Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/August 2011

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August 2011

145

USER:Conservative disagrees with Andy re: "YMCA."img Let the hilarity begin. UPDATE: A user reverts the editimg based on Andy's own statementsimg on the talk page. Ken immediately re-revertsimg and blocks the user for "over the top faux conservatism"img, something that would never apply to Ken .

115

Ed Poor: I want to do this, but I don't want to impact things too much, so I'll wait.img DerekE (joined CP October 2009img): Just an idea, but you can actually do it this or this way without it impacting at all, really.img Ed: How dare a NEW USER give ME advice?!?!?!?!? *reverts*img Then: What do you mean by these remarks that are over a year old? Are you some kinda pinko commie, huh????img UPDATE: Ken: I don't understand redirects either.img

-19

In a failed effort to improve the World History series, Andy goes on a super-editing bingeimg. Apparently deleting blank lines will improve the Conservapedian version of reality.

-25

Daniel1212 gives proofimg that homophobes write the best poetry.

160

Hurricane? What hurricane? It was all a liberal plan to ration energyimg

95

"Macho Man" by The Village People is a conservative song that celebrates traditional gender roles and the virtues of exercise and healthy living.img UPDATE: Andy denies the obvious conservitude of "Macho Man"img ...for the second timeimg.

150

What the source says: Where the roads are clear, the buses are running. Where roads are blocked by floods and fallen trees, the buses are not running What Andy reads: "Roadways are clear but ... buses are not runningimg"

25

Apparently Seven Nation Army is a song about the rise of conservatismimg.

70

Truer words have never been spoken: "Only a tyrant fears an opposing viewpointimg. Only a liar or faker refuses to have his arguments analyzed and his evidence scrutinized.img", says Ed Poorimg.

95

Andy Three Weeks Ago "An employee can't say whatever he likes if his employer disapproves".img Andy Today "The LAMEstream media censors an analyst for being critical of Obama".img Maybe ESPN dosn't like what its employee said...

135

Silly liberals, taking precautions before the storm hits.img COGNITIVE DISSONANCE UPDATE: Silly liberals won't heed precautionary adviceimg

100

The craziness just gets worse. Now Andy says "String theory is taking over university physics programs because Relativity is so obviously flawed."img. But for a very long time he was saying that all the liberal socialist atheist evolutionist professors were in love with relativity. So what happened? UPDATE: Andy's brother (and another userimg) inform him that string theory actually makes use of relativity and that theorists aren't pursuing string theory because they were persuaded by Andy's silly "counterexamples"img. Andy Five days previously, on the same page: The lack of scientific basis for Relativity leaves it defenseless against another unscientific theory: string theory. Before long it may become important to list counterexamples to string theoryimg

80

Andy: This article needs moreimg gibberishimg

50

JPatt (headline): "Richard Dawkins hates the American people" User: But that's not true.img JPatt: "If I put Dawkins "disagrees" or "dislikes" the vast majority of Americans- that doesn't make for a good headline."img Andy: Even I can see that this is embarrassing. *trim*img

30

Something unexpected from JPatt: Richard Dawkins hates ignoranceimg

80

TerryH promulgates the dogma of Conservative Infallibility by going postmodern: How dare a liberal question a conservative's position on science?img

130

Andy on the speed of light: "You(sic) comments like 'distances were measured in ... light-years, and that only makes sense if the speed is constant,' is a political statement, not a scientific one."img UPDATE. Andy, 2 days later: "Wikipedia has many dubious claims that relativity explains something ... as one might expect from a liberal website."img

100

Murdering a studentimg then committing suicide is a professor value, according to Jpratt.

15

Ken's latest masterpiece: Atheists are cowards. And fat.img

15

In a belated effort to improve his History Lectures,img Andy misunderstands and misrepresents.

140

Andy on one of his "counterexamples to evolution":img "Male and female versions of species must evolve separately, yet at the same time, and in a complementary manner. It's like lightening [sic] striking twice at the same place, at the same time of day, etc. Doesn't happen."

30

Andy: Higher college fees and fewer class options are the result of liberal policies.img

126

No, Andy.img No there isn't.

