User talk:DickTurpis/Conservapedia:Team Contest 3 Fantasy League

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You guys picked all the good ones[edit]

It's probably going to be Andy or one of the Sysops who will win, I wish I had found out about this contest sooner --Uncle J 23:30, 12 November 2007 (EST)

Ideally we'd be building teams, not picking one person, but there really aren't enough participants to go around. We could extend it to non-contest-participants, but who here really wants to count someone else's points? DickTurpis 23:37, 12 November 2007 (EST)
We should all get to pick a seven C/P CPer team, but one at a time. I think. humanUser talk:Human 00:46, 13 November 2007 (EST)
I say we get to pick whoever we want, regardless of whether or not they've already been picked. --Linus(plot evil tech) 20:04, 13 November 2007 (EST)

Senor Turpis[edit]

Keep this page clean of the... slander. ;-). --Ζωροάστρης 23:31, 12 November 2007 (EST)

Opting out[edit]

I'm going to quit. Who wants to buy my #1 pick? CЯacke® 23:46, 12 November 2007 (EST)

I'll buy it for one American dollar, which is basically worthless --Uncle J 23:47, 12 November 2007 (EST)

I bid one instance of self-mutilation and glowing verbal praise unto thee. --Ζωροάστρης 23:48, 12 November 2007 (EST)
I will buy it - with my almighty Canadian dollar.
OooOOooOOoo!!!
...not really though. Uchiha 23:50, 12 November 2007 (EST)
Bidding is closed...one USD please UJ, payable here. CЯacke®

UJ, if he sues you for the buck I'll defend you at $100/hr.-αmεσ (soldier) 23:54, 12 November 2007 (EST)

We still have that deal right Ames? I'll drag it out until you get at least five billable hours and then you pay me $50.00 (finders fee).CЯacke®

ahahaha, I was only joking, I'll go with the guy I picked. Besides I'm not American and have no access to their currency right now --Uncle J 23:54, 12 November 2007 (EST)

I'll take it for free though lol. --Uncle J 23:54, 12 November 2007 (EST)

No, sorry I'm a capitalist. CЯacke®
Cracker, I'll argue the case for $100/hr?-αmεσ (soldier) 00:04, 13 November 2007 (EST)
No, Ames, I cannot take money from you! Thank you kindly anyways. CЯacke® 00:09, 13 November 2007 (EST)
I'd be more than happy to take all of your money. --Future Doctor
I don't think I need a walletectomy. CЯacke® 00:38, 13 November 2007 (EST)
I'm glad, as I don't wish to know what type of behaviour would warrant the surgical removal of a wallet. ==Future Doctor
Ooh, I lurves me an aukshun!! Pi dollars for Eddie to add to my team! humanUser talk:Human 00:46, 13 November 2007 (EST)

UJ - how about some Tire Money? I wonder if paypal will ever accept that currency... --Shagie 00:47, 13 November 2007 (EST)

Well, since eBay allows sellers to accept it (in Canada), surely it's only a matter of time. I wonder when it will become the international reserve currency? humanUser talk:Human 14:25, 13 November 2007 (EST)

I'm afraid...[edit]

...that someone will have to concisely explain this concept to me? --AKjeldsenGodspeed! 00:06, 13 November 2007 (EST)

Silly Danes...
It's popular amongst many Americans to form sport "Fantasy" Teams - they take the role of a fictional coach, choose popular players, and then earn points for the real-life achievements of those players. For example, my Football fantasy team has Brett Favre as Quarterback (he is the starting Quarterback for the Green Bay Packers), and every Sunday I watch the Green Bay Packers play on TV. For every real-life complete pass/fake/run he makes, FOX Sports gives me a few points. For every interception he throws, I lose points. The great thing about fantasy teams is that you can take players from a bunch of different teams and put them all on one "fantasy" team. --Ζωροάστρης 00:38, 13 November 2007 (EST)

Did Human just in an edit comment call me TK?-αmεσ (soldier) 00:45, 13 November 2007 (EST)

