Bronze-level articleDeepak Chopra

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As Deepak Chopra taught us, quantum physics means anything can happen at any time for no reason!
Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth
Deepak

Deepak Chopra is the most visible public proponent of "mind-body" woo and alternative medicine. He is also a writer of New Age/self-help spiritual books, that say things like "Look around you at the beauty of the Earth...Wooooo!" and "Look into the beauty of yourself...Wooooo!" Chopra sells something called Ayurvedic medicine, which is apparently traditional Indian medicine filtered through the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and mixed with bad "physics" in order to treat the dangerously low levels of money in Chopra's wallet.

Chopra is a favored contributor at The Huffington Post,[1] and was one of Michael Jackson's sketchy friends.

Almost anything can be cured if you rub enough woo on it, especially if you likes you some quantum woo. If woo alone won't do the trick, it means you've forgotten to put on the Yanni CD.

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[edit] Early life and medical career

Born in New Delhi in 1946 to a respected cardiologist, Chopra initially had much potential in the field of medicine. After becoming an endocrinologist, he taught at Boston and Tufts University and became Chief of Staff at Boston Regional Medical Center. Then, in 1981, he met an Ayurvedic practitioner and entered the lucrative world of mind-body alternative medicine.

[edit] Woo-peddling

Deepak Chopra comes from a long line of pseudo-Hindu spiritualists making money off of gullible Americans, but he is one of the first to successfully merge Eastern ayurvedic woo with Western quantum woo and sell it to a mainstream US audience. Through his whopping 57 self-help books, countless publications in medical-ish journals, and eloquent public speeches, Chopra deeply packs a vast vocabulary of meaningless quantum crap into a small space to confuse victims into buying another book:[2]

We are each a localized field of energy and information with cybernetic feedback loops interacting within a nonlocal field...

Somehow, his millions[3] of supporters (among them Lady Gaga[4]) swallow it whole.

A key concept in Chopra's woo is the Dosha, or "human quantum-body essence," which he can apparently assess with ease by checking a patient's pulse. The balance between the three Doshas in each patient is then corrected with a diet of alternating sweet and spicy foods[5] as well as no doubt expensive treatments available exclusively from Chopra himself.

It should be noted that Dosha is not to be confused with an Indian flatbread often served with vegetable stew and chutney, which is quite delicious (and more substantial than Chopra's writings). It is also unrelated to the British slang dosh, meaning currency, but you would be forgiven for thinking otherwise.

Orac of Respectful Insolence has coined the term "Choprawoo" to refer to his special brand of woo.[6] Michael Shermer calls it "Deepakese."[7] It has also been postulated that the thoughts, and particularly the tweets, of Deepak Chopra are indistinguishable from a set of profound sounding words put together in a random order.[8]

[edit] Religion

Though Chopra's beliefs are fundamentally based on New Age and Hindu syncretism, he is not afraid to embrace other religions, professing his belief in not one, but three iterations of Jesus Christ.[9]

[edit] Million dollar challenge

Chopra decided to try duplicating the Amazing Randi's million dollar challenge, demanding entrants prove that consciousness emerges from physical attributes of the brain instead of whatever quantum woo pleases him any given day[10]. Amusingly, within a week, scientists at George Washington University completed a publication on a section of the brain that regulates the appearance of properties generally understood as consciousness, and could even be stimulated to turn it on and off[11]. It should be fun to see just how fast those goalposts move.

[edit] See also

[edit] External links

[edit] Footnotes

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