Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/May 2010

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You read it here first, folks! The EU is going to fall apart because they don't believe in God.img


Andy's creation of insightful new terms continues apace! Last week it was Censorabilityimg, now it's Open source conservativeimg! Will they license their content with the GDFL? Will they get Eric S. Raymond on board?


In Rob Smith's alternate universeimg: "Commander in Chief to skip honoring veterans and the nations (sic) war dead by not attending ceremonies at the Arlington National Cemetery." In our own corner of the multi-verse (AKA, the article Rob cites): "Obama will appear at the Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery outside Chicago, the White House said."


"Barack Obama (is) hoping to clean up the Gulf of Mexico oil spill by throwing a lit cigarette on it and setting it afire."img The More You Know!


Now out in paperback. The Does X have Machismo? Seriesimg. Available at all good stockists. Now. Olé! Olé! Olé!


Ken starts out work on his Anti-socialism projectimg. Answering the big questions in life, such as 'Do Socialists have Machismo?'


Actor Gary Coleman dies of 'Hollywood Values', claims Andyimg. "Is that really the case?"img, asks an editor. "It says so at various unspecified websites on the internet, so obviously it's undeniableimg. I'm just guessing, but that's how I read it anyway"img, says Andy.


Rather than search for rational, albeit complicated, answers that explain the origin of the species, become a Christian - it's easier (AND YOU GET GIFTS)img


While touring the Gulf oil spill area, Obama was photographed inspecting the beach. He obviously wasn't dressed to clean up the area. Therefore he is only pretending to care.img


An ophthalmologist says Richard Dawkins does not correctly understand how the eye works, therefore God created everything.img


Ken: "I am strongly considering doing an open letter to Richard Dawkins at Conservapedia... ...I would have to charge him to debate me as I would do for all other peddlers of nonsense. I think I might cut him a break and only charge him $50 an hour... ...Perhaps, if he agrees to the debate, the hispanic ladies might finally believe he has machismo..."img 'Nuff said.


After Ken substantially improvesimg the "Socialism" article, it's finallyimg eligible for Article of the Monthimg. First things first though...img


RobS with a typical reading comprehension failimg, then on to blatant conservative deceit. Last week, a year ago, meh. Whatever.


Andy has a brilliant new concept, "first discovered here (at Conservapedia)"img, and the stupidity of which we are proud to say was first discovered here at RationalWiki—censorabilityimg. Most exciting of all, it can be quantified! Just like those pillars of erudition Quantifying Mental Strengthimg and Quantifying Openmindednessimg.


A report covering 2000-2008 shows some naughty goings on at the Obama Mineral Management Service.img


Ken launches a stinging attack:"Rationalwiki lacks machismo!!"img Later... "Hahaha I showed them! They didn't even mention homosexuality...!"img(Which someone with real machismo would certainly do....)


Richard Dawkins officially becomes a clown.img


Sarah Palin did interviews? What interviews!img


Rob Smith removes ambiguity by ....creating more ambiguityimg


Despite his radical islamic beliefs, Osama Bin Laden is in fact an atheist.img


So what if he was the principal author of the Declaration of Independenceimg...what has he done for us lately!?


Conservapedia has long been advertised by Andy as a learning resource, but think-tank?img Andy loves it and is ready to solve the country's problems!img The WayBack Machine is up and running: User: 188 suggested this three years ago!img Oh what a way you've come!


Well-known internet user and intellectual heavyweight Ken applies his famous brain to one of the most important questions of our time - "Does Richard Dawkins have machismo?"img Update Someone points out <capture>Ken's complete crap to Andyimg. Ken responds, explaining that any gentleman failing to grasp the nuance and humor of his essay must surely not be true conservative! Meds kick-in, and Ken's response is subsequently oversighted. Hooray! Still 0 in (diagnosed) mental health problems.


What is this Evolution nonsense? It's completely bloody useless!img


More Worst College Majors fun: go awayimg and shut upimg! Is Johnfranklin a Conservative parodying a reasonable personimg? Ken hears him and a Religion degree is now useful if from a conservative collegeimg. Andy: "This blog is not about sources dummy, it's about our random opinionsimg". More: Please stop pointing out my stupidity.img


Conservatives still want to water down the Bill of Rights: Senate candidate Rand Paul (Tea Party-KY) says that in the interest of "freedom of speech" Americans should have tolerated segregation, and Andy thinks the predictable uproar is all a big liberal smear over a "hypothetical questionimg" that the Paulspawn got wrong, so wrong.


It's okay if we're the ones using Stalinist tactics. CP attacks a newspaper for using the "Stalinist tactic" of airbrushing"img, but uses the Stalinist tactic of declaring your opponents to be mentally illimg.


It's always about abortion: Andy cites a source that says the Democrat won on local issues, with the Republican rejected for running on a national conservative platform, but he ignores his own source and says it's all about abortionimg. Bonus: Isn't "pro-life democrat" an oxymoron,img Andy?


A little truthimg comes in. How long until the oversight?


Ken sez "atheism is something I just can't understand...img therefore it must be the work of Satan!img"


Ken calls TK out on his complete bullshitimg Update TK barks at Ken and takes a swipe at...PJR?img Of course TK, being the deceitful monkey-brained freak that he is, oversights the lot.


Karajou doesn't know what he's trying to say. Morgantown, West Virginia's Dominion-Post dubiously airbrushed out three Democrats from a bill-signing photo in a misguided effort to not unfairly increase their exposure as they seek re-election, and Karajou calls out the rag for "lying"img b/c airbrushing is Stalinist and politically correct (unless it's Sarah Palin in Newsweek).


Andy continues his "in the past people built cool stuffimg in religious countriesimg" series with London Tower Bridgeimg, which according to Atheist Wikipedia is often mistakenly referred to as London Bridge. Update: Rcgallup: Andy's wrongimg, PatrickP: "Don't most Englanders call it that anyway?img", Andy: I agree, and cite those nursery rhymes hymns with photos in them"img; far more reliable than the MSM! And apparently the real London Bridge is in Arizona now, but Tower Bridge is in London!img UPDATE Not wanting to be overlooked amongst this stupidity,Ken jumps about, waves his arms and shouts 'look at me!'img


Our favourite Conservapede decides that what CP needs isn't a Welcomeimg template, but rather a Please Fuck Offimg template


Ed creates yet another pointless piece of pop cultureimg before engaging himself in some light chit-chatimg.


Kowardjou reverts an edit because it explains that their quote mine doesn't mean Richard Dawkins agrees with Hitlerimg, only to read it again and realise that the editor shows that Dawkins actually agrees with Stalin and Pol Pot too!img


CP in a nutshell: 'I have no idea what it is, but I'm against it!'img


Liberal Democrat candidate lies about serving in Vietnam -- CP's response: Headline news!img (along withimg famous draft-dodger Dick Cheney's endorsement of Meg Whitman); Conservative "family values" Republican Congressman admits to affair, resigns his office -- CP's response: crickets chirping


No, thisimg is not the equivalent of the FBI Incident.


Pointing out that Obama's birth name couldn't possibly be Soetoroimg is not just bigotry, it's liberal bigotry!img


What's that Andy? A study finds no correlation between class size and learningimg? But it does when you want it toimg?


Andy again, this time doing some slight tweakingimg to a list of undesirable college majors he found on the net.


Andy doesn't understand the difference between correlation and causation: stop saving energy, or you'll decrease our lifespanimg. Maybe he would've liked the health care bill better if it had included subsidies for SUVs.


Slack-jawed head-scratching, because nobody there--certainly not Jinx McHueimg--can remember a time when a partisan conservative hack ever acted out or illegally surveilled because conservatives don't do mean things. "I meant hack e-mail, which is the worst!" Jinx would say if he could talk, but he can't, because he's a robot who types under a name that screams parodist.


Outrage as schools ask for money to pay teachersimg.


Karajoke's at it again: food safety regulation is an appalling government intrusion into people's bodiesimg and the 'Right to Buy Whatever I Want', yet it is "unfortunateimg" that the government cannot force a husband and wife to ditch condoms in their bedroom because there is no 'Right to Privacy'. Contradiction? Na, never.


Andy's new double standard: Why don't liberals criticize the Great Wall of Chinaimg?


Andy's latest what-the-fuckery: "England is not really very English: In parts of inner-London, the schoolchildren who not speak English as their first language now exceed three-quarters. In its entire nation, including all the rural areas, one-sixth of schoolchildren do no speak English as their first language."img UPDATE: ther, I fixd iTimg


The heart-felt letterimg from the mother of a victim of conservative homophobia may be a copy-and-paste job, but Karajerk's responseimg is not: "You are a hate-filled bigot who sides with everything God is against"img. Way to show some Christian Love, you sack of shit.


An early Christmas present from Ken. Saving us a heap of trouble, our favorite Conservapedian conveniently provides one stop shopping for all his greatest idiocy.img


Andy the educator on the entire spectrum of politics, Abortion/Christianity fully encompasses everythingimg. Andy the educator on his claim that teachers unions don't teach kids to read, Fuck off!img


TK = Joe McCarthy gone greenimg?


A Christian cross that atheists had been attacking in courts for 10 years was stolen. Therefore, it was stolen by atheistsimg.


One getsimg theimg impressionimg Andyimg doesn'timg likeimg Elenaimg Kaganimg


Andy: 'where are the liberal senators' Mother's Day tributes?'img Here? Or how about here?


Conservapedia: Drillimg, babyimg, drillimg! If only so we can accuse Obamaimg of destroying our coastal ecosystems! But Andy, we thought God "served the creature"? Bonus: the referenced article says the opposite of what Rob thought.


Respect your mother...because God commands it!img Can't think of any other reasons then?


The only noteworthy application of linear algebra Andy can think of: Analyzing Liberal style on Wikipediaimg.


Wouldn't want to resort to rap musicimg to promote nonsense, now would we?


Ken proposesimg a multimedia "Dawkins is a clown" contest, soliciting art, music and essays on this important topic.


And so the fun begins...Andy is on a mission to redefine the term 'landslide'img UP THE DATE: Despite the lack of overall majority, it's still a landslide.img


Andy on Mainpage (six hours or so before the polls close): Socialists are going dowwwwwn in an historic end to liberal policies! The English press says so!img British press, Andy, British, he's citing a Malaysian newspaper. UPDATE TK: "Conservatives win"img, meanwhile, back in reality, only 3 seats have been declared. ANDY UPDATE, NOT BEING CONDESCENDING AT ALL: Kiss my red, white and blue ass Welcome back to the special relationship!img


Tea party failing to kick ass?img Well of course, it's conservative says Andy.


Today's logical fallacy, an implied Argumentum ad Populumimg


User: "Ken, your broken news item doesn't tie up with the source you provided.img" TK: "Well, perhaps this non-sequitur will answer your question, weasel?"img


CP Sysop RobSimg on normal editors: "Milk 'em".


TK bans British Columbia.img Or at least, bans all BC DCCNET users.


Andy applaudsimg as Conservatives seem set to win a massive and significant victory in Britain - the land of atheism! Jimmy22: "Uh, it's kind of normal for power to alternate between Labour and the Conservatives, and the polls indicate no overall majority." Andy:"Liberal denial! The media is conspiring to downplay this unprecedented landslide!" Jimmy22: "But, look at the numbers!" Andy:"Conspiracy! Open your mind!" JacobB:"I'm sick of your talk talk talk. Have a vacationimg."


Conservapedia tries to get Psygremlin's CPMonitor blog taken down. But we thought it was only liberals who did nasty things like censorship!? Update: They failed!


Andy, in full-on douchebag mode, blames Spain's unemployment on... gay marriageimg. Makes perfect sense.


TK Mk 1: "European Socialism, which systematically purges all traces of Christianity from the system there, all religious tolerance whatsoever, in the name of homogenization, and a desire to not offend Muslims."img TK Mk 2: "Belgium bans the Burqa!!"img


In order to promote Andy's hatred of violent moviesimg, he skips over SIX references to a student's attraction to thriller NOVELS! and suffered from "mental illnesses that were exacerbated by a lifetime of bullying and harassment."


CP, which isn't the "National Enquirer of the Internet"img claims that Obama had an affair. Source? National Enquirer.img. Tk vapes itimg.


Daddy! Daddy! I wrote an essay on that nasty Mr Darwin!img Um... actually, I copied it from here, here and here.


HSMom: If I may offerimg aimg littleimg assistance?img TK: Uh-huh,img We don' need none o' your fancy grammar here, bi-yatch.img


What kind of evil liberals would portray Arizona as conservative?!img....oh, rightimg


User: Let me innocently ask a question on Ken's madness.img Ken: One day, all shall be revealed.img Except that, thanks to TK, he's talking to a ghost.img