| Going One God Further|
|Articles to not believe in|
“”I find your lack of faith disturbing...
|—Darth Vader choking a skeptic atheist|
“”The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next.
“”You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.
Atheism has two main definitions. It is properly defined as:
- The denial of the existence of God while in the midst of full knowledge that God indeed exists. Probably written by Satan too.
- The hatred of God while fully believing in His existence.
There are many facets to atheistic dogma! Here are a few choice high water marks:
- Stealing and eating crackers
- Eating grilled cheese sandwiches, tortillas, and toast even if an image of Richard Dawkins or a goat appears on them
- Eating baby parts from abortion clinics
- Drinking water, even if it's really gross
- Oppressing and suppressing Christians
- Not getting hit by karma
- Having nightmares about bananas and peanut butter
- Hating book lernin'
- Touching walls and worshipping rocks
- Eating cute little babies
Why atheism is a religion
- It ends in "-ism"
- They have a community (and it's a well known fact that religion owns community)
- Many of them are very passionate about their movement
- They have an atheist Bible
- They worship Satan
Atheists have long been noted for their superior recipes; this is the leading cause of the rise of atheism, converting millions of believers to atheism.
The Atheist Nightmare
The Dawkins Tortilla
In order to better worship Lord Dawkins, atheists frequently produce and consume tortillas, in order to bump up the chances that they might better catch glimpse of
a really wonky burn on a tortilla His Holy face.
The Aborted Fetus
Also, to praise their Dark Lord, some atheists also sometimes eat babies, preferably aborted fetuses that are fresh from the abortion clinic, because they hate babies.
- An Atheist Meets God
- God Loves Atheists
- Hundreds of Proofs of God's Non-existence
- Atheist doctrine
- Hunger trumps piety.
- Citation NOT needed.