Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/May 2011

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May 2011[edit]

96Muphry's law as exemplified by  K e n  D o l l : "The only thing worse than a unmerited criticism is a unmerited criticism that is not well written.img"
68Add "loopholeimg" to the list of concepts too difficult for Andy to understand.
166User: Why are the various (ahem) 'articles' on PZ Myers locked? They haven't been vandalised... Andy: Hmmm, I don't know why. Would you like to edit them?  K e n  D o l l : Why don't you ask PZ Myers why he's so fat!img
58Andy's exams just got even easier: post your answers here!img (Feel free to check what everyone else has written before you do)img
-33251 pixelsimg: just right.
183Found a shrimp fossil on land? "Doctor" Hurlbut thinks that can only be due to the Flood.img And "Professor" Schlafly concurs with an argument by assertionimg. UPDATE! One doesn't have to be a Conservapedia fan to enjoy this train wreck.img
72 Say it aint so, is Conservapedia supporting Vandalism/Trolling?img Quick, call the FBI!
220Andy: One day, TV will be gone and all that will remain is Conservapediaimg
72Add "socialism" and "fascism" to the list of things Karajou doesn't understand.img
22Countless hordes of long-gone parodists the world over feel a tingly sensation in their loins, as Andy reversesimg the legacy of the late TK and re-opens his blog to the world.
72Karajou: Those stupid scientists at the NSF are justifying wasting money on antipodean Jell-O wrestling!img Karajou's source: Not only did the NSF fire the people responsible for the wrestling, it did not even pay for the Jell-O.
-12Reginout: The Trusworthy Spywareimg
133You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of Andy's mind; a journey into a mysterious land where The Officeimg and <capture>The Six Million Dollar Manimg are among the Greatest Conservative TV Showsimg. That's the signpost up ahead — your next stop, the Twilight Zoneimg .
UPDATE: Star Trek,img a program where Earth has given up all national borders, united under a communist world government and eventually became one of the three founding worlds of the United Federation of Planets, giving up even planetary sovereignty and any last vestiges of capitalism[1] is a Conservative show.
78Andy: What? A man with 39 years of public service as the mayor of Chicago, Cook County State's Attorney, and Illinois state senator gets a job at the University of Chicago (an infamously liberal institution for permitting that nobody, Obama, to call himself a "professor") teaching public policy? Must be cronyism!img
24Spain: Socialists lost 7%, "Conservatives" win 2% in regional elections JPatt: Teabaggers in da house!img
128Andy: Assuming that radioactive decay rates have been constant since time began is illogical!img
Andy 14 minutes later: The extinction rate is implausibly high. Therefore, extrapolating backwards...img
114Marco Rubio doesn't fit CP's definitionimg of a natural-born citizen?img Say it ain't so! Andy: Don't say it.img
54Yeah, what kinda idiotimg ranks a candidate so high before they decide not to run (Trump #3)img, or when they haven't announced they're running (Bachmann, new #3)img, or even worse, was never even in the race (Bush, #4)img?!
76Garbage In, Garbage Outimg
92George W Bush? Not a conservative.img
133Andy on May 8thimg: 'Christian' is "a diluted term preferred more by atheists".
Andy on May 18thimg: "In response to Jcw, I think it is because of the smaller devoutly Christian population in England that there is a less militant anti-Christian group. But the anti-Christian group would "bare its teeth" and snarl as soon as it felt the Christians were making gains."
36Breaking news from the future! Newt Gingrich has dropped out of the 2012 Presidential Race!img
209Andy abuses set notationimg to deny gays the right to marry... in a mathematical article.img
118Conservapedia discovers the location of "La-la land"!img Who's the master parodist that managed to sneak this gem in? Oh.img
63JPatt tries to out-crazyimg Ken. He's definitely a close contender.
92If you've ever criticized a Republican you can't possibly be a conservative.img
138If you've ever won a Pulitzer prize you can't possibly be a conservative.img
86Andy: George Will is an idiot because he doesn't read Conservapedia.img
184Andy: Liberals are promoting Princess Diana conspiracy theories!img...Andy 11 hours later: Liberals are censoring Princess Diana conspiracy theories!img
43 God may not be omniscient,img or, Andy might not know what that word means.
73 Give it up Liberals, ANOTHER senator decides not to run for reelection quits.img You don't see Conservatives quitting, do you?
99 Yes, Terry, children see the world as being designed.img They also see Santa Claus as being real.
84In more Proof that Creationists have no idea what they're even arguing against, Ken deletes references to 450 million year old Starfish fossilsimg While retaining mention of them being related to 2 different Classes of Animalimg
205"I typically do not listen to much radio. Conservapedia provides far more substantive information that [sic] radio or television can."img Sometimes these WIGOs just write themselves.
