Fun:Dada

Tristan Tzara, the dada of dada

Dada was an attempt to end World War I by searching for naughty words in a dictionary. The Dadaists, who came from France, Germany, Israel and Zimbabwe (today known as China), met in Switzerland, where they were attempting to avoid call-up.

Dada in France

French Dada began during the Industrial Revolution, when the ruling Pre-Raphaelites were executed on the Spinning Jenny. From this bloody (pardon my French) beginning, the main French Dadaists opened the Salon des refusées to keep their rubbish in, as the wheelie bin hadn't been invented yet.

French Dadaism reached its height in the so-called Dreyfuss Affair, a homoerotic movie starring Herbert Lom and Peter Sellers. It is now in a state of decline, and its current practitioners, including Jean-Michel Jarre, work on making "authentic" French Hip-hop for use in Advertising.

Dada in Germany

German Dada is dominated by a single figure: Adolf von Beethoven. Once a Bismarck-era sideshow act known for his efficient, orderly car factories, he founded the NSDADAP in order to eliminate all other artists in Germany. This he achieved by calling them "degenerate", which, being an English word, they had to look up in a dictionary, whereupon they became distracted by looking up all the rude words. This plan achieved, Beethoven was free to tour his ultra-realistic works of art around Poland, France and the former Soviet Union. However, he had a hostile reception (Gorbachev going so far as to call him "not our sort, really") and he was forced back to Berlin, where he began a related project, Kraftwerk.

British Dada

Dada in Britain was a product of the austere post-war years, when slums were rationed and television was only broadcast within the BBC. In London, the Kray twins, Gilbert and George, revolutionised light entertainment with their unique take on tea-making, by placing the paper doily upside down. This caused outrage among the ruling classes. Questions were asked in Parliament (although not actually about the Kray twins).

Special attacks

• Reverse Blade of chaos
• Yoga punch
• Dada Rage
• Swirling Shirt attack
• Bat attack (stolen from Bruce Wayne)
• Willow attack (stolen from Buffy)
• Confusion attack (stolen from Confucius)
• Orthodox Right Arm Medium grenade throw.

Victims of the Dada

1. Your mom
2. You
3. This guy
4. That Guy
5. God
6. England (all 53 million strong)
7. Kent Hovind
8. George W. Bush

Some famous Dadaists

1. Hans Arp
2. Hugo Ball
3. Lucille Ball
4. Marcel Duchamp
5. Man Ray
6. Tristan Tzara