Noooo, bastid, I did not. humanUser talk:Human 00:48, 13 November 2007 (EST)

zomg I was about to turn you into a bot.-αmεσ (soldier) 00:48, 13 November 2007 (EST)

A boybot or a girlbot? And do I get to go work for pedometaphiliapedia? Before I come out, that is? humanUser talk:Human 01:05, 13 November 2007 (EST)

proposal[edit]

I propose this league has a pi US dollars buy-in, or ante. We all have to pick our seven by the end of Weds (24.00 EST - CP time). Hi scorer gets a wicked awesome bahnstah I will design so you know it will be pretty, all others donate their ante to RW. Let's make this fun! Tie breaker will be the most accurate prediction of the next "godspeed as fuck you" usage by teh assfly. humanUser talk:Human 01:04, 13 November 2007 (EST)

I disagree due to lack of ability to donate. Locke User is Vandal/sysop Always Watching...... 01:38, 13 November 2007 (EST)
Everyone who wants in can donate somehow! Or don't play if youze can't pay! humanUser talk:Human 02:29, 13 November 2007 (EST)
Are we allowed to donate in non-currency ways? Intellectual property rights, and that? -- מְתֻרְגְּמָן וִיקִי שְׁלֹום!
I'm just kidding, of course. I don't make the rules for this, I'm just off in my own little fantasy team land. Yes, also, good spells are always welcome. humanUser talk:Human 14:16, 13 November 2007 (EST)

I'm probably really overthinking this, but it seems like each person needs more than one contestant on their fantasy team, but since there's not too many from which to choose if we were to just pick 5 people or something, almost everyone would end up with pretty much the same team (let's face it, we all know who the most prolific contributors are). Ideally we'd have tiers, each picking one from each tier. What we should probably do is just write this off as a bit of fun, but maybe if we wait a few weeks for contest 4 we can make it more interesting. Make our picks before we even know who's playing, get points for picking the first drafts, stuff like that. Also, starting our pool when the contest is already underway is quie the way to do it. DickTurpis 14:30, 13 November 2007 (EST)

By making our teams have seven members we get to compare our totals with CP though. And identical teams will just result in ties instead of lulz! And yes, for TC4 we have to prepare in advance. humanUser talk:Human 14:38, 13 November 2007 (EST)

Okay, I just picked five. Though it is pretty dubious doing this in the middle of the contest when we can see how people are doing. I also refrained from picking any RW socks, though I suppose there's no reason to disallow them. Next contest we'll do this right. DickTurpis 20:19, 13 November 2007 (EST)

Assuming Mommie dearest doesn't cut funding the "Trusworthy Encyclopedia" before another contest rears its head. CЯacke®

So[edit]

When will round two start? Locke User is Vandal/sysop Always Watching...... 01:38, 13 November 2007 (EST)

theoretically, when everyone picks round one. But who cares, build your teams!!! humanUser talk:Human 02:28, 13 November 2007 (EST)
Next time, we need to build our teams on the day before the Kontest begins, of course. That will be a busy Sunday! humanUser talk:Human 14:14, 13 November 2007 (EST)

I'm confused by all this.[edit]

Sorry to be dense, but I'm not following this. By a "team" - do you mean one person? If so where are the points for this one person posted? Here or at CP?--Bobbing up 14:21, 13 November 2007 (EST)

I interpret a "team" to be any seven of the competitors. CP will list their totals, ongoing, and at the end of the kontest. Then we add up how our "teams" did and compare - to each other and to the two "real" teams at CP. humanUser talk:Human 14:27, 13 November 2007 (EST)

Picking more people[edit]

I thought we were only allowed to pick one person. --Uncle J 20:15, 13 November 2007 (EST)

Isn't it clear by now that we are each operating by whatever rules we want? As far as inter-league stat comparison, though, single member teams can be compared to the first choice on multi-player teams, five player teams to the first five on seven player teams, etc. Have you named your team yet? Someone should call theirs the Pwnzorz... humanUser talk:Human 20:41, 13 November 2007 (EST)
"Sexany"? Is that both twinzorz? (they aren't really twins, but in our fantasy world, I guess they might be) humanUser talk:Human 20:49, 13 November 2007 (EST)
ROTFLMAO at the Sexual Predators hockey team... and their positions! humanUser talk:Human 21:15, 13 November 2007 (EST)