194Conservapedia's guide to love: Does she have a great personality? Check. Does her smile light up your world? Check. Does simply being around her make you forget about everything else in the world and give you the kind of feeling no other person ever could? Check. Does she support state regulation of greenhouse gases? Dump the bitch!img
142Andy: The ratings for potential Republican Presidential candidate and birther Donald Trump's The Apprentice are down; therefore liberals watch too much TV.img
24Andy sez: Obama can't win without Florida, Nevada, North Carolina and Coloradoimg. Florida=29 votes; Nevada=6; NC=15; CO=9; total=59. If the GOP win all those and nothing else, they get 232 votes; Obama would be on 306. So once again, CP fails at basic math.
-40Breaking news: whodathunkit? RobS unblocks Humanimg, of all people. Can he get the 403 block fixed, though?
134Andy: I bet newspapers prefer "Christian" to "Christ"img (because they can totally be used interchangeably). It's a diluted term preferred more by atheists.img Well, guess who's a secret atheist? 1img 2img3img
216A huge flood is threatening people and property all along the length of the Mississippi River, but Andy is more concernedimg with how the media "downplays" the term "flood". This is despite there being 11 uses of the word in his source, ten in Reuters' story, eight in the atheistic BBC's story, etc. UPDATE: User: "Every single news article on the floods that I have seen uses the term 'flood' or some derivative of it."img Andy: You're wrong!img User: I can't tell - are you joking?img MOAR!: Andy: Blah blah blah... secularized languageimg EricAlstrom: Seriously??img
130"Allah" is an English term distinct from "God" or "god". There is nothing to translate term "Allah" to in English; it is English.img
88Rob: [1]img: Because Islam denies the divinity of Christ, their God is not the same as the "Judeo-Christian God". Nice. Pssst. Don't tell the Jews!
46Still bent up about Superman renouncing his American citizenship, Rob Smith declares "Superman was born near Smallville, Kansas.img" ... As long as one disregards the original storyline.
60RationalWikians have a meltdown as they find themselves agreeing with The Swabbie.img
98Two for the price of one. Andy fails at translation and at English.img And a Deather bonus! Also note that this latest MPR item escalates the theory from "Obama is tricking everyone" to "the media's helping out!"
100Andy: Look everyone I'm not the only crazy one! Nearly a quarter of Americans continue to have doubts about whether Obama was born hereimg... Oh, I mean one year ago, before the release of his long-form birth certificate, which has since fallen to 10%. Typical Assfly.
105The revolution is spreading! Following Karajouimg and Iduanimg breaking with the CP line on Osama bin Laden, a new user commentsimg that Andy and  K e n  D o l l  "seem to have little regard for truth, and only want to make all Christians look good and all liberals look bad." Instead of reverting, oversighting and banning, Joaquin steps up to agreeimg! UPDATE: "Librulz are allz a bunch of fat bastards! Hic!"img, retorts Ken.
20D.C. Comics consider revisiting their latest marketing ploy. For everybody's favourite swabbie this translates as, "Librulls dumb! Hur-hur-hur."img Update Apparently, Jpatt was invited to the bris.img
72Thanks to JPratt's illiteracy, even CP admits that Utah's immigration reforms are illegalimg.
93WAAAAAGH!!!img The Kingdom is crumbling! My henchmen are turning on me!img Et tu Brute!img WAAAUGHGHHGH!
59Uh-oh, JacobB is attempting to vandalize CP with relativistic science.img
101"Wikipedia was at one point so partisan" that "right wing people created 'Conservapedia.'" "Right wing peopleimg"??? The term is "wingnut".
96If there's one thing that Andy absolutely won't accept,img it's hearsay testimony by a terrified woman about whether a charismatic cult leader is alive or dead.
98Lenski 2.0?img
168Coming as a surprise to no one, Andy doesn't understand probability or DNA testingimg
170*Sigh*. We all knew this was coming... Andy: Where's the death certificate?img
212Selective blindness from Andy as he declaresimg that Obama's speech contains 'many self-serving references to "me", "my" and "I"'. Word counts are "Me": 2; "My": 3; "I": 10, but how about "We": 40; "Us": 7 and "American people": 6? What about the rich irony in both bitching about Obama not giving credit to Bushimg in that same speech and then taking an implicit swipe at Obama's execution of the military operation while failing to even mention his name in a post headlined in bold: Bin Laden dead.img Scumbags.
105Bin Laden is dead! In other news: Rob takes fourimg wholeimg editsimg to communicate a three-word statement.img Update: He takes anotherimg threeimg editsimg to communicate utter bullshit.
141Well, at least he didn't call us fat.img
210Andy: "Evolutionists are deliberately ignorant because they refuse to admit that the existence of whales disproves evolution." SamRich: "Well actually, the evolutionary history of whales is pretty well understood."img Andy: "A link disputing one of the many examples of my deliberate ignorance has no place in my article about deliberate ignorance!"img
  1. "The economics of the future is somewhat different. You see, money doesn't exist in the 24th century... The acquisition of wealth is no longer the driving force in our lives. We work to better ourselves and the rest of Humanity." - Captain Picard, Star Trek: First Contact