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Fun:Zombie

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All we want to do is eat your brains

We're not unreasonable, I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes
All we want to do is eat your brains

We're at an impasse here, maybe we should compromise[.]
—Re: Your Brains[1]
That's the thing about zombies. They don't adapt and they don't think. Literally, you could have a zombie on one side of a chain link fence and you could be on the other side and they could be trying to get to you and six feet down could be an open door and they will not go through that door in the fence. That's why they're so scary.
—Max Brooks[2]

BARHA gruh grah yaaarrgh grah bruragh bruhschfraaggh schfraaggh! raaarrrgh murgh gruh bhrnr. braaargh. puuurge!

Zombie apocalypse[edit]

In popular culture, a zombie is a being that rose from the dead or a human turned into a zombie by a virus, parasite, chemical, or some other reanimating force. If a zombie bites you, you turn into a zombie. Most zombies are very dumb and shamble around and waddle after any human they see. The best way to kill a zombie is to shoot it in the face or behead it.

The zombie apocalypse has been a staple of post-apocalyptic film and fiction. It is thought that the origins trace back to the 1954 novel I Am Legend by Richard Matheson.[3] Though the monsters in the novel were not zombies in the strictest sense, and were indeed based more on vampire legends than the modern concept of the zombie, it began a genre which is usually defined by the following hallmarks:

  • A virus, either synthetic or natural, that causes zombification
  • Alternatively, hell being filled to capacity, and the souls of the damned returning to their human bodies to cause hell on Earth
  • Worldwide (sometimes localised) societal destruction
  • A single survivor or small faction of survivors
  • Gore
  • Zombies

Modern incarnations of the zombie apocalypse theme are usually associated with George Romero, who produced and directed Night of Living Dead (1968, remade multiple times over the years), and continued with Dawn of the Dead (1978, remade in 2004), Day of the Dead (1985, remade in 2008), Land of the Dead (2004), Diary of the Dead (2008), and Survival of the Dead (2009). Other notable zombie apocalypse films include the comedy Return of the Living Dead (1985, notable for originating the "zombies eat brains" trope), the British 28 Days Later (2002, which spawned the 2007 sequel 28 Weeks Later) and the Spanish REC (2007, remade in the USA in 2008 as Quarantine). In Romero movies and some others, the zombies are always "shufflers" that move and stumble at a walking pace, while in other films (particularly modern ones), they are "runners" that can move as fast as, if not faster than, a normal human. Purists state that shufflers are scarier because they create a sense of an impending, unstoppable doom, while others believe the runners are scarier because the threat gets up in your face. But really, who cares?

Handy hints for surviving a Zombie apocalypse[edit]

