Fun:Barbie Land

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Map of Barbie Land.
We shall never surrender to ordinary, for Barbie's influence shall endure, forever shining as a symbol of enduring allure.
—Joseph Barbillion, 1959.

The Republic of Barbie Land is an autarkic sovereign city-state in North America that occupies 44 hectares (0.44 km²; 110 acres), and a population of 1,337. The country is inhabited by sentient dolls who name themselves Barbie or Ken. Barbie Land is ruled by a president known simply as President Barbie.

Despite its seemingly utopian facade, with ornate buildings and landmarks mimicking those of the United States, the country is ruled under a matriarchal form of fascism and is dominated by women in almost all aspects of society. There exists a significant minority of male Ken dolls in the country, but they are for the most part viewed as second-class citizens stripped of residence and basic civil rights apart from as accessories to the Barbies. Furthermore, it is perhaps most notable for the famously crazy personality cult built around President Barbie who built a golden statue of herself that rotates to face the sun, and required students to learn and take spiritual guidance from her evidently stultifying stream-of-consciousness book How To Lose Weight.[1]

Government and human doll rights[edit]

The Barbieland government is ostensibly in the form of a presidential republic, and its constitution is modeled after that of the United States. Its legislature however is noted by outside observers and rights groups as a rubber-stamp congress, where President Barbie rules by decree.

While physical torture is uncommon in Barbie Land, the Kens as well as what the mainstream population derisively refer to as "outcasts", namely Weird Barbie, Midge and Skipper, are regularly subjected to ostracization and mental as well as psychological torture due to them not meeting their standards of beauty, and in the case of Kens, being of the opposite gender; the latter is moot point due to the dolls distinct lack of genitalia. Gender equality is guaranteed in the constitution, but this is rarely enforced in practice.

Contrary to popular belief, pornography is illegal, due to it being utterly pointless because the dolls' lack any form of reproductive features. Flat feet is also frowned upon by the ruling Barbie class.[2]

Apart from a number of attempts by missionaries to introduce Christianity in Barbie Land,[3] religion is virtually unknown there. Most of the doll population simply do not care as they have no need for a belief in a higher being due to them being plastic humanoids rather than real humans.


See also[edit]