Winnerz?[edit]

Anyone tally up the scores? I got pwned, not least for never picking my final two players. Also looks like I backed the wrong horses. Fuckin hell, Bethany, don't tell me your difficult homeschoolin' schedule is too much for you that you can't make pointless edits to a manchild's blog. Thank god for the designated hitter rule. Hell, I only had one Supply Sider on my team, and he didn't even make the cut. This I why I should never bet on sports. In 2004, the first week of the season, I made a bet with a friend that the Patriots wouldn't win the Super Bowl. I stood to win the bet with 31 teams and lose with one, and of course I lost. I still call Shenanigans on BrianCo. With a single edit of adding way to many unnecessary and redundant links, he claimed more points than the majority Timberwolves had for the entire game. And our own SSchultz is the one who gets blocked. It's a good thing I don't give a shit about the whole thing or I'd be pissed. DickTurpis 02:00, 20 November 2007 (EST)

We all won!!!@!@!11!11oneone!11 Everybody who played, give as many pi dollarz US (they are cheap right now!) to RW. By the way, as far as high scorers... I out no one. humanUser talk:Human 02:33, 20 November 2007 (EST)
Hey, my five-person team beat yours! What were you thinking putting your strongest players in positions 6 and 7? DickTurpis 10:07, 20 November 2007 (EST)
Haha, well, I added them last, so they had to stay in those slots. Batting in order and all that sort of fair play liberal deceptiveness. Oh, and congratulations! humanUser talk:Human 13:47, 20 November 2007 (EST)

Hockey[edit]

Would a Conservapedia hockey team have a left-winger? --Edgerunner76 14:46, 20 November 2007 (EST)

No, in any sport they cover the "left" wing or field by blocking it with "groomers". humanUser talk:Human 14:53, 20 November 2007 (EST)

Winnerz?[edit]

Anyone tally up the scores? I got pwned, not least for never picking my final two players. Also looks like I backed the wrong horses. Fuckin hell, Bethany, don't tell me your difficult homeschoolin' schedule is too much for you that you can't make pointless edits to a manchild's blog. Thank god for the designated hitter rule. Hell, I only had one Supply Sider on my team, and he didn't even make the cut. This I why I should never bet on sports. In 2004, the first week of the season, I made a bet with a friend that the Patriots wouldn't win the Super Bowl. I stood to win the bet with 31 teams and lose with one, and of course I lost. I still call Shenanigans on BrianCo. With a single edit of adding way to many unnecessary and redundant links, he claimed more points than the majority Timberwolves had for the entire game. And our own SSchultz is the one who gets blocked. It's a good thing I don't give a shit about the whole thing or I'd be pissed. DickTurpis 02:00, 20 November 2007 (EST)

We all won!!!@!@!11!11oneone!11 Everybody who played, give as many pi dollarz US (they are cheap right now!) to RW. By the way, as far as high scorers... I out no one. humanUser talk:Human 02:33, 20 November 2007 (EST)
Hey, my five-person team beat yours! What were you thinking putting your strongest players in positions 6 and 7? DickTurpis 10:07, 20 November 2007 (EST)
Haha, well, I added them last, so they had to stay in those slots. Batting in order and all that sort of fair play liberal deceptiveness. Oh, and congratulations! humanUser talk:Human 13:47, 20 November 2007 (EST)

Final Scores (unofficial)[edit]

Okay, I have the unofficial final scores. These do not count Elassint andLocke's teams, as they picked 2 non-participants, and I'll be damned if I'm going to tally their scores for them.

