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France and Iraq[edit]

The French didn't agree with the United States of America (U! S! A! U! S! A! U! S! A!) to bring freedom in Iraq. This was probably because they'd surrender on the spot. They always surrender, like in World War 2. Stupid French. Though they do so in style. If you love Freedom and/or hate the French, spread the word on the internet on how they always surrender!

Complete list of French Military Victories[edit]

See also French military victories.
Two tumbleweeds rolling across the screen, from left to right.

This stands in great contrast with all the awesome military victories of the Great United States of America since the end of WWII:

Other stuff[edit]

An adjective describing something of or relating to France. And now all rise for the national anthem...

Allons enfants de la patrie,

Le jour de gloire est arrivé!

Contre nous de la tyrannie

L'étendard sanglant est levé! (bis)

Entendez-vous dans les campagnes,

Mugir ces féroces soldats?

Ils viennent jusque dans nos bras

Égorger nos fils, nos compagnes!

Aux armes, citoyens!

Formez vos bataillons!

Marchons! Marchons!

Qu'un sang impur

Abreuve nos sillons!

- -

Amour sacré de la patrie,

Conduis, soutiens nos bras vengeurs!

Liberté, Liberté chérie,

Combats avec tes défenseurs! (bis)

Sous nos drapeaux, que la victoire

Accoure à tes mâles accents!

Que tes ennemis expirants

Voient ton triomphe et notre gloire!

Aux armes, citoyens!

Formez vos bataillons!

Marchons! Marchons!

Qu'un sang impur

Abreuve nos sillons!


Nous entrerons dans la carrière

Quand nos aînés n'y seront plus;

Nous y trouverons leur poussière

Et la trace de leurs vertus. (bis)

Bien moins jaloux de leur survivre

Que de partager leur cercueil,

Nous aurons le sublime orgueil

De les venger ou de les suivre!

Aux armes, citoyens!

Formez vos bataillons!

Marchons! Marchons!

Qu'un sang impur

Abreuve nos sillons!

French literature[edit]

It's just pages of declarations of surrender!

National sports[edit]

There aren't any, because they always surrender, you know because the French surrender all the time.

Motto of the French Army[edit]

Bitte! Bitte! Schießen Sie nicht! Wir kapitulieren!

Filth and lies[edit]

French is a relatively easy language to learn, as 99.999% of all French words translate to "We Surrender".[citation NOT needed]

French military defeats[edit]

This section has had to be shortened significantly due to the number of defeats and surrenders being so big that the server simply can't handle so much information.

Agincourt (1415): The French army outnumbered the English by about 6 times. The English still won.
Trafalgar (1805): The French (and Spanish) navies were ripped apart by the English one.
World War II: The French surrender Paris to the Nazis so that their precious dildo Eiffel Tower could be not destroyed.
French Revolution: Even when they fought themselves, the French still lost.

French jokes[edit]

They always surrender... THAT'S THE JOKE.

Thing the French do[edit]



It's not free. Based on current exchange rates (11/17/15), about .99 Euro.

More info[edit]

There are no French military victories (because they always surrender).

See also[edit]

  • Surrendering
  • Recipe:Frog legs
  • England
  • Le Surrendér
  • Sex
  • Surrender
  • Quebec
  • The French always surrender
  • Freedom
  • Countries smart enough not to follow the U.S. into war in Iraq, which led to the following insults:
  • Freedom bread
  • Freedom fries (which are actually Belgian)
  • Freedom toast
  • Freedom kiss
  • Freedom horn No (well... mostly) respectable horn player called the thing French to start with, so this didn't catch.
  • Freedom braid
  • Freedom language
  • Freedom-Canadians
  • Freedom's mustard
  • Wine-Drinking, Beret-Wearing, Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys
  • The oh-so-tough Internet meme below.

External Links[edit]