  • Prepare beforehand. Arm yourself to the teeth, put iron bars on your windows and high fences around your property, create a "victory garden" growing food in your yard, install a system to collect rainwater, and stock up on things you can't make yourself, like canned food, bottled water, ammo, medicine, fuel, alcohol, cigarettes (a valuable trading commodity, as any convict knows), and bottle caps. That way, you won't have to scavenge for much afterward — you'll already be set when the day comes. Sure, you may be laughing at the "doomsday preppers" now, but when doomsday comes shambling up your street hungry for your brains, they'll be the ones prepared for it.
  • Don't trust anyone. If you run into other survivors, they will most likely be either bandits who will either want to kill you for your woman and supplies, or a group set on creating a new society where the "mistakes" of the past are not repeated. Even your friends won't necessarily stand by your side — studies have shown that, once you have barricaded yourself into a safe place, one of your party will inevitably go nuts and try to hurt you. Be on your guard, because they really are out to get you.
  • If someone is bitten, do not, under any circumstances, take them with you. Either shoot them while they're still human or just leave them behind. They will turn, and they will attack you.
  • Zombies travel in packs. Where you see one, you can be sure others are nearby.
  • While zombies are slow-moving and seemingly easy to outrun, be aware that they will ambush you when you least expect it.
  • Zombies can sustain massive injuries, such as losing limbs and vital organs. The only fool-proof way of killing a zombie is by removing the head or destroying the brain.
    • For melee weapons, a blunt instrument capable of smashing skulls (such as a baseball bat, a crowbar, or some other makeshift club) is recommended. Swords, machetes, and axes can get stuck in zombie guts, and a clean, amputating strike takes a lot of training to pull off, though if you have that skill, by all means use it. Longer weapons are preferred so as to reduce the risk of blood splatter getting in your face and causing infection, though be sure to keep a knife on hand in case of emergency (i.e. if one of them grabs you and is about to bite you).
    • For ranged weapons, if you're actively hunting zombies, grab a gun with a long reach (like a hunting rifle) for outside and a smaller weapon (like a handgun or a sawed-off shotgun) for fighting indoors or in close quarters. Caliber doesn't matter, as even a mousy pocket-pistol round can reliably destroy the brain on a clean headshot. If you're not on the hunt, however, the noise of a gunshot may attract way more attention than you might want- zombies are known to be attracted to loud noises. For defense, consider a crossbow, which has been proven in the Great Atlanta Outbreak of 2010 to be quiet and surprisingly versatile — and you'll also be able to take on vampires.
    • Sometimes they can even get back up and keep attacking after being decapitated. The only way to be certain that a zombie will stay dead is to destroy the body entirely. Fire should do the trick more often than not, although if it is still active a burning zombie can still do damage before it is completely immolated.
  • Popular myth has proven that plants can and do repel zombies.
  • Double tap. Don't just knock 'em down, bash their brains in until you see gray matter leaking from their skulls. If you scored a headshot, shoot 'em again to make sure, ammo conservation be damned. Remember, they're already walking corpses. There's no indicator for when you've actually re-killed them, and so you need to make sure they're dead. As above, your safest bet is to burn or otherwise destroy the body to avoid the risk of it reanimating again.
  • Further mutation of zombies can and will occur after death, which can grant the zombies unnatural abilities. Some might projectile-vomit acid, leap up to fifty feet in the blink of an eye, sprout tentacle-like limbs to ensnare and drag off victims, or have muscles so massive they can act as natural armor even while they crush your bones to a fine powder.
  • Remember: there is no hope. Always save one bullet to use on yourself.
  • Flora of all varieties have proven to be extremely effective against the undead. Reasons why are still unknown.

Preparedness[edit]

I think the worst thing about zombies is that they don't die from the injuries they've already sustained... Which is a REAL big problem if they somhow managed to become a headless zombie... A headless military zombie.
—Anonymous probably dead guy

Zombies could defeat mankind[4] and we are unprepared. At least one UK city is unprepared for a Zombie invasion![5] The threat is indeed real! 200 dead zombies invaded Leicester on 18 June 2011. [6] Leicester had advanced warning but still failed to act![7]And a similar attack had already happened in Times Square! [8] Are you better prepared?

hrugh[edit]

grugh gruh bruh murgh bruragh bruh, grah yaaarrgh. rurgh mragh[9] raaarrrghraig. Bruhgurgh gruh gruh gra schfraaggh bruraghhrugh. schfraaggh yaaarrgh raaarrrgh crusehhrugh!

gruh bruragh?[edit]

bruh bruragh graaaah hrughbhrnrgrah[10]! gruh murgh jnxgrugh yaaarrgh bruhbruaghgrugh!!! braaargh raaarrrgh yaaarrgh braaargh BARHA rurghbrah gruh. Grugraaaah bugruh.

See also[edit]

External links[edit]

Zombie movies[edit]

White Zombie (1932) was the first Zombie movie. At first there were few zombie movies (only a handful in the 1930s and 1940s). Now, just like zombies, they have proliferated and there are many among us. There are now countless zombie-themed movies and TV shows each year.[11]

Footnotes[edit]

  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6vnM9I7HIo
  2. http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/zombie.html#YC79wZR2TXMsXpmO.99
  3. Great book, mediocre movie — though The Omega Man was loosely based on this novel, and the first screen adaptation, The Last Man on Earth, was the closest to the original book.
  4. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/8206280.stm
  5. Leicester City Council 'not ready' for zombie attack
  6. Zombie fans invade 'unprepared' Leicester
  7. Zombie enthusiasts plan to 'attack' Leicester
  8. Zombies take over Times Square
  9. hrughrurgh brah murgh. brah braaargh rurgh bruh
  10. brah grah yaaarrgh.
  11. IMDB search on zombie