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Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/August 2011

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August 2011[edit]

145USER:Conservative disagrees with Andy re: "YMCA."img Let the hilarity begin.

UPDATE: A user reverts the editimg based on Andy's own statementsimg on the talk page. Ken immediately re-revertsimg and blocks the user for "over the top faux conservatism"img, something that would never apply to Ken.

115Ed Poor: I want to do this, but I don't want to impact things too much, so I'll wait.img DerekE (joined CP October 2009img): Just an idea, but you can actually do it this or this way without it impacting at all, really.img Ed: How dare a NEW USER give ME advice?!?!?!?!? *reverts*img Then: What do you mean by these remarks that are over a year old? Are you some kinda pinko commie, huh????img UPDATE: Ken: I don't understand redirects either.img
-19 In a failed effort to improve the World History series, Andy goes on a super-editing bingeimg. Apparently deleting blank lines will improve the Conservapedian version of reality.
-25 Daniel1212 gives proofimg that homophobes write the best poetry.
160Hurricane? What hurricane? It was all a liberal plan to ration energyimg
95"Macho Man" by The Village People is a conservative song that celebrates traditional gender roles and the virtues of exercise and healthy living.img UPDATE: Andy denies the obvious conservitude of "Macho Man"img ...for the second timeimg.
150What the source says: Where the roads are clear, the buses are running. Where roads are blocked by floods and fallen trees, the buses are not running
What Andy reads: "Roadways are clear but ... buses are not runningimg"
25Apparently Seven Nation Army is a song about the rise of conservatismimg.
70Truer words have never been spoken: "Only a tyrant fears an opposing viewpointimg. Only a liar or faker refuses to have his arguments analyzed and his evidence scrutinized.img", says Ed Poorimg.
95Andy Three Weeks Ago "An employee can't say whatever he likes if his employer disapproves".img Andy Today "The LAMEstream media censors an analyst for being critical of Obama".img Maybe ESPN dosn't like what its employee said...
135Silly liberals, taking precautions before the storm hits.img COGNITIVE DISSONANCE UPDATE: Silly liberals won't heed precautionary adviceimg
100The craziness just gets worse. Now Andy says "String theory is taking over university physics programs because Relativity is so obviously flawed."img. But for a very long time he was saying that all the liberal socialist atheist evolutionist professors were in love with relativity. So what happened? UPDATE: Andy's brother (and another userimg) inform him that string theory actually makes use of relativity and that theorists aren't pursuing string theory because they were persuaded by Andy's silly "counterexamples"img. Andy Five days previously, on the same page: The lack of scientific basis for Relativity leaves it defenseless against another unscientific theory: string theory. Before long it may become important to list counterexamples to string theoryimg
80Andy: This article needs moreimg gibberishimg
50JPatt (headline): "Richard Dawkins hates the American people"
User: But that's not true.img
JPatt: "If I put Dawkins "disagrees" or "dislikes" the vast majority of Americans- that doesn't make for a good headline."img
Andy: Even I can see that this is embarrassing. *trim*img
30Something unexpected from JPatt: Richard Dawkins hates ignoranceimg
80TerryH promulgates the dogma of Conservative Infallibility by going postmodern: How dare a liberal question a conservative's position on science?img
130Andy on the speed of light: "You(sic) comments like 'distances were measured in ... light-years, and that only makes sense if the speed is constant,' is a political statement, not a scientific one."img UPDATE. Andy, 2 days later: "Wikipedia has many dubious claims that relativity explains something ... as one might expect from a liberal website."img
100Murdering a studentimg then committing suicide is a professor value, according to Jpratt.
15Ken's latest masterpiece: Atheists are cowards. And fat.img
15In a belated effort to improve his History Lectures,img Andy misunderstands and misrepresents.
140Andy on one of his "counterexamples to evolution":img "Male and female versions of species must evolve separately, yet at the same time, and in a complementary manner. It's like lightening [sic] striking twice at the same place, at the same time of day, etc. Doesn't happen."
30Andy: Higher college fees and fewer class options are the result of liberal policies.img
126No, Andy.img No there isn't.
115Roger: These experiments produced important evidence in favor of relativity. *links to Wikipedia page*img
Andy: I was unware of those experiments. Do you have another source? One that fits my preconceptions?img ...Wait, didn't I make something because Wikipedia didn't agree with me all the time?
Andy: *creates article on subject he just learned about by reading its Wikipedia page*img
70Libya wants to restore its old flag,img which has an Islamic crescent and star on it, unlike the communist- and Islamist-inspired "neutral" Gaddafi flag. Andy thinks this means that America should be able to adopt the Christian Flag as our national standard.
60Andy is excited: Less than two months after the introduction of the Touchpad, HP announces the end of all webOS devices, leading to insane price drops.img This is a sign that people are moving awayimg from liberal newspapers and liberal television - a clear conservative victory!
210Relativity yet again:

