Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?/February 2009
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39 |
Even Ed found it incomprehensible!img UPDATE: PJR continues to spank Andy around with the truthimg |
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10 |
Bad grammarimg is preferable to emotions... |
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5 |
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36 |
Andy Schlafly has a "commanding grip of statistical analysis displayed on numerous occasions in the pages of this encyclopaediaimg. That's news toimg us. (For comprehensive lulz, just read the whole talk pageimg.) |
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-4 |
Ed: Please see this pageimg (which doesn't exist)img for more information |
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34 |
CPalmer falls victimimg to TK's recent additionsimg to the Etiquette Guidelines: "Revertingimg a sysop? Bad idea."img |
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12 |
TK: "Liberals (like Edimg Poor) like to spinimg how Fred Phelps is not a liberal!" Also of interest: TK implies that you become a conservative/liberal simply by donating to the respective Presidential Candidate. |
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14 |
Uncle Ed: "Phelps is only wrong in his idea that God 'punishes' and 'hates' homosexuals."img Ed also opines that communists have their theory right and that there are economic problems that capitalism cannot eliminate. |
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-15 |
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Uncle Ed's new prayer forum - edit summaries!img Also, please to eventually correct the spling erorimg? |
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51 |
Ladies, gentlemen, and the peasants |
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44 |
Probably imagining he would have been Duke Andrew I of the House of Schlafly, the Assfly declares that feudalism was goodimg because the peasants didn't have to commute to work in the morning. Oh, and homeschooling started with feudalism. |
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-13 |
The upcoming issue of Newsweek has a major article about the vaccine-autism link scare. Counting down until that hits the CP latest news .... 5, 4, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, Wait! Aren't the numbers supposed to go down? |
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12 |
CP's newest Goon Squad member JY23 approaches TK: "Master, Master! I can't find the Block Mail button anywhere!img I tried to use it on the last guy I banhammeredimg for thisimg post, which was his only talk page post between several goodimg edits, but it wasn't there! Help, please!" |
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46 |
Dial M for moron. Andy's SES application is a shoo-in with sentences like this: "It is thereby complementary within the truth that it addresses and assists in the instruction regarding what is already contained within the district's prevailing instructional program."img |
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42 |
Conservapedia admits that humans can cause global warmingimg — as long as those humans are liberals, that is... |
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31 |
Ed puts forth another one of his little essaysimg on the question of "Is Obama a Muslim?", giving us what has to be the most blatant violation yet of the Second Conservapedia Commandment. UPDATE: Schlafly correctsimg some of Ed's "liberal lies"... Perfect! MOAR UPDATE: Some schmuck has the nerve to delete The Assfly's |
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12 |
Jpatt finds a "connection"img between Stalin and Darwin. I guess that means anybody who has been impacted by Darwin is a brutal mass murderer, right? |
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17 |
Andy takes on Renaissance-era liberal revisionism: Humanists made up the term "Middle Ages"img in their hatred of the "mostly quiet religious activity" during that time. Somebody should tell him about the Inquisitions. |
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-18 |
A television reporter posts a racist video to YouTube and gets fired. Conservapedia doesn't like this for some reason.img |
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You're right,img Ed... that hardly even qualifies as freshmanopedia. |
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Just a few mistakesimg then... (War on?img) There's moreimg. What's it going to be, 90/10 block, or "Ratwiki troll" block? UPDATE ..and here are a few moreimg Andy... |
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-5 |
Ed Poor insight of the day: Could it be that the classic Japanese story The Tale of Genji, considered by many to be one of the very first novels and thought to have been written at least partially by a woman, foreshadowed the Rape of Nankingimg? Maybe someone can segue into what liberals share with a rape simulator from Japanese pornographers? (warning, last link may make your browser feel pain) UPDATE Here'simg a plot summary much better than 'Wikipedia's whitewash (and yours too, Ed) |
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52 |
Andy gets totally, totally pwnedimg by some user who actually passed high school history. |
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6 |
Heartbeat'simg heartimg beatimg meterimg hasn't flatlined yet. How long until it does? |
