Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/June 2010

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Conservapedia (and religious fundamentalism to an extent) was a major focal point in the early history of RationalWiki, but long ago ceased coming up with new ways to appall and amuse.
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88Vandalizing a wiki? Call the FBI! Vandalizing an expensive billboard? Divine interventionimg!
23 Inactivity in editing does not justify being blocked, Aschlafly, 11:54, 30 June 2010 (EDT)img. (cp:User:CollegeRepublican is safe, too!)
77Lenski Redux:The letter to Douglas Mooimg will be sent out any day now. Should we expect Andy to be mocked again? UPDATE: There, it's gone!img No, hang on I'll change a bitimg.
19Another Schlafly gem:Obama has a consumer confidence index that's too low, Saint Ronnie got a 100 in 1985img the source:The monthly Consumer Confidence Index... uses 1985 as a base year with an assigned value of 100
53People living in glass housesimg should not throw stonesimg
61Well, we can't possibly argue with that, can we?img Oh wait...
59 K e n  D o l l , CP's resident manly man, points out that Charlotte has machismo, Portland doesn'timg and helpfully suggests that machismo-less Richard Dawkins would fit in well in Portland. And in a demonstration of CP's dependence upon rigorous statistical analysis, it's from a survey that was sponsored by a snack food, and (surprise) based partly on its sales statistics, and other useful criteria like "number of home improvement stores" and "pick-up trucks per capita".
82It's official. Conservapedia has branched off from our reality into a parallel universe.img Meanwhile, back in our world...
86Blogger: Here's an entirely hypothetical scenario... Andy: So what if it hasn't actually happened? That won't stop me condemning them!img
0Andy fails to grasp the nuances of sentence structure and announces with apparent joy that banning the banning of guns has been banned.img Or, in other words: The Supreme Court says that you can't ban gun control. ...So does this mean that gun control wins?
89According to Andy, the US lost to Ghana because of American feminismimg and Ghanaian prayer.img (yet apparently England lost to the US due to atheism).
72 K e n  D o l l  to Obama: God's not going to help you with the oil if you keep talking to the atheistsimg, a message atheists would typically agree with.
78"Conservapedia is the leader in delivering insights."img
188KevinO: McChrystal broke the rules.img Karajou: Which one?img. RichardTN: This one.img Karajou: Erm, doesn't count, that's not a military source.img BillDunbar: OK, how about this one?img Karajou: Erm, doesn't count, I asked KevinO, not you.img KevinO: Here it is.img Karajou: So what?!img
77'Obama sacked someone?! That's worse than the murder, deportation and imprisonment of thousands of people!'img
161Andy: English Literature is one of the worst college majors; after all, the Virginia Tech killer was studying it!img UPDATE: "Garbage in, garbage out."img Andy elaborates in his usual measured way.
39 More conservative logic brought to you by TK: Rahm Emanuel "expected" to quitimg is the same as him debunking the rumor as "ludicrous".
47 Some delving into the Conservative Bible Project reveals that clearly the word "black" means "brunette"img, which leads to such interesting phrases as "I am a brunette girl, but I am beautiful" and "Brunette as the tents of Kedar". UPDATE: Resident Parodist JacobB puts the kibosh on the funimg Oh also: don't "Stay me with flagons", "Make me strong with raisinsimg.
64Apparently, according to Andy, 'aerobics' is a conservative termimg.
33Obama's resting! How dare he rest! He said he wouldn't rest!img He's probably sneakily eating and sleeping behind closed doors as well, instead of LITERALLY spending ALL his time PERSONALLY cleaning pelicans. (Even God rested on the seventh day...)
64Andy pulls another conservative parableimg out of his ass, because only a conservative would be nice to a kid with cerebral palsy. Note that it is neither conservative, nor a parable.
47Dive for cover, it's a Media Ambush!img Asking Palin about the obscure and little-known "Bush Doctrine" was of course completely unexpected, irrelevant and a trick question. And shame on the interviewer for not explaining to her what the term means! Except that he totally did.
10 Thunderf00t slams NephilimFree and Conservapedia at the same time, challenging Nephy to display his MACHISMO.
56 K e n  D o l l  shamelessly puts a picture of Stalinimg in CP's article on PZ Myers. Way to hold a grudge. UPDATE: "Um, Ken, he's probably not writing any scholarly work on history because he's a biologistimg".