Andy: Ah hah! I found yet another counterexample to relativity.img
User: Um, your citation is a forum comment. Also, the "counterexample" presumes relativity is false at the beginning.img
Andy:There's a relativity conspiracy, therefore citing the Best of the Public™ is okay.img
User: This forum comment doesn't even say what you want it to say. *quotes comment*img
Andy: *ignores quotes* Yes it does.img
User: Fine, how does your scenario (which you got by misreading a forum comment) contradict relativity?img

Andy: *archives entireimg talk pageimg*
95A dark-skinned person must have pissed off Ed Poor today: he quotes someone saying even Jesse Jackson is scared of African Americans at nightimg<capture>, quotes another person saying <capture>people of color only succeed because of affirmative actionimg<capture>, and then immediately after <capture>redirects 'Person of color' to 'Blacks'img.
-9Wait Andy, so the Christian Science Monitor, the website you usually use to argue against evolution, is now a liberal websiteimg?
126Andyimg (exact quote): "Liberals already teach that Newtonian mechanics is fundamentally incorrect, so there is little reason to add to that (often false) criticism. In contrast, liberals insist that Relativity must be true and they punish anyone who dares claim otherwise. "
100 Public schoolimg makes you gay.
25JamesWilson shouts into the forgotten vacuumimg that the Blocking policy refinement panel proceedings is to become.
55 Logic, Karajou style.img The fact that a single parodist has been revealed proves that "there's nothing wrong with this site or the people in it." How about the remaining 99 parodists, Karajou?
65Self-fulfilling prophecy on CPimg
-65Andy Schlafly, a Princeton-educated Electrical Engineer who supposedly authored three separate academic publications, misspelled the word 'transistor'img. Note: We're still taking bets on who earned Andy Schlafly his degrees...
50Uncle Ed sez: My anti-union friend has a "big Android." None of my gay friends has one.img Is that what they're calling it these days, Ed? (In related news: Ed Poor has "gay friends"!)
95Karajou's orgasm registers 3.6 on the Richter scale as he defenestrates RobSimg, burns down his castleimg and then salts the earth behind him!img Update: User:C jizzes on the body.img
-5CPalmerimg: Thanks for the extra rights. In case of any problems following blocks, I now feel I should be contactable by email, but I can't see where in my preferences to add my email address.

Andyimg: No problem and no need for email, because someone will let you know on your talk page if your blocks are overzealous or too long. You can see prior blocks by others to get the idea.