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15 |
And the hatred goes on: TomMoore's six-month block expired not that long ago, so TK decides it's time for a five-year banimg before the guy gets any ideas about contributingimg again. But someone possibly reads WIGOimg. Update: Not happy with merely shoving normal users and fellow sysops around, TK slaps the Bureaucrat CPWebmaster in the face by re-banning Tom without further comment. |
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18 |
jpatt: I'm not wrong unless at least two people say soimg UPDATE That's 3 now I thinkimg...anything to say jpatt? |
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19 |
Can we last until the end of the month? Our irony-meter quota is fast being depletedimg. |
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31 |
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13 |
Amazingly, Andy actually demonstrates journalistic standardsimg. In other news, sub-zero temperatures are reported in the infernal regions, winged swine in final approach to BWI. |
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9 |
TK is upset that a drug abuser got an Oscarimg. Because conservatives never honorimg people with drug problems, of course. |
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1 |
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5 |
, in a smooth umpteen edits,img just barely manages to tell us that he really doesn't like atheism. |
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21 |
, deciding he hasn't been nearly enough of an ass lately, unilaterally declares his Richard Dawkins smear job "Article of However Long I Friggin' Wantimg". |
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19 |
TK blocks BrianCoimg |
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14 |
Andy adds to the atheist article to better skewer specific atheistsimg. Very well, Andy, but wasn't Godel one of the only two teenagersimg you mentioned when confronted about teens being responsible for the world's greatest achievements? Wait a minute, maybe he wasn't an atheist after allimg. MOAR: Gentlemen, Ken would like to tell you a story. Later.img |
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-8 |
Atheists are more critical of evolutionimg...who are you and what have you done with Andy! |
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User: Andy, you're completely wrong about this article's sourceimg Andy: NO! You atheist, classroom prayer censoring, evolutionist!img |
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-3 |
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8 |
Ed! What exactly are you implying aboutimg our dear Ken!?img |
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13 |
's all out of ideas (and has no idea how to edit a wiki properly), so he decides to stealimg RJJensen'simg... |
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28 |
Answers to Question 6 |
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1 |
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So what is BrianCo? A parodist or an agent of vandal sites?img Update: Blocked is what he is: "Member of Vandal/Parodist site"img. Moar Update: Contradicted!img |
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21 |
Dictionaries?img Bastyuns ov librul deseet! |
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-10 |
PJR is drunken dialing again: "Hello? Sock drawer?"img |
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15 |
Ken gets his panties moistimg over a creationist site making a section about atheism. Well, it's actually just a FAQ linking to articles they already had, but it's a major blow to Atheism! Really! And they might write another article soon! Maybe! |
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6 |
So, 5 days after Andy makes a reading errorimg, someone again questions himimg and decides that it should be correctedimg....the system works! |
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29 |
Andy: Oh dear. This student has made some mistakes in their homework....I guess I'd better change them before I actually grade it....but i'll leave the racist joke in....69/70img |
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20 |
Time to call a lawyer CP?img Update: Andy blinksimg. |
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23 |
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31 |
JamT : Hey guys, would you mind not stealing my workimg? Assfly : GDFLimg is just too complicated for me to understand. Anything I do qualifies as fair use. The fact that you won't let me trample all over your rights suggests that you are a deceitful atheist librulimg. |
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17 |
PJR goes all MOAR HITLERimg on us; RJJ smacks downimg PJR. |
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8 |
CP user: "stupid scientists say they've proved that complex chemicals can form by themselves! Obviously this is stupid and lacks any evidence! but also somehow supports Intelligent design..."img A) Naturally you haven't even understood the article. B) It states quite clearly that it's a THEORY. C) They do state the evidence, but perhaps if you want the full data you should try reading the ACTUAL ARTICLE and not a CBC NEWS REPORT! |
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32 |
