User:DickTurpis

As a confirmed mustard jar for taking on this job as a Sysop on RationalWiki: I pledge to FUCK YOU UP. And I mean fuck you up Big Time! Don't even think of fucking with me! Not even in your fucking dream, motherfucker! I furthermore pledge that if I indulge in secret private conversations about you, I will cut off your damn head and fuck the hole!! Is that all?
FUCK NO!
If you impugn my motives without warrant, or challenge my "AUTHORATIE", YOU ARE A DEAD MAN. You: DEAD. Your family: DEAD. Your dog: DEAD. Your house: BURNT to the ground. Your grave: consecrated with my piss, and, if you're lucky, my semen too.
Don't FUCK with me!

The man himself, for the first time

Dick's To-Do List

• Drink

Conservapedia Villanelle

Atheists deny what they cannot see;

They view the world without an open mind.

Deny this and lose all credibility.

I swear to you the truth shall set you free,

Look around you and I’m sure you'll find

Atheists deny what they cannot see.

Your so-called “evolutionary tree”

Shows variants just within each kind.

Deny this and lose all credibility.

I’ve looked at the facts with regularity

And to this simple truth I am resigned:

Atheists deny what they cannot see.

When the Rapture brings us all eternity

Ungodly men like you are left behind.

Deny this and lose all credibility.

The truth to which all of us should agree,

As do the justices with which I’ve dined:

Atheists deny what they cannot see;

Deny this and lose all credibility.

-2.00 -3.79 This user's political compass rating is -2.00, -3.79 1 This user's Toulouse Number is 1 This user thinks the Founding Fathers can suck his dick. This user believes in an old Earth   — 13 years old! This user knows totalitarians love pudding. This user knows committers of genocide hate lunchables. This user has accepted Mandy Patinkin as his Lord and Savior. This user went to juvie, and was never schooled. This user fondly remembers John Hinckley. This user thinks President George W. Bush should eat more pretzels. This user is opposed to silkscreening. This user can't figure out how the star got inside the moon like that. You don't have THIS user to kick around anymore! This user just might be an alcoholic... This user photosynthesizes God's peed all over this user. 65px This user is a strong proponent of the auxillary chin. This userbox kills FASCISTS (in theory; yet to be tested). Thsi user KNOWS this man is a fucking moron. This user supports the legalization of Marijuana, otherwise known as the bionic, the bong, the puff, the blow, the block, the herb, the senseseed, the chronic, the sweet mary jane, the shit, ganja, spleef, reefer, bad, buddha, homegrown, ill, the maui maui, the method, pop, lethal, turbo, shake, skunk, stress, wackyweed, blaize, the boot, dimebag, scooby-doo, and backyard boogie. DINO TRAFIC SHUD PIK UP

Stuff I'm partially responsible for

Listed here so I can keep track of them:

• Conservapedia:Advantages of Small Classes
• Conservapedia:Barack Obama comparison
• Essay:Greatest achievements of human history
• Fun:Conservative Monopoly
• Debate:Who is the biggest idiot at CP?
• Essay:Types of conservatives
• Conservapedia:Summa Homosexualita

Also did some significant work on:

• Fun:Conservapedia, The Musical (as did almost everyone)

Some useful links I don't want to lose but don't want to bookmark either

• 2009 taxes 'n' shit
• fun animation

Fun stuff preserved for posterity

• One of Ken's all-time greats^img
• Ed "Death to Fags" Poor^img
• Typical indicator of why RobS is fucking retarded^img
• Classic block by Andy^img

Notes to self

Ignore unless you're me.

1. Buy Servotron
2. check out The Clash of Civilizations