Recipe:Trilobites in Aspic

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This recipe is not Kosher - preparing or eating it will make you unclean.
A yummy trilobite en croute


A very slightly sought after delicacy, trilobites in aspic is an extreme challenge to the modern chef. If necessary, larks' tongues can be substituted.


  • Trilobite DNA
  • Growth medium (dilute ocean water)
  • Plankton, krill, etc.
  • Aspic


Making Trilobites[edit]

  1. Extract trilobite DNA from sample found in incompletely mineralized fossil at natural history museum.
  2. Call Michael Crichton to get his secret process for transforming the DNA into trilobite eggs. Discuss the anthropogenic climate change farce and its effect on trilobite growth rates. A Ouija board might come in handy.
  3. Hatch trilobite eggs in sterile ocean water at a lower salt concentration than currently present.
  4. Introduce larger and larger prey for them to eat as they grow, eg, plankton, then sea urchin larvae, then krill.
  5. Harvest your trilobites after their third molt, while the shell is still soft, freeze until you have enough for dinner.

L'art de Cooquing[edit]

  1. Thaw the tasty trilobites.
  2. Sautee lightly in Devonian fern oil (you did get some fern DNA as well, right?).
  3. Put them in aspic (whatever that is) and chill.


  1. Serve on a bed of lettuce, with cocktail sauce (see here).
  2. Be careful not to let any live trilobites escape into the environment.

Makes a great appetizer before a nicely stuffed roast pterodactyl holiday dinner.

Note: Young Earth Creationists may be able to find more fresh items than the rest of us.

External links[edit]