All scores as yet unofficial

Single player teams (#1 pick for those who picked more than one player):

  1. Linus: 1417 / Timberwolves: 1417
  2. PFoster: 1380
  3. Gigglesnorts: 1103
  4. Hojimachong: 673
  5. Ames: 537
  6. The Bible Belt Brownshirts: 452
    Supply Siders: 280
  7. Team Encephalitis: 276
  8. Sexual Predators: 0

3 player teams (to allow Locke to compete with his two bench warmers)

Timberwolves: 3334
  1. Linus: 3248
  2. Gigglesnorts: 2092
  3. Bible Belt Brownshirts: 2091 (wow! close)
  4. Sexual Predators: 1869
  5. Team Encephalitis: 778
    Supply Siders: 678

5 player teams

Timberwolves: 4099
  1. The Bible Belt Brownshirts: 3784
  2. Linus: 3652
  3. Gigglesnorts: 3461
  4. Sexual Predators: 3248
    Supply Siders: 784

7 Player Teams

Supply Siders: 7551
  1. Gigglesnorts: 7421
  2. Sexual Predators: 4908
  3. Linus: 4584
    Timberwolves: 4448

Feel free to check my math, I make no guarantees of accuracy. Also note Assfly's recorded total is slightly higher than what Human has for his total, though I don't think the difference is enough to change any rankings. Well done, everyone. DickTurpis 14:51, 20 November 2007 (EST)

Awesome, thanks for doing all that. How far off was I on teh assfly? Because the slip sliders only beat my team by about 150 points. I guess that's a lot. By the way, I liberally and deceptively added all my numbers on my fingers, from most to least significant digit, so they're probably only accurate to within 20% or so. humanUser talk:Human 17:17, 20 November 2007 (EST)
Well, you have Assfly down as having 1203, while his own tally is 1417, so it's a substantial difference. I didn't think it mattered because the only competition he was included in for you was the 7 man event, which you won anyway. But if you're going to go head to head with the official teams I'll take a closer look to see where you stand. DickTurpis 18:08, 20 November 2007 (EST)
Ah, that is enough to put the gigglesnorters ahead of the slimesliders, if it's the only error. I'll check their numbers again soon and make any necessary corrections. humanUser talk:Human 19:13, 20 November 2007 (EST)
Actually, it looks like there are other errors, as the current listing are up to date, and appear correct (or as correct as any information taken staright from Conservapedia can be. DickTurpis 19:15, 20 November 2007 (EST)
Well, I just reran my #'s, the ones you put in above are correct, of course, and although I missed about 150 at teh assfly, I added wrong so it only changed my "score" by about 20. We eagerly await the judged official scores! humanUser talk:Human 20:30, 20 November 2007 (EST)

I've updated the scores and included the official teams, though without ranking them, as this is a fantasy league and they're not invited to my fantasies. I realize that the scoring for all legs but the last will be different if we all use our best scorers, rather than our first picks (as they did for their final scores). Maybe later I'll look into how that would have changed the rankings. DickTurpis 18:30, 20 November 2007 (EST)

Next Contest[edit]

ThatGirl was as useless as tits on a nun. Looks like Joaquin Phoenix was a good pick though. When will the next contest be held on Conservapedia, hopefully I will get a better score --Uncle J 20:16, 20 November 2007 (EST)

And we need to organize our draft process. Should the picks proceed from worst scoring to best for each round? Can we trade draft picks for cash and goat pilaf? humanUser talk:Human 20:22, 20 November 2007 (EST)

Forfeit?[edit]

I wonder how this: http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Contest3&oldid=342713#Forfeit_of_Contest affects our scores? Dammit Andy, there's a lot of money riding on the final official outcome over here! humanUser talk:Human 14:55, 25 November 2007 (EST)

I don't see any evidence that captains have the power to forfeit points for their entire team. TK even admits the captain position is purely ceremonial. TK can, I suppose, forfeit his own points, but he had few to forfeit anyway. More significant, however, is the judges recent decision to disqualify all points earned by SSchultz. That affects you, I fear, and your score will need to be adjusted accordingly, pending any appeal, which, let's face it, will not be allowed. -DickTurpis 00:10, 26 November 2007 (EST)

The top hitter[edit]

Dibs on Andrew's Palop lol ɧєɭıסş-get sunburn! 15:10, 3 February 2008 (EST)