115

Roger: These experiments produced important evidence in favor of relativity. *links to Wikipedia page*img Andy: I was unware of those experiments. Do you have another source? One that fits my preconceptions?img ...Wait, didn't I make something because Wikipedia didn't agree with me all the time? Andy: *creates article on subject he just learned about by reading its Wikipedia page*img

70

Libya wants to restore its old flag,img which has an Islamic crescent and star on it, unlike the communist- and Islamist-inspired "neutral" Gaddafi flag. Andy thinks this means that America should be able to adopt the Christian Flag as our national standard.

60

Andy is excited: Less than two months after the introduction of the Touchpad, HP announces the end of all webOS devices, leading to insane price drops.img This is a sign that people are moving awayimg from liberal newspapers and liberal television - a clear conservative victory!

210

Relativity yet again: Andy: Ah hah! I found yet another counterexample to relativity.img User: Um, your citation is a forum comment. Also, the "counterexample" presumes relativity is false at the beginning.img Andy:There's a relativity conspiracy, therefore citing the Best of the Public™ is okay.img User: This forum comment doesn't even say what you want it to say. *quotes comment*img Andy: *ignores quotes* Yes it does.img User: Fine, how does your scenario (which you got by misreading a forum comment) contradict relativity?img Andy: *archives entireimg talk pageimg*

95

A dark-skinned person must have pissed off Ed Poor today: he quotes someone saying even Jesse Jackson is scared of African Americans at nightimg<capture>, quotes another person saying <capture>people of color only succeed because of affirmative actionimg<capture>, and then immediately after <capture>redirects 'Person of color' to 'Blacks'img.

-9

Wait Andy, so the Christian Science Monitor, the website you usually use to argue against evolution, is now a liberal websiteimg?

126

Andyimg (exact quote): "Liberals already teach that Newtonian mechanics is fundamentally incorrect, so there is little reason to add to that (often false) criticism. In contrast, liberals insist that Relativity must be true and they punish anyone who dares claim otherwise. "

100

Public schoolimg makes you gay.

25

JamesWilson shouts into the forgotten vacuumimg that the Blocking policy refinement panel proceedings is to become.

55

Logic, Karajou style.img The fact that a single parodist has been revealed proves that "there's nothing wrong with this site or the people in it." How about the remaining 99 parodists, Karajou?

65

Self-fulfilling prophecy on CPimg

-65

Andy Schlafly, a Princeton-educated Electrical Engineer who supposedly authored three separate academic publications, misspelled the word 'transistor'img. Note: We're still taking bets on who earned Andy Schlafly his degrees...

50

Uncle Ed sez: My anti-union friend has a "big Android." None of my gay friends has one.img Is that what they're calling it these days, Ed? (In related news: Ed Poor has "gay friends"!)

95

Karajou's orgasm registers 3.6 on the Richter scale as he defenestrates RobSimg, burns down his castleimg and then salts the earth behind him!img Update: User:C jizzes on the body.img

-5

CPalmerimg: Thanks for the extra rights. In case of any problems following blocks, I now feel I should be contactable by email, but I can't see where in my preferences to add my email address. Andyimg: No problem and no need for email, because someone will let you know on your talk page if your blocks are overzealous or too long. You can see prior blocks by others to get the idea. And who will this mysterious someone be? Karajou? Or a soon-to-be-blocked peon stirring the pot. Indeed: You can see prior blocks by others to get the idea.

120

This article is lightweight and haphazard. I'm going to delete it if no one helps me fix it up. Better to have nothing, than something this lame.img --Ed Poor Talk 15:35, 16 August 2011 (EDT)

70

Ed finally answers the age-old question: Yes, there are atheist hospitals... but they suck.img

49

The list of the Greatest Conservative Songsimg is rapidly growing, leading to an epiphanyimg from MaxFletcher. Assfly, eager for another opportunity to rape mathematics, throws his supportimg behind the project. MaxFletcher then muses that due to Hollywood influence, most hits are from liberal artists, "like Usher and M&M."img

20

For someone who objects to the pronunciation 'Pokistan', Andy is quite the expert on the history of South Asia (read the second part of his two-thread comment).img

60

With a 14 trillion dollar debt, 3 wars, and a congress who couldn't agree what time it is, it's Michele Bachmann, NOT Rick Perry, who understands the IMPORTANT issuesimg

50

Lo, Andy spake from on high, and Tim Pawlenty, true-blue conservative, whom the Left hates for heroically balancing Minnesota's budget,img is reclassifiedimg as an unperson a RINO.

