Fun:Cure for Rabies

From RationalWiki
Jump to: navigation, search

Cure for Rabies: submission for the alternative medicine satire contest

Creating the cure formula[edit]

Step 1: Mix rabies virus infected saliva into fresh squeezed orange juice.

Step 2: Boil the liquid for 1 minute. No more.

Step 3: Mix the liquid with carrots in a blender. Be sure it is made into a fine liquid. No carrot chunks.

Step 4: Add prion infected brain matter into the concoction.

Step 5: Add a pinch of salt.

Step 6: Boil in water for two minute.

Administering the cure and monitoring the patient[edit]

Once the cure is ready, put the liquid into a 5 kilogram syringe.

Give the injection into the femoral artery, make sure the patient is distracted as to keep them calm. Don't want them to see the foul looking liquid.

Immediately after injection, the patient will go into violent convulsions. This is normal. After this, inject 5 cc's of pure alcohol.

If these steps are followed properly the patient will be cured. They will live a healthy and happy life for 1 month before dying a painful death.