57Barack Obama lacks machismo, just like Richard Dawkins!img
72User: The claim that one gets 33 million hits on a Google search for "anti-Christian"img is 32 million too high. (The article had originally said 1 million, raised to 33 millionimg.) Andy: That's an interesting observation ... (and) begs the question of why.img.
52Go ahead and add cumulative voting to the list of things Karajou doesn't understand.img
64'What Do ObamaCare, Atheism and the U.K.'s National Health Have In Common?img We have no idea, but here's a tragic non sequitur'
146Enabled women to see,img required women to see, Andy shows he isn't one to quibble over those little differences. Late update: saying the spill is 'like an epidemic' really means you think it is an epidemicimg.
88 K e n  D o l l  explores the causal relationship between increasing waistlines and national debtsimg. No news yet, alas, of which nation is the most obese and therefore faces the biggest problem.
53 Ed Poor plumbs the great depths of a romantic comedy and comes up with a typical eloquent and totally nonsensical conclusionimg
51Oh noes! A US politician is claiming to be on a divine mission!img We can't have that, can we?
90The Bible is correct (to 1 s.f.img).
55Andyimg: "Yup...If there were more cookie-baking going on and less pants-wearing, the Mighty Christian Americans woulda beat them Godless Limeys in that so-called 'football' game."
9Part #8925img of the ongoing Conservapedia exposé of appalling biasimg in the left-leaning mainstream mediaimg.
-48Barloq logs into CP and explainsimg he is a Socialist and will most likely be banned. How long before he is? Update: Soon after, oversight!
85Because as we all know, those evil atheists from Canadaimg didn't do too well, did they? UPDATE: Way to move those goalposts Andyimg
31The Huffington Post have tried to hide the fact that a reporter used the term 'whack job' first! putting the reporter's exact words in a highlighted text box, in a larger font, near the start of the article.
56Andy: Who even cares about the "soccer"?img ...well, youimg apparently.img
61Karajerk seems to think that a "copyleft" licence implies "leftist"img politicsimg. A user then points out the ongoing conservapiracy,img only for Jpratt to jump in heroically stating that as the Assfly is a first-rate lawyer, everything is above board here!img UPDATE: Karajou adds "extortion"img to the list of concepts he doesn't understand.
53Karajou: "The effects of liberalism on California:img Lack of proper parenting and the allowing of an "anything goes" attitude may have resulted in a minor being lost at sea." NPR: "They are deeply religious people. They describe themselves as born-again Christians".
68"Everything you post must be true and verifiable." If there's no citation for it, that's because of liberal censorship.img
42Across the world, machismo-lacking rationalists tremble in their Godless boots as  K e n  D o l l  announces he plans to launch another devastating blow against atheism by writing Women's views of Richard Dawkinsimg.
47 K e n  D o l l  suggests that Dawkins lacks an understanding of "manhood". Bold words for a single manimg who has spent the past three years obsessively editing homosexuality-related articles at Conservapedia.img
30Conservapedia hails Australia'simg economic credentials. Pity about the regulated banking industry, socialised health care, liberal government and increasing atheism.
57Pointing out that the Constitution allowed slavery and counted enslaved Blacks as 3/5 of a human being? Liberal pre-conditioningimg.
66The epic of  K e n  D o l l  continues: "I am deciding when and if I will publish a followup work of: Essay: Richard Dawkins still has no machismo!"img However, Ken is fair enough to give Dawkins a month to develop machismoimg. Very considerate.
10With a pictureimg that makes one suspect Steve McGarrett is going to shut down Wo Fat's pro-choice web site, Ken announcesimg a possible massive internet crusade against abortion.
27Andy's new "American Government" class breaks new intellectual ground, coattails!img and promises to cover vital topics such as court casesimg that, quite by coincidence naturally, involve Andy.
59Andy can't get enough of displaying his ignorance about foreign politics, stating that because no Catholic has even been PM of the UK it is "untested" and probably not legalimg. One must suppose the same holds true for a Jewish, Asian, female, Muslim etc. president, as there has never been one of those either.
108TK removes obvious parodyimg - inserted by Aschlaflyimg. It's hard to keep trackimg today, isn't it? Update: TK no longer thinks (and never has thoughtimg) that Aschlafly's insight was silly stuff, needing citationsimg...
18ReligiousRight explains that some pages and edits like this one can't just be edited by anyone and new members aren't allowed toimg hereimg.