The world waits with bated breath for Andy's horrific evidence - directly from Hell itself apparently - of Satan's gleeful whippings and burningsimg. Also, materialists really believe in hell, but are just fooling around. |
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29 |
TK revamps the Editing Etiquetteimg (Yes, we could stop here, and it would still be hilarious.), adding things like "Never make substantial edits to an article without discussing your changes first (...) if you have a reasonable expectation that other editors will accept your change" (emphasis added) and other "You will not do anything or revert a sysop without permission"-style rules. PJR revertsimg, but Ed likesimg TK's version (Surprise!) and shoves PJR to the talk page. TK then steps back in, |
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25 |
User: Your headline about Obama and the Fairness Doctrine is completely falseimg. Andy: NOPE, won't fall for your atheist censorship! Tehehe you had a typo!!img |
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46 |
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27 |
Ed, the software engineer: The idea is to pack as many bits as possible into each byte (...)img |
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12 |
Karajou: Bill Ayers "failed himself at Terrorist 101"img because he didn't kill anybody. |
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2 |
Finding a cure for miscarriages and spontaneous abortions is much more important than finding a cure for AIDS.img Glad to see we have our priorities in check. |
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Unfamiliar with CP? Here's a classic exchange: |
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33 |
Not only did Jesus invent laughing and the alphabet, he also invented both "true" and "false"img. |
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15 |
Aziraphale:img "Don't drag me down, Jpatt; I get blocked too often too fast to waste my time with you." - Jpatt:img "Lololol, liberal persecution complex!" - Aziraphale:img "I'm not a liberal, but you're an idiot." - DeanS: "Excellent, he walked right into the trap!"img |
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17 |
According to TK, liberals should be outraged because someone said something good about Obama.img Huh? That doesn't make any sense... oh, wait! Just add boldimg and everything becomes clear! |
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Hmm, I wonder which site TK is talking about...img |
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19 |
Classic Andy here:img blunder into a conversation, bring up issues that haven't been discussed, throw around some Latin to intimidate the masses and then contradict the whole point of the piece. Beautiful. |
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TK: So now Obama opposes the Fairness Doctrine? DECEIT!!!!!img TK take 2 (after having it pointed out that Obama never said he supported it..: Well I suppose technically he never said he supported it...but it's still deceit...somehowimg |
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5 |
Vice-presidential candidate has tax problems. But in CP land, onlyimg Democratsimg fail to pay their taxes. Will we see an update about Governor Palin's inability to pay, or a scandal listed on Senator McCain's article anytime soon? |
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17 |
The entire history of the Roman Empireimg in 10,600 words and FIVE WHOLE REFERENCES.img ALSO, Romans were not known for intellectual achievementsimg... Christianity grew in the Roman empire. |
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Andy to students: Those filthy Etruscans worshiped a god called Miverna. World History indeed.img |
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27 |
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35 |
Oh noes: Joaquin Martinez calls CP's one sane editor, good ol' PJR, a vandal!img Response: Having not yet lost his mind from dealing with such insanity on a regular basis, PJR politely asks for an explanationimg. One cannot help but wonder where this man's breaking point is. Update Asked and answeredimg At least there was an apology. Oh wait... |
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1 |
Encyclopedic: After a year, "Mythbusters"img has been updated from a simple stub to a simple stub with known atheists; After more than a year, A Beautiful Mindimg has been updated from a stub to a stub that brings out "the truth" of Nash's liberal deceit. |
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Citing sources - Ur doing it wrong!img UPDATE: TK reverts.img And, of course, bans. |
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Andy: I won't discuss these allegationsimg until you insult liberals first. |
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With a stroke of Bush's pen, convicted criminals become heroes.img |
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-1 |
A YouTube poster turns off inflammatory comments directed at a pro-life video. TK: LIBRUL CENSORSHIP!img |
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8 |
Conservapedia old: If a Republican becomes Secretary of Commerce under Obama, he's like Judasimg. Conservapedia new: If a Republican doesn't become Secretary of Commerce, obviously Obama's leading a conspiracy to control the U.S. census!img |
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It's Official! Andy's dialogue regarding the naming of President's Day contains the All-Time Mother Lodeimg of Schlaflyisms, providing moar fud for Virtual Andy. |
