbán set for fourth straight term with big election win Politico 3 April 2022
  48. Hungarian opposition’s ‘forced marriage’ to unseat Viktor Orbán Politico 1 April 2022