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Fun:Bibble
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Tired of laughing? RationalWiki has a slightly more serious article about Bible. |
The Holey Bibble is a collection of 66 books. Or maybe it's 75. I'm not sure. The Roman Catholics say one thing and the Protestants say another. Back in 1873, the King James Version of the Bibble descended upon the English speaking world as a gift from God. That is how we got our Bibble.
Fred Phelps knows that the Holey Bibble teaches that Jerry Falwell is in hell because he wasn't a Calvinist. I learnd this from Conservapedia.
The KGB is behind the plot to ban the Bibble worldwide. In 1962, the KGB assassinated John F. Kennedy because he was a Catholic. But according to John R. Rice, God allowed Kennedy to be assassinated because the Kennedy family is under a curse. Why? Simple, it's because the Kennedys made their fortune in the liquor industry.
God hates liquor. The Bibble says, "Be not drunk with wine, but be filled with the Holey Spirit". "Spirit" is another word for hard liquor. But it is only Holy if it was blessed by a priest, like holy water. Therefore wine is off limits according to the Bibble, but hard liquor is ok but only if a priest blesses it. This is why drunkards are called winebibbers. It has something to do with what the Bibble says about wine. Okay? Now didn't Jebis convert water to wine? That must be yet another example of liberal deceit.
Marijuana is completely off limits. The Bibble says "And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat. " [1]. Should Christians eat the poisonous plants??? If Christians took that literally there would be a lot fewer of them around. Any day those Snake handlers could start eating poisonous plants. Ahhhhh!!!!!
But I learnd the other day from the American Family Association that marijuana is a KGB plot against Christianity because it turns you into a homosexual.
Your salvation depends on it!!![edit]
The Bibble is the Wholly Infallable Inspired Word of God.
If you read the Bibble, you will be inspired to become Wholly Holy and sing Hymns to Him. You might even join the Frozen Chosen. If youre really naughty God will punish you anyway in the Lake of Fire.