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50 |
One of Ed "stubby" Poor's finest, and most baffling entries, ever.img |
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29 |
Andy: "Welcome, Russia!"img TK: "Goimg toimg Hell,img Russia!"img |
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30 |
Andy thanks 'Pravda' (i.e., not actually Pravda)img for their 'kind words'...and helpfully links to a page which is entirely in Russian. Andy's thorough translation gives us the following insightful information about CP: "The first commandment of Conservapedia is the arrangement only of true". Wow. |
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8 |
Joaquin Martinez makes Aleister Crowleyimg the poster child for bisexuals, and helpfully points out that he was called 'the wickedest man on Earth'. |
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The hidden depthimg of Foxtrot... |
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Category:Black Peopleimg? Yes Teacake, it's pretty clear what you're thinking. |
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No chance in hell.img Whoops. Hell. |
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1 |
Conservapedia, with one hand singing Susan B. Anthony's praises,img with the other hand bemoaning the success of everything she worked for.img |
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In chomping at the anti-abortion bit, Conservapedia gets really creepy.img |
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11 |
Andy finished collecting the best answers of World History Homework 2img! America rules, because it's free and fatimg, also it's apparently based on"teh Republik"img by Plato! Stuffing unrelated anti-abortionistimg propagandaimg in your answer? Will use as a model! And if all else fails, just answer "God did itimg, he can do anything, if he wanted to!img". 100/100, full credit! |
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18 |
Jpatt completely loses the plot over Presidents Day.img UPDATE Andy, of course, blames the atheistsimg |
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14 |
Conservapedia: Global warming causes mental illness.img For once, we agree. |
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According to Sir Schlafly, China invented fireworks BEFORE gunpowderimg. Bonus points: the Chinese managed to invent bamboo. |
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Welcomeimg ASchlaflyimg toimg theimg Conservative's schoolimg ofimg wikiimg editing!img |
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20 |
Conservapedia: Abortion advocates, in their deceit, are talking Newspeakimg. In other Conservapedia news, religion is science and atheist crimethinkers unbellyfeel Andyspeak.img |
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22 |
Even in the midst of tragedy, idiocy and bigotry reign.img |
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Editor: "Excuse me, but there's a basic flaw in your theory there"img. Andy: "Neee Naww your pants are on fire AND you're a stupid cow!"img. Mature debate at its finest. |
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8 |
Ed: "If that's not funny, I don't know what is."img Yes, Ed, you've made that abundantly clear. |
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Atheists, like the ancient Greeks, have no sense of humourimg. Then why is this so funny? |
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User: We have a joke articleimg in the main space? Why don't we move it? Ed: I want more Google hits.img |
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Jinx hi Jinx!: Atheists incorrectly sayimg that the Constitution grants "freedom from religion." But isn't that irrelevant, given that atheism is a religion?img |
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TK bans a userimg even after his 3 contributionsimg were all pro-Andy, pro-conservapedia edits! How can this be you ask? Either a case of Poe's Law... OR TK's jealous of the quick pat on the head this new user got from Andy!img. |
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Realizing that basic logic does not work with The Schlafly, one user tries to incorporate Andy's favorite 2+2 line of reasoningimg. All that's missing is the "godspeed" signoff. |
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2 |
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133 |
The great redefinition quest continues: if Andy doesn't laugh at pre-Jesus comedy, it wasn't intended to be comedy at allimg UPDATE Andy sez "Satire is not humour"img |
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14 |
Prostitution is a 'liberal value'img over in the alternative form of reality that CP has created...because as we all know, Conservatves would never get involved with that kind of thing.....oh wait.... |
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51 |
Does TK hold a grudge againstimg |
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24 |
Breaking news! Over the past two years or so, CP's evolution ! |
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27 |
In an attempt to shut out our Ace McWicked, Karajou adds another Forbidden City to the list.img |
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28 |
Ken sinks to a new lowimg. Operation Grassroots and Flying Fortress have not yet begun in proper, Gentlemen! Beware |
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Mystery:Did humour exist before Conservapedia?imgUpdate:Noimg, noimg, noimg!!!1 |
