Fun:Liberal Tools

From RationalWiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Warning: Extreme Lunacy
This page is batshit insane, and should be read with great caution. Please avoid this article at all costs, for your IQ might suffer as a result.
Conservlogo late april.png
For those living in an alternate reality, Conservapedia has an "article" about Liberal Tools
This tool is liberal.

These are the liberal[1] tools[2] as seen by conservatives,[3]in a proposed order of priority (if you are a liberal then feel free to add your tool to the list):

  1. Saying that they are more intelligent than conservatives, even though they are not even close.
  2. Not believing the things conservatives believe.
  3. Respecting other people's religious perspectives.
  4. Capturing and mind-controlling youth.
  5. Sowing division among conservatives.
  6. Mocking conservative interpretations of science
  7. Using the term "conservative" as a pejorative.
  8. Censorship of classroom prayer and the enormous insights it yields
  9. Complex mathematics.
  10. Complex anything.
  11. Humour.
  12. Sex.
  13. Incorrect, un-American Commonwealth spelling.
  14. Reverting of article edits that don't agree with their views.
  15. Annoyingly correct interpretation of things conservatives don't understand.
  16. Hammers and sickles.
  17. Use of French or other disgusting foreign languages.
  18. Approving of mud-people.
  19. Quotes and references, use of evidence in general.
  20. Using "centi" meters, "grams", and "liters" instead of good ole 'murkin feet and pounds and pints.
  21. Use of the scientific method.
  22. Claiming Relativity and Relativism are actually two distinct concepts.
  23. The (Lamestream) Meejah.
  24. Claiming that empirical evidence means something without providing any evidence that it does.
  25. Ridiculous idea that faith and science can coexist.
  26. Belief that a 3 word slogan (such as Abortion is Murder, Cut and Run, or even Save the Whales) cannot address the true complexity of an issue.
  27. Belief that a 4 word slogan (such as Make Love Not War) can address the true complexity of an issue.
  28. French Freedom fries.
  29. The United Nations.
  30. Saying that Global warming is real and presenting false yet convincing evidence that it is happening and man is causing it.
  31. Taxes on rich people
  32. Converting teenagers to homosexuality
  33. Undermining democracy by letting women vote
  34. Destroying the Republic by mandating the popular election of US Senators
  35. Desecrating the constitution by implying that illegal immigrants are still entitled to equal protection under the law
  36. Arguing with facts
  37. Establishment of a New World Order
  38. Atheism.
  39. Blatant head-in-the-sand refusal to accept the TruthTM.
  40. Repeating points without declaration in order to make the number appear greater (19;31)
  41. WIGO
  42. Some members of RationalWiki are liberal tools.


  1. Note, in another usage, "liberal tools" are any people espousing a lieberal perspective on anything.
  2. Note, in yet another usage, "liberal tools" are any people used by lieberals to promote their eeeeeevil agenda.
  3. Note, in yet yet another usage, "liberal tools" are male appendages, or strap-ons used by women for the same penetrative effect, which can be used to have lots of - evil, dirty, ungodly - fun.