33JacobB shows that being a run-of-the-mill suck-up/minion/lackey/sysop isn't enough for him. He wants to be a Ken DeMeyer-grade insaneimg suck-up jerk. It's good to know that the multivariable calculus course is in the hands of such a level-headed person. UPDATE: Revertedimg by TK, who is, on occasion, capable of mature judgment.
34Now we know what separates the men from the boys: correct use of Unicodeimg! Worried doctors are on standby to deal with the testosterone poisoning that would undoubtedly be triggered by discovery of the correct spelling of 'über'.
72Public schools give credit to students who don't even answer the question!img. No reputable educational institution would possibly stoop to such methodsimg: "though declaring war outright may caused us to be defeated outright!" Yeah, how to teach Inglisch.
59Karajou seems incredulous that someone wants to fix errors in a Conservapedia article.img Though he has a point. After 3 1/2 years, why start now?
81Andy, January, reverting parody:img "[The notion that the Banach-Tarski paradox] confirms the multiplication of the loaves is over-the-top, though funny." Andy, June, inserting parody:img "this paradox -- or insight -- bears a striking resemblance to the multiplication of the loaves, which is the only miracle described in all four Gospels." UPDATE Jacob does what he canimg.
51Ed Poor has gotten so bad at writing articles that he doesn't even research the subjects; he'll ask his questions on the article pageimg.
58Obvious parodist ReligiousRight suggests that Andy's students scrawling bible verses on their face before tests to improve their performanceimg. JLatt comments on the postimg, pointing out the obvious parody, but TK objectsimg, and warns him not to make any more personal attacks on ReligiousRight.
114Andy wastes the time of yet another expertimg.
45'When I break the five loaves among five thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up?' They said unto him, 'Twelve.' 'And when the seven among four thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up?' And they said, 'Seven.' 'And He said unto them, 'How is it that ye do not understand?' And they replied, 'Perhaps we need a lesson in multivariable calculus?img'
112Comparing the eleven starting positions in football "soccer" against each other, the US may have a better player in one of them. That makes England the underdogs! The only logical conclusion is that this is the result of rampant atheismimg. UPDATE Apparently, "soccer" isn't really a sport suited to TVimg. Tell that to the 715 million people who watched the 2006 World Cup final, Andy
61The latest Conservative Parable is from the prophet Reagan on the protestant work ethic. One well paid professional to another: "How come you finish the day looking so fresh and bright?" The other: "Because I don't do my jobimg!".
50Andy is either really dishonest, or just really stupid; The epic debate on freshwater lakes: "You keep usingimg that sourceimg. I do not think it means what you think it means.img"
43Jinx quitsimg, says he has a "strong desire" to "minister to men". Also something about sore needs, a firm hand, coming to fruition, and removing certain unspecified "things". Not that there's anything wrong with that...
58BREAKING NEWS! 'The BBC reports that Barack Obama's brother was denied entry to the UK' a story dated 12th April 2009.
81You've got to be shitting meimg - Ed Poor decides to highlight a wonderful ID-backer, and removes that pesky little nugget of information that this "scientist" questions the link between HIV and AIDS.
50Unimpressed with Ed's formidable startimg on Conservapedia's latest entry, our favourite parodist jumps in to flesh outimg the budding article. But after switching a few words around in the first couple of paragraphs in an attempt to hide his blatant plagiarism, JacobB gets bored and just pastes the rest. Update: user calls out the total bullshitimg, but in TK's little world, "I don't see anything identical!"imgAnother update: JacobB trashes the evidence!img and makes another half-assed attempt to cover up his plagiarism!img Only one more paragraph to go!
40So if anybody was wondering why it took so long for Conservapedia to defend Israel's killing of civilians in International Waters, they had to find conclusive proofimg that It's all Obama's fault.
66Black holes are unfalsifiable?img Obvious parody!img I mean, nobody would seriously suggest that, right? Right.img Update: A parodist helps the parodistimg and smacks Jinx aroundimg.
68User: "The founding fathers were deists and the like." Karajou: "Name the deists who were Founding Fathers; I'd love to see it." User: Okay... Karajou: How dare you give me the facts that I've asked for!img
48 Ed Poor makes another brilliant, detailed contribution.img
68Andy: "if the press had publicized the possibility that Gary Coleman died from an alcohol-induced fall, then Ted Koppel's son (who surely follows the media) may have curbed his drinking and saved his life"img
72Good thing Conservapedia has a policyimg forbidding gossipimg, or they might be tempted to gloatimg about the Gores' divorce. Twiceimg Thriceimg.