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33 |
Partner-in-heresy DeniseM points out Andy's mistakes and appeals to his better natureimg. This is the secondimg time she's poked the bear. Andy will soon (home)school her. UPDATE Andy repliesimg in a chivalrous manner. |
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20 |
Third-string sysop AddisonDM modestly adds himselfimg to the pantheon of Conservapedia's upper elite. Along with Assfly, Ed, KenDoll, JM, and TK. Modesty must be a conservative virtue. Why don't you add that, Addison? |
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16 |
Andy on the importance of language over laws: "Personally, I think language is more important because it effects [sic] everyone, particularly during formative childhood years."img Not to disappoint, extra credit!img |
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30 |
Ed thinks that referring to Jack the Ripper's victims as prostitutes is too luridimg for the kiddies (notwithstanding the fact they were also "murdered and mutilated"). Hope they never look at the Homosexualityimg article then. |
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Somebody got blocked for edit-warring. The twists? For six monthsimg and for pushing thisimg edit. Bonus lulz for Andy accusing the guy of making "non-encyclopedia edits". Andy really never opened an encyclopedia, did he? |
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24 |
Media exposes the adultery of a Democratic senator's husband: Anyone who doesn't like this is a liberal censor.img Media exposes the drunk driving of a Republican vice-presidential candidate's husband: Pathetic tabloid smear.img |
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Oh, TK... sarcasmimg isn't really appropriate when you leave an article hangingimg in mid-sentence for a freaking HOUR. An hour during which you uploadedimg picturesimg, added a news itemimg and createdimg an article. (Note the use of the term "created" and not "wrote" because this is still TK, after all.) |
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(Moer Uncle Ed) Only 3 weeks late Ed putsimg some "News" on the front page and writesimg an article about it. Wait... Does this mean that Ed is also using Obama Time? Talk about unfortunate news placement... |
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14 |
Jolly Uncle Ed reminds us: "No one here has 'rights' - protecting yourself is not an issue. Volunteers have obligations to the project. Those who ignore those obligations are removed."img |
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Fox News per Conservapedia: Obama is being arrogant because he is always late for everythingimg. Of course, Bush was always on time, just like the trains in Fascist Italy. |
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"The Obama article should goimg into the Barack Obama category, right?" - TK: "Huh? There is noimg Barack Obama category. Surely you meant our Barack HUSSEINimg Obama category, right? Because calling him Barack Obama is a sly mis-namingimg introduced by subversive liberal trolls!" |
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Uh, yeah, JPatt, I'm sure it was CP's not-the-newsimg posting that made them realise the error of their ways. |
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Oh dear, somebodyimg is about to find themselves becoming Andy's least favourite cunning linguist. UPDATE Denise getsimg herimg comeuppanceimg and returns to grovellingimg. |
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Our favorite Young Earth creationist Andy Schlafly used to be gullible enough to trust an 1890 newspaper account claiming a dinosaur sightingimg. But not anymore?img |
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HOLY CRAP, STOP THE PRESSES! Creationists might increase their anti-atheism efforts!img In other breaking news, gravity still makes things fall down. |
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10 |
Ed Poor adds a fact tagimg to the 'gay doctor' claim in the gay disease article, which comes as close as possible to admitting that he just made stuff up back when he added the claim.img |
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22 |
Ed says tomahtoimg, Andy says tomaytoimg...Update: Ed goes full patrioticimg on slavery |
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6 |
News flash: Judd ("Judasimg") Gregg refused to take the nomination for cabinet secretary unless a Republican replaced him. The silence from Conservapedia isimg deafeningimg. |
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Jinx hi Jinx! returns to express his hateimg for scientistsimg. |
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Simply providing an articleimg when askedimg isn't enough. Karajou demandsimg it to be read to him.img Unsurprising update: The situation escalates,img TK joins in, erases final the commentimg and bansimg the "liberal troll". CP in a nutshell, really. |
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28 |
Andy: "Hey, I haven't the foggiest idea what you're talking about, so can you write my History Lectures for meimg?! That'd be great, thanks!" Update: Well, he askedimg for it... Shock Horror, DeniseM removes the words of The Master!img Surely the end of the world is at hand. |
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21 |