40

Karajou: Who runs Hollywood? The liberals child molesters!img

160

Rob: Please explain the details surrounding the libelous comments and made up lies about me by anonymous users which resulted in my desysopping.img Andy, being a hypocritical ass: We "respect the freedom of speech here" and if you can't handle it, speak not.img Rob: Excellent, so why was I desysopped?img Andy, being an even bigger ass: BLOCKED! Now let's see who's able to speak heathen!img UPDATE: Jcw upgrades Rob's block to indefiniteimg Back to 1 month by Iduan.

20

Ron Paul will win the Iowa Straw Poll closely followed by Bachmannimg. A few hours later... CONSERVATIVE UPSET Michelle Bachmann wins!!!img... and nobody told CP's main page right... UPDATE: Conservapedia's predictions were remarkably accurateimg - they almost had the same names!

50

To theimg victor goimg the spoilsimg.

15

Politicians Who Had a Real Career: situational awareness failimg

70

CPalmer to Ken Your obesity ramblings are against the letter of the Gospel and the spirit of ecclesiastical history, and here's a Bible verse to prove it.img Ken replies tersely: Gluttony is a sin according to the Bible. End of discussion.img

90

Sysop scrap: Karajou permabans Rob ("false accusations").img UPDATE: Andy strips Rob of his rights.img

75

How to be a CP sysop in one easy lesson. Karajou: "Away with you,img HorribleHorace, once again you've proved you're unfit for our paradise!" The Real Horace: "Umm, you know that isn't me... right?"img Karajou: "Of course!img I just enjoy lying. AWAY WITH YOU TOO!"

75

"I feel bad that this is so disturbing to you. I hope you don't work yourself into a frenzy and have sleepless nights over this matter. I can tell you that I am not going to lose any sleep over this matter." says Kenimg, before editing continuously through the night with at most a two-and-a-half hour break.img

160

Parodist: OK, OK, Andy, I see what you're trying to do with this "real jobs" list, here'simg the "fascinating conservative insight" you're after! Andy: Winner!img Everyone else: WTF?img

20

The main page looks increasingly like a late 90s GeoCities page as Andy spaffs a message about Obama's "clueless" speechimg on the actual page, rather than the MainPageRight news template as usual.

65

ANDY ESSAY TIME: Politicians who had a real careerimg! A real career is something like: Baseball Pitcher, Singer, Football Player, Actor, Architect of the Fall of Communism, School Teacher, CEO or Military General. Questionable or non-influential careers include: Attorney (well maybe that one is true), Actor, Professor, Company Executive, Pilot/Soldier, Military General.. or President of the USA (this job CLEARLY isn't influential on politics, since.. some non-politicians were politically influential..img).

130

Andy: London descended into a night of riotingimg. One hour later: Oh wait, London is the capital of atheismimg.

121

Ken: The effects of the Question evolution! campaign will be devastating to evolutionary belief and atheism.img RonLar: Really?img Ken: Have to go! Someone is deleting my edits! I don't want to play any longer!img RonLar: Wow, that's not nice. But wait: Isn't that someone you?img

85

Arguing, Kenny-style.img

96

Typical flaky evolutionistsimg, always going on about how comets are hiding alien warships while good old "creation scientists" are doing objective science.

220

School Prayer Fun: Andy: We should have free speech in this nation ... for Christians tooimg Naive user: Does that include Muslims?img Andy: No.img

85

Ken: "The UK has one of the highest self harm rates in Europeimg at 0.4% - due to atheism of course." Reality: The US has a self harm rate of 4%, which is 10 times higher than the UK. By Ken "logic", this proves that Christianity causes people to harm themselves.

90

In the ultimate irony, Ken feels the need to informimg othersimg on how to "create a more collaborative spirit and increase the esprit de corps."

156

Penn Jillette finally responds to the taunting at CP. Spoilers: He declines the offer, on account of CP being a troll site.

136

Having had enough, Rob announces here he's taking time off CPimg (and calls Karajou "a piece of shit"img "worthless little cocksucker"img ), thus making Ken and Angry Bear the winners of the Great CP Flame War of '11. Let the Reign of Manchild and Mallcop begin!