And who will this mysterious someone be? Karajou? Or a soon-to-be-blocked peon stirring the pot. Indeed: You can see prior blocks by others to get the idea.
120This article is lightweight and haphazard. I'm going to delete it if no one helps me fix it up. Better to have nothing, than something this lame.img --Ed Poor Talk 15:35, 16 August 2011 (EDT)
70Ed finally answers the age-old question: Yes, there are atheist hospitals... but they suck.img
49The list of the Greatest Conservative Songsimg is rapidly growing, leading to an epiphanyimg from MaxFletcher. Assfly, eager for another opportunity to rape mathematics, throws his supportimg behind the project. MaxFletcher then muses that due to Hollywood influence, most hits are from liberal artists, "like Usher and M&M."img
20For someone who objects to the pronunciation 'Pokistan', Andy is quite the expert on the history of South Asia (read the second part of his two-thread comment).img
60With a 14 trillion dollar debt, 3 wars, and a congress who couldn't agree what time it is, it's Michele Bachmann, NOT Rick Perry, who understands the IMPORTANT issuesimg
50Lo, Andy spake from on high, and Tim Pawlenty, true-blue conservative, whom the Left hates for heroically balancing Minnesota's budget,img is reclassifiedimg as an unperson a RINO.
40Karajou: Who runs Hollywood? The liberals child molesters!img
160Rob: Please explain the details surrounding the libelous comments and made up lies about me by anonymous users which resulted in my desysopping.img Andy, being a hypocritical ass: We "respect the freedom of speech here" and if you can't handle it, speak not.img Rob: Excellent, so why was I desysopped?img Andy, being an even bigger ass: BLOCKED! Now let's see who's able to speak heathen!img UPDATE: Jcw upgrades Rob's block to indefiniteimg Back to 1 month by Iduan.
20Ron Paul will win the Iowa Straw Poll closely followed by Bachmannimg. A few hours later... CONSERVATIVE UPSET Michelle Bachmann wins!!!img... and nobody told CP's main page right... UPDATE: Conservapedia's predictions were remarkably accurateimg - they almost had the same names!
50To theimg victor goimg the spoilsimg.
15Politicians Who Had a Real Career: situational awareness failimg
70CPalmer to Ken: Your obesity ramblings are against the letter of the Gospel and the spirit of ecclesiastical history, and here's a Bible verse to prove it.img Ken replies tersely: Gluttony is a sin according to the Bible. End of discussion.img
90Sysop scrap: Karajou permabans Rob ("false accusations").img UPDATE: Andy strips Rob of his rights.img
75How to be a CP sysop in one easy lesson.
Karajou: "Away with you,img HorribleHorace, once again you've proved you're unfit for our paradise!"
The Real Horace: "Umm, you know that isn't me... right?"img
Karajou: "Of course!img I just enjoy lying. AWAY WITH YOU TOO!"
75"I feel bad that this is so disturbing to you. I hope you don't work yourself into a frenzy and have sleepless nights over this matter. I can tell you that I am not going to lose any sleep over this matter." says Kenimg, before editing continuously through the night with at most a two-and-a-half hour break.img
160Parodist: OK, OK, Andy, I see what you're trying to do with this "real jobs" list, here'simg the "fascinating conservative insight" you're after!
Andy: Winner!img
Everyone else:
20The main page looks increasingly like a late 90s GeoCities page as Andy spaffs a message about Obama's "clueless" speechimg on the actual page, rather than the MainPageRight news template as usual.
65ANDY ESSAY TIME: Politicians who had a real careerimg!
A real career is something like: Baseball Pitcher, Singer, Football Player, Actor, Architect of the Fall of Communism, School Teacher, CEO or Military General.
Questionable or non-influential careers include: Attorney (well maybe that one is true), Actor, Professor, Company Executive, Pilot/Soldier, Military General.. or President of the USA (this job CLEARLY isn't influential on politics, since.. some non-politicians were politically influential..img).
130Andy: London descended into a night of riotingimg.
One hour later: Oh wait, London is the capital of atheismimg.
121Ken: The effects of the Question evolution! campaign will be devastating to evolutionary belief and atheism.img
RonLar: Really?img
Ken: Have to go! Someone is deleting my edits! I don't want to play any longer!img
RonLar: Wow, that's not nice. But wait: Isn't that someone you?img
85Arguing, Kenny-style.img
96Typical flaky evolutionistsimg, always going on about how comets are hiding alien warships while good old "creation scientists" are doing objective science.
220School Prayer Fun:
Andy: We should have free speech in this nation ... for Christians tooimg
Naive user: Does that include Muslims?img
Andy: No.img
85Ken: "The UK has one of the highest self harm rates in Europeimg at 0.4% - due to atheism of course." Reality: The US has a self harm rate of 4%, which is 10 times higher than the UK. By Ken "logic", this proves that Christianity causes people to harm themselves.
90In the ultimate irony, Ken feels the need to informimg othersimg on how to "create a more collaborative spirit and increase the esprit de corps."
156Penn Jillette finally responds to the taunting at CP. Spoilers: He declines the offer, on account of CP being a troll site.
136Having had enough, Rob announces here he's taking time off CPimg (and calls Karajou "a piece of shit"img "worthless little cocksucker"img ), thus making Ken and Angry Bear the winners of the Great CP Flame War of '11. Let the Reign of Manchild and Mallcop begin!