Congress says: You can't use money meant for public schools to repair seminaries. TK says: CONGRESS IS MAKING WAR ON PRAYER!img |
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34 |
Andy is allowed to make mathematical mistakes with large numbersimg; but Nancy Pelosi isn't.img |
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50 |
Cyber-bullying by TK - conservative editor makes uncontroversial edits; gets revertedimg; his attempts to ask why on TK's talk page getimg deletedimg and he is then threatened with blocking for having the temerity to ask questions. |
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10 |
Stop the presses! No Hitler picture anywhere near the top of the Evolutionimg page! |
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6 |
No, you don't get it, NotALiberal. Moar Hitlerimg is essential to any good encyclopedic page on evolution. |
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12 |
Oh, this can't be good.img Another "Scientific controversy"img over how HIV causes AIDS (that is, at CP, HIV doesn't, gayness doesimg). |
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An encyclopedia? Yes, definitelyimg! UPDATE: Who saidimg this was about anybody? MOAR! Obama's not really black?img "If you're a queer, then it's time to cheer?" I'm Andy Schlafly, and I approved this message!imgMOAR MOAR PLZ!: Andy improvesimg, adds more crapimg and formatzimg. What about an answerimg? Nopeimg. And of course, the usual suspects: Schlafly invokes public schoolsimg, Comedy Centralimg, deceit, and teh troothimg to fend off thoaz eevuhl LIE-for-alls. Breaking news: Now Andy realizes that his core audience is comprised of hicks and the ill-educated, so he "improves"img a line. |
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57 |
Andy's latest insight:img Obama refers to America as... America, "as a foreigner would". Unlike George W. Bush, of course (do a full-text search for "America"). Also, Andy apparently thinks "we" (in "we will get there") is third-person when Obama uses it. |
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24 |
PJR: enabler of vandalism. At least, according to TKimg... UPDATE: PJR returns fire!img The past is coming back to haunt TK. How will he react? |
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7 |
Conservapedia's family values: Grandparents are refused their request to adopt their grandchildren, who are instead given to strangers. What's wrong with this? The strangers in question are gay!img |
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12 |
A government nurse admits that she uses her job to further a religious agenda of hers; her employer suspends her. Conservapedia: How could they?!img |
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52 |
Inquiring minds want to know: has Andy ever actually seen an encyclopedia?img |
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38 |
That well-known liberal scum Karajou dumbs downimg the Barack Hussein Obama article. (Without any discussion. Anywhere?) Andy revertsimg the placement bias. |
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18 |
Moar RW trollingimg from our friends at CP. Apparently, Assfly hasn't warned them that every page view makes us more and more correct. However, hopefully he will be smart enough to tell PhilipV what anagram means. |
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21 |
More Conservapedia revisionist history; George Washington, |
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7 |
By this Thursday there will be dozens of homeworks posted by other students in the course. Dozens? Wow! Will Andy's course live up to this bold claim?img |
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-6 |
Honestly, who edits from Berkeleyimg anyway? Could this be some hawt sock-on-sock action? |
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21 |
Andy accidentally punts the whole of Conservapedia. Again. |
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42 |
And now for some philosophical quotables... Thomas Hobbes: "...the life of man, solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short." Andrew Schlafly: "Liberals...stupid, intolerant, bigoted, and annoyingimg. |
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33 |
Obama now controls the Super Bowl half-time show!img Will he stop at nothing! |
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13 |
Andy's having a fit because somebody didn't pay his taxes.img (No, we aren't talking about His Creationist Majesty Dr. Kent Hovind.img) |
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33 |
A Democratic mayor abandons his party mid-term? No problem.img A Republican senator accepts a cabinet position? According to Andy, that's just as bad as betraying Jesus!img |
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12 |
It's official: Conservative thinks that "Google" is a nickname for Yahoo.comimg. Then again, we shouldn't expect too much from someone who has trouble distinguishing "up" and "down". |
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13 |
Ken figures that since nobody seriously opposed his decision to have an article of the year, nobody is going to mind him (re-?)introducing the Article of the Monthimg - with Dawkins being the first victim. So far, the small section has four links to the Dawkins article and one YouTube link. This decision also gave Ken a nice excuse to protectimg the Dawkins article for at least one month (even though it's likely he'll conveniently forget to unprotect it in March). |