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Father, forgive them, for they do not knowLuke 23:34 their ass from a hole in the ground.
A bureaucracy is like a tree full of monkeys.

Looking down, you see nothing but smiling faces.
Looking up, you see nothing but assholes.

♫ Ass-sole, ass-sole, a soldier I shall be

To-piss, to-piss, two pistols on my knee
Fuh-king, fuh-king, for king and count-er-ree
Fuh-cur, Fuh-cur, Fo' cur-i-osity

Fight for the old cunt, fight for the old cunt, fight for the old count-er-ree ♬
♫Hey! Do you know what you are?

You're an asshole! An asshole!
Some of you might not agree
'Cause you probably likes a lot of misery
But think a while and you will see…

Broken hearts are for assholes…♬
Frank Zappa, "Broken Hearts Are for Assholes"
Did I ever tell you about the man who taught his asshole to talk? His whole abdomen would move up and down — you dig — farting out the words. It was unlike anything I ever heard. …
—William Burroughs from Naked Lunch[1][2]
♫But sometimes that's just not enough to keep a guy like me interested

I gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense.
I drive really slow, in the ultra fast lane,
While people behind me are going insane!

I'm an asshole!

I use public toilets and I piss on the seats,
I walk around in the summertime saying "how about this heat?"

I'm an asshole!♫
Denis Leary, "Asshole"

Asshole (American English) or arsehole (Commonwealth English) is a slang term for the anus, an orifice on the bodies of more complex animals for the purpose of purging waste, having fun, being the butt of jokes, and letting pearlfish also have fun inside sea cucumbers.

It can also be an extremely apt metaphor for an individual who is extremely arrogant, or just regularly spews forth bullshit. I.e., "they're talking out of their asshole", or "they've pulled that fact out of their asshole", or "they do not know their ass from a hole in the ground".

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  1. Now we’re at the door. And he’s still got me in the bro hug. And he says, 'Come on, those are nothing. Those are softballs.' And he says, 'One more for the road. Give me something with some mustard.' And this is what I said: 'Well, OK, fair enough. My wife and I watched The Apprentice for the first time the other night in preparation for coming over here. And, honestly, the question that kept popping up in my head is: are you as big an asshole as you seem? Or do you just play one on TV? And this is what he did. He dropped my arm like it had caught fire spontaneously, stepped back at least a yard, made that kind of constipated furious pig face he makes, slapped my back, doubled over and popped up laughing like you can't believe and declared, 'Yeah, it's fun, isn't it?'
    —James Dodson, a golf writer and reporter, interview with Donald Trump.[3]


  1. The Man Who Taught His Asshole to Talk by William Burroughs. RealityStudio
  2. Naked Lunch by William Burroughs (2013 reprint edition) Grove Press. ISBN 0802122078.
  3. A Day (And A Cheeseburger) With President Trump by Bill Littlefield (May 05, 2017; Updated 2017-05-08 